Enjoy the silence... and other updates

From Pendleton Street Arts District here in Greenville. Not sure what the wheel is about, or the sun nuts, but its art, so its okay.


More on my Flickr page.


~*~




As I sit here worrying over whether the entire upstate is being slowly poisoned with radioactivity, I've decided to post some links I've been mulling over.






The adoptive parents of Baby Veronica, not satisfied that they WON their big case, are now suing the Cherokee Nation for court fees. (Do you BELIEVE these people?) They are seeking a cool one million dollars:

NOWATA, Okla. — Attorneys for the adoptive parents of a 4-year-old girl caught up in a custody dispute are seeking $1 million in legal fees from the Cherokee Nation and the girl’s biological father, who is a member of the tribe.

Attorneys representing Matt and Melanie Capobianco have filed paperwork seeking the legal fees incurred while fighting the lengthy custody battle over 4-year-old Veronica.

In September, Dusten Brown handed Veronica over to the Capobiancos after the Oklahoma Supreme Court lifted an emergency stay keeping the girl in Oklahoma.

The Tulsa World reports attorneys for the Capobiancos are seeking $1 million to be split among four law firms. The newspaper reports none of the money would go to the Capobiancos.

Attorneys for Brown and the Cherokee Nation declined to comment on the filing.

~*~

Google has been ordered to block images in a privacy case. This may set a precedent, since as you know, ordinary people do not have the right to make Google do squat... but rich people (specifically Max Mosley) sure do! (Biographical note: Max is the son of Oswald Mosley, whom non-British rock fans mostly recognize as the subject of "Less Than Zero" by Elvis Costello.) According to the New York Times:

LONDON — A French court ruled Wednesday that Google must remove from its Internet search results all images of a former Formula One car racing chief at an orgy. The ruling in the privacy case could have ramifications for the tech giant’s operations across Europe.

Max Mosley, the former president of the International Automobile Federation, had filed the lawsuit in September to force Google to automatically filter from its search engine links to images from a British newspaper report in 2008 that included photos and a video of Mr. Mosley participating in a sadomasochistic sex party.

The former Formula One head successfully sued the News of the World in a London court for breach of privacy and was awarded £60,000, or about $96,000, in damages.

On Wednesday, the Tribunal de Grande Instance in Paris backed Mr. Mosley’s attempts to force Google to block references to the images from appearing in Google’s search results worldwide. The company said it would appeal the decision.

Mr. Mosley argued that French law makes it illegal to take and distribute images of an individual in a private space without that person’s permission. But Google said that would limit freedom of speech, forcing the company to block search results without any person or court overseeing the context in which the images appeared.

Analysts said the ruling against Google could lead to greater restrictions on what was accessible through search results and could prompt more people to demand that the United States technology company remove references to their private activities.

“At this point in time, the pendulum is swinging toward individuals’ privacy and away from freedom of speech,” said Carsten Casper, a privacy and security analyst at the consulting firm Gartner in Berlin.

...

As part of the settlement ordered by the French court on Wednesday, Google will have to filter out nine images of Mr. Mosley from its worldwide search results. The company must pay him 1 euro in compensation and it will be fined 1,000 euros every time that an image is found through its search engine, starting at the beginning of next year.

“It’s a fair decision,” said Clara Zerbib, a lawyer at the law firm Reed Smith in Paris who represented Mr. Mosley in the lawsuit. “This case isn’t about censoring information, but about complying with French law.”

...

The lawsuits relate to a 2008 report in The News of the World, a British newspaper owned by Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp., which was later closed because of its ties to a phone hacking scandal. The article described Mr. Mosley’s activities as a “sick Nazi orgy.” The allegations were particularly damaging, as Mr. Mosley is the son of Sir Oswald Mosley, a pre-World War II-era British fascist, and Mr. Mosley had sought to distance himself from his father’s activities.

By pursuing legal action in France and Germany, Mr. Mosley was taking advantage of more stringent data privacy legislation in those countries compared with either the United States or Britain, according to privacy analysts. In France, for example, it is a criminal offense to record someone else without his or her consent in a private space.

Google is facing a number of privacy lawsuits in Europe.

~*~

How would the world's coastlines look if all the ice melted?

Well, for starters, Florida would be history. Here is the interactive map.

Charleston, Hilton Head and Myrtle Beach would also be gone, meaning that the South Carolina coast would start somewhere around Columbia, by my reckoning.

~*~

I am opposed to assisted suicide. I thought I might have said this before on this blog... but then again, when I do a search, find that I have hedged and have not stated my opposition outright, so here it is: No.

And I recently remembered the reasons for my opposition, whilst reading Bad Cripple's eloquent blog. He is far more poetic and personal on the topic than I could ever be:

I think we people with a disability are feared. We are the one and only minority that can be joined via illness or accident. Our atypical bodies also symbolically represent the limits of medical science. Please do not talk to me about joint decision making strategies between physician and patients. Do not talk to me about informed consent. Do not talk to me about patient centered care. These buzz words are cultural ideals we aspire to reach. I am not suggesting we do away with these concepts. They should be valued. But my reality, my experiences when I try to access health care is radically different. [UK-Guardian writer Stella] Young quotes Marilyn Golden, a long time opponent of assisted suicide who perceptively observed: "we are asking the wrong questions when it comes to assisted death: We have to ask, do people with disabilities have true choice and self determination, in terms of living outside of nursing homes? In terms of housing that is truly affordable and accessible? In terms of the kind of services that really allow them to lead meaningful lives? In many cases, no."

These are the sort of questions we should be discussing. Why do people, all people, want to die? What drives a person to think death is preferable to living? Pain is not the primary variable. People choose to die because they fear losing their independence and autonomy. And here the link between end of life issues and disability is glaringly obvious to me. When I see a person with a disability I think of all the things a person can do. The same can be said for any person approaching the end of life. I think what can this person do? How can their life even with death impending be enhanced? This is not typically how others with no exposure to disability or end of life issues think. Instead we isolate the disabled and elderly--a historic pattern we have yet to break.

~*~

Nico Lang writes at Salon: America still can't accept Lady Gaga's bisexuality, or anybody else's. The title says it all.

The comments are also very interesting and instructive.

~*~

Camille Lewis shared with me this article about icky local Tea Party busybody Harry Kibler:

Kibler’s approach to political activism doesn’t rely on subtlety and consensus-building. He prefers open and direct confrontation, and his energy is inexhaustible. I recently spoke with him about his latest project, an effort to stop the Greenville County Council from imposing a one percent sale tax for the purpose of road maintenance.

“I’ve had so dad gum much fun doing this,” he tells me, “it ought to be against the law.”

Would that it were so.

Read it and weep.

~*~

MORE:

:: Today on our radio show, the redoubtable Occupy the Microphone, we discussed the case of George Stinney, a 14-year-old who was executed by the state of South Carolina in 1944. Currently, there is a renewed effort to clear his name and get his conviction overturned.

:: What happened to the Middle Class? Ask Alice. (Minneapolis Star Tribune)

:: I love this! ----> The Myth of Re-enchantment (thinkBuddha.org)

:: The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer (GoodMenProject)

:: Hope your Veterans Day has been good; don't forget my post last year on this holiday. It is even more accurate now than it was then. Take heed and beware.

:: And finally, here is your CUTE QUOTIENT CONTENT for this month... and possibly for the whole year. I have bookmarked this, and I go to it when I need to feel calm, centered and happy. TOO CUTE FOR WORDS: Baby Goats and Friends. SQUEEEEEEEE! Gonna die. Gonna. Just. Die. (And they upload more all the time, from everywhere.)

~*~

Due to Daylight Savings Time, its dark when we leave the radio station now.

There is nothing quite as magical as driving through the crisp, autumnal dark, peering at all the headlights... and then Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode pops up on your radio dial. Otherworldly, perfect.

All I ever wanted, all I ever needed... is for special moments like this to go on forever. :)

Enjoy the Silence - Depeche Mode

Campaign for Southern Equality

The "WE DO" demonstration was today in both Greenville and Asheville... and we had a pretty good-sized group for the upstate. Over a hundred folks; I am SO proud of us!

And only one lone heckler, who instructed us to read Romans Chapter 1. (I guess the rain was a mixed blessing.) There were five Greenville Occupiers in attendance.







We started at the Warehouse Theater and marched over to Greenville County Square. Six couples attempted to get marriage licenses as we quietly witnessed outside; some prayed. When the couples emerged, we applauded and cheered.

At least one couple was already married in their home state, but are not regarded as legally married here in South Carolina, where they currently reside.

It was invigorating! Hope you like my photos (at left and below) of the demonstration; the last two were taken inside the Warehouse Theater. (As always, you can click to enlarge.)

Gay, lesbian couples denied marriage licenses in Greenville
Written by Ron Barnett
Greenville News staff writer

More than 100 supporters turned out on a drizzly morning to support half a dozen gay and lesbian couples who attempted — and were denied — to apply for marriage licenses at Greenville County Square.

The event was aimed at drawing attention to South Carolina’s marriage laws, which allow only heterosexual couples to marry.

“In May of 2011 we were able to go to Washington, D.C., and get married,” Ra’Shawn Barlow-Flournoy told marriage license clerk Elizabeth Robinson. “And we just wish that we could be able to come back home to South Carolina and be able to have the same rights as everyone else.”

The event was organized by the Campaign for Southern Equality and was the fourth of nine stops at courthouses in six states. The group was headed to Asheville after leaving Greenville.

The Rev. Jasmine Beach-Ferrara, executive director of the organization, urged the group which gathered at the Warehouse Theatre on Augusta Street afterward to continue to work to change people’s minds in a nation that allows gay marriage in some states and not in others.

“It’s immoral and it’s illogical and it’s unsustainable, and it’s got to change,” she told the cheering group.

Ongoing YouTube account of the Southern Campaign here.

Please check them out on Twitter and elsewhere on the net, and lend your support. The South needs you!

~*~

Happy Coming Out Day!

Hey friends and neighbors! So much is going on, I hardly know where to begin. I am virtually breathless with excitement. I am also still unemployed, and we are nearing the finish line with those nice unemployment checks. I NEED A JOB, so send me an email if you are rich and need someone to: buff your floors, make your coffee, design a blog for you (I've done it three times now!), pick apples and green beans, walk your dogs, transcribe indecipherable medical blather, sell your health supplements, answer phones from irate people, talk on the radio about politics, and/or drive your bus fulla ill-mannered day-care brats. These are a few of the things I have done, but if I think a bit, can probably come up with a few more. Jack of all trades, etc.

I miss video stores... I rather enjoyed working at those. I worked for a local chain, so I got sent all over the upstate. Some of the video stores were in middle-class neighborhoods, but some were NOT; it was unpredictable and fun. It was a lot like the movie Clerks. This was the 90s, so when one of my movie-geek co-workers gave me copies of (much sought-after) PEEPING TOM and SHOCK CORRIDOR, I was thrilled beyond telling. No DVDs-with-extras in those days! I felt like I'd joined the ranks of the esoteric movie-fans, owning real-live collectables.

~*~

Happy Coming Out Day everyone!

Speaking of movies, I assume that anyone who has read my star-struck babbling about Elizabeth Taylor, Christina Hendricks and others, knows this about me already. But just in case I have to spell it out and COME OUT to my readers as bisexual: Yes, I am. Although frankly, I find that admission a bit foolish.

I am a boring old married woman, in a faithful and monogamous marriage, preparing to celebrate my 24th legal wedding anniversary to a man. Thus, it seems largely irrelevant to me. But of course, it is not... it is the whole reason I am so gung-ho on gay rights. If I had by chance fallen in love with the wrong person of the wrong gender, this anniversary would not be celebrated by some of the same people who now congratulate us. I can't quite forget that. I have privileges, I can pass, and it is my responsibility to use these privileges to help bring equality to others.

I would like everyone to have the right to be married for 24 years.

~*~

Some other interesting stuff for your perusal:

Jenni (whose blog I have just linked here at DEAD AIR) is an ex-fundamentalist Christian who wrote a heartfelt and honest coming-out letter to friends and family, many of whom are still fundamentalist. This made for a fascinating post on John Shore's blog: A Christian’s Coming Out Letter–And Some Responses To It. Recommended reading!

~*~

I have been participating on the blog No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz? (NSWATM) Aside: As I have asked before, who decided on this odd spelling of "teh" and why are we being forced to use it?

The discussions at NSWATM are highly critical of Second Wave feminism, but they are interesting. I have to restrain myself from giggling when certain participants start whining about how White Middle Class Educated Hetero Cis Men have been made to Feel Bad (aw), and I have discovered the wisest decision is simply to not comment when my giggling starts... giggling is by far, the best barometer I have that commenting is NOT SAFE... that was the mistake I made over at the Manblog That Will Not Be Named (MTWNBN).

The very gifted anti-feminist troll, Typhon Blue (mentioned rather unkindly here and here) has established a beachhead at NSWATM, so grab your popcorn. The show is just starting! TB is doing "her" usual reactionary schtick, forcefully attacking feminists and then standing back as the chivalrous anti-feminist men (who comically claim chivalry oppresses men, of course!) gallantly come to her aid. The question is whether this new exercise in melodrama will successfully get anyone banned, as she got ME banned at MTWNBN. So far, the management of NSWATM isn't swooning over her mommy-defends-the-beleaguered-boys routine, but she is just so deft at the concern trolling. The anti-feminist fellas just loooove her.

Remember the first time you explained to some guy that porn was staged and not real? I daresay, the guys at both NSWATM and MTWNBN will have that same crestfallen look when they discover that Typhon Blue is some 50-year-old farmer from Iowa, or whatever it is. (giggles)

As for me, I have made a point of not replying to her, so I hope that keeps her off me. I don't think I have much to worry about, since she has bigger fish to fry. There are lots of other feminists there for her to place in her cross-hairs and harass, all while playing innocent and complaining that she is triggered.

Honest confession: Damn, I wish I knew how to do that stuff. Those halos NEVER stayed on my head, even when I was a kid! ;)

Elizabeth Taylor 1932-2011

The most beautiful woman in the history of the world (and the subject of Daisy's major lifelong celebrity crush!) has passed on... I simply can't talk about it. :(

Below, some of my favorite photos of Elizabeth, from an older post.

Old Hollywood is officially over. Goodbye, dearest Elizabeth.

PS: You know you're getting old when your icons start dropping like flies...

~*~

Happy Birthday Elizabeth!

For those of you who worried that I would end up gaunt from my calorie restriction, never fear. Fat Tuesday to the rescue! I ate bowls (plural) of fabulous vegetarian gumbo, as well as cinnamon rolls slathered with sugar. At this rate, I won't be a fashionably-thin ascetic saint any time soon.

And you all know what day it is!!! YES, it is the birthday of Dead Air's official Goddess, Elizabeth, as we all turn towards Hollywood and bow. (((bows, blows copious kisses))) My gallery of photos from last year is still regularly Googled! I am so proud to add to the pantheon of stunning Liz images! At left, Elizabeth in Suddenly, Last Summer (1959). She looks too beautiful for mere words. I have always loved that dress. Most mental patients, as you know, have to wear ugly white hospital gowns, but not our Elizabeth! Montgomery Clift himself brings her pretty dresses while she argues her way out of a lobotomy.

For those unaware, the sister of the play's author, Tennessee Williams, was actually lobotomized in 1943. Her name was Rose, and there is a "rose" reference in virtually every one of his plays (even a play with "rose" in the title, The Rose Tattoo).

Wikipedia notes:

The "mad heroine" theme that appeared in many of his plays seemed clearly influenced by the life of Williams' sister Rose.

Characters in his plays are often seen as representations of his family members. Laura Wingfield in The Glass Menagerie was understood to be modeled on Rose. Some biographers believed that the character of Blanche DuBois in A Streetcar Named Desire is also based on her, as well as Williams himself [...] Characters such as Tom Wingfield in The Glass Menagerie and Sebastian in Suddenly, Last Summer were understood to represent Williams himself. In addition, he used a lobotomy operation as a motif in Suddenly, Last Summer.

Sebastian, in addition, is known unofficially as the "gay saint"--later joked about in the gay-themed play, The Boys in the Band.

From St Sebastian as a gay icon:

Saint Sebastian's appeal to gay men seems obvious. He was young, unmarried, and martyred by the establishment. Many gay writers and artists have taken Saint Sebastian's life and suggested that he may have been gay himself.

Sebastian is portrayed as a patriotic and loyal roman despite his subversive faith. While serving as a Roman soldier he became one of the Emperors favorites. Some stories say that the Emperor Diocletian made romantic advanced upon Sebastian and was enraged when Sebastian rejected him on Christian grounds. Other stories suggest that Sebastian and Diocletian may have had a homosexual relationship.

Imagery of Saint Sebastian has pictured him young, with a strong shirtless physique. He is beautifully receptive to the arrows penetrating his body but he has a look on his face of exquisite pain. Sebastian has become a homoerotically charged image of desire symbolizing isolationism, and persecution of the establishment.

Embracing a subversive faith, he is both strong and brave. Those who have wrestled with psychological demons, issues of sexuality, or have suffered publically can identify with Saint Sebastian. As a healer and patron of plagues, he has been linked with the devastation of AIDS. Catholics derive comfort from his possible representation of their sexuality before God.

I first saw Suddenly, Last Summer as a child, and didn't understand any of it. However, I was utterly terrified by the graphic finale, which I think is still pretty hair-raising, even after all these years. The story appears to mirror Tennessee Williams' own guilt (and possibly Gore Vidal's, author of the screenplay and the one who inserted the freaky images of the boys chasing Sebastian through the unnamed Third-Worldish streets) about paying impoverished young men and boys for sexual favors.

The play is about Sebastian's mother, Violet (Katharine Hepburn), who is attempting to have her niece (Elizabeth) lobotomized by handsome (and also gay) Dr Montgomery Clift. Elizabeth traveled abroad with Sebastian and witnessed his death. Hepburn instructs Clift to "cut this hideous story out of her brain"--one of those lines Williams was famous for... I have thought of it ever since, whenever hearing of lobotomies. (What did they "cut out of their brain"?--I have always wondered.)

At left: Sebastian has purchased a stunning white bathing suit for Elizabeth to wear. In the water it becomes virtually translucent, and she therefore doesn't want to go in. As the boys watch from a fenced-area (to keep the poor locals divided from the rich tourists), Sebastian forces her to go in the water. As always, his face is never shown.

As a kid, I didn't get the sexual references, about how Elizabeth was used as bait to draw the poor local boys to Sebastian (as Violet had been used previously, before growing too old). In the movie flashbacks, Sebastian always wears a white suit, symbolizing his whiteness. And his face is never shown; he stands in for all white men.

In the final harrowing flashback sequence, as Elizabeth narrates, the poor, ragged boys of all ages gather with clanging pots and pans as primitive instruments, making a clattering, scary racket... finally surrounding Sebastian. As a child, I was mesmerized: Why were they so angry with him? What do they want?

He throws money at them.

The boys just stare, unmoved. It is horrifying.

Sebastian runs.

He careens through twisting and turning narrow roads in his immaculate white suit, up, up, up, until he is at the top of a hill and there is nowhere to go. The boys surround Sebastian, and you only see his hand--stretching upward, as if to heaven--as they are on him.

And from Elizabeth's hysterical account, the secret emerges: the boys ate Sebastian alive.

As a 10-year-old, I knew not to ask any older people what any of this weird stuff meant, or why the boys were so pissed off. I knew the adults wouldn't let me watch it again, which I did every time it was on TV, trying to figure out the mystery. And at the age of 15, I finally did. (It wasn't until I was a bit older that I understood the cannibalistic reference.)

But even as a 10-year-old, I knew one thing for sure: I loved Elizabeth!!!!!

~*~

And I wish her a Happy Birthday!

Ending with Paul Newman's tribute to Elizabeth at Turner Classic Movies. Features the famous slip from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, but unfortunately, not the amazing party dress she wears in A Place in the Sun. (I also loved the sexy-pants outfit in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, one of her Oscar-winning performances... but I can't find any photos of her dancing with George Segal anywhere. Go to approx 2:21 here to watch the scene.) (NOTE: may trigger, etc.)

Feminists will enjoy the verbal bitch-slap of snotty sexist Laurence Harvey at 3:12. (From Butterfield 8, her first Oscar!)

Behold your QUEEN!

It doesn't matter, she was just lookin at you

Main Street, Greenville SC.


Listen to how purty this sounds, particularly the harmonies entwining the line, "You might need her someday, you might need her someday"--sounds just like angels.

All that blather yesterday about bisexuality brought the song "It doesn't matter" back into my consciousness, so I went looking for it. And by gum, there it was. Some VERY YOUNG PERSON with excellent musical taste posted it on YouTube. (You classic rock kids are GEMS, didya know that? I could kiss all of you.)

I seem to remember the original, by Stephen Stills and Manassas. The guitar lines have been lifted wholesale; Stills had major guitar chops. But I confess, I prefer this glitzy pop version that I heard on the radio... and of course, this is the version that perfectly matches my memories. (Some nostalgia just makes you ache, particularly at the year's end.)

Thanks for the song! And I hope you all enjoy it.

~*~

It doesn't matter - Firefall

Odds and Sods - End of Year edition

From the Orange County Register, Pastor Rick Warren floats angelically... next up, he WALKS on water, too!

~*~

Lots of stuff to check out! I hardly know where to begin.



First, on the Pastor Rick Warren follies, as I have come to regard them...Mona Charen, right wing crackpot in good standing, offers the following (quite amazing) observation:

What particularly outraged gay rights activists was a comment Warren made in a TV interview when he compared two homosexuals getting married to a brother marrying a sister or an adult marrying a child. Those were not the most felicitous comparisons and probably unnecessarily hurt the feelings of gays and lesbians.

And yet, the point Warren was making was a valid one. Once you abandon the traditional definition of marriage to suit the feelings on an interest group, by what principle do you stop redefining marriage? Gays and lesbians argue that their same-sex unions are loving, committed relationships. Fine. But there are, or could be, other loving, committed relationships involving more than two people. Supporters of gay marriage say this is a ridiculous slippery slope argument.

But consider the name that many gay activists have adopted. You no longer see gay and lesbian alone. Instead, the new terminology is LGBT — lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender. Lesbians and gays say that without gay marriage, they cannot fully express themselves as they really are. But what about bisexuals? I ask this not to poke fun or to hurt anyone’s feelings, but in all seriousness. How does gay marriage help a bisexual? I assume that if you are bisexual, you believe that you need to have sexual relationships with both men and women. If you are a bisexual man married to a woman, don’t you need to break the marriage bond to express your bisexuality? If you choose to express just the homosexual side of your bisexuality, then aren’t you gay? Likewise, if you choose to express only the heterosexual side, how are you a bisexual? Why is bisexuality not a recipe for infidelity? As for transgender people who believe that they are “assigned” to the wrong sex, their sexuality seems a deeply complicated matter. According to Wikipedia, the term “transgender,” which is always evolving, today encompasses “many overlapping categories — these include cross-dresser (CD); transvestite (TV); androgynes; genderqueer; people who live cross-gender; drag kings; and drag queens; and, frequently, transsexual (TS).” We are now in the realm of a multitude of sexual deviances.

Well, as a bisexual, let me say that I don't see why I am thus COMMANDED to infidelity. Huh? (I wrote about some of these issues in my piece on Bisexual Invisibility.)

The common-sense reason bisexuals are in favor of gay marriage is in the event that we fall in love with a same-gendered person (rather than an opposite-gendered person), we would probably like to marry them.

Is that really such a complicated matter?

And Mona has unwittingly let the cat out of the bag, hasn't she? This ultra-scary GENDER CONFUSION (of Mona's) and her pearl-clutching fear that people's sexual identities are just spewing out all over the place--unrestrained, every which-way, chaos reigns!!-- is the real problem. BARBARIANS AT THE GATES, seems to be Mona's almost-hysterical message, and if we grant them the right of gay marriage, everyone will be changing sex all over the place. ((((screams!))))

If all of this bothers Mona, we must be doing something right.

~*~

I didn't know that the author of The Bitten Apple had been a student of Hugo Schwyzer, whom she says was always very open to her as a right wing student. This granted her the necessary freedom to listen to his opposing views respectfully; she did not feel she was under siege. Her process is fascinating:

One of the reasons I disliked my creative writing professor last quarter was because he was so blunt in saying how “hateful” and basically stupid conservatives are. Being liberal in your politics does not necessarily mean that you are open-minded. He asked the class one day, “Are there any really religious people in here?” Obviously, I couldn’t raise my hand, because I would be such a killjoy, so I just shut up and let him talk about how there is “no big guy in the sky” and how “a 2,000 year old dead guy is not going to come back from the dead.” I was pissed. My voice was silenced. One of the reasons I like Obama is because he does not automatically deem the other side stupid, ignorant, or hate-filled.

Several months ago, while I was taking that creative writing class, I realized exactly what made me so upset about that professor. It wasn’t entirely his politics, to be sure. I reflected upon my own journey from being a fundamentalist, Mel Gibson type Catholic into a relatively socially liberal feminist, thanks largely to the women’s studies course I took back in spring 2006. Hugo, my professor and mentor, was and still is much more liberal than I am. Regardless, he always accepts me at whatever stage I am at in my spiritual journey. He accepted me when I was a staunch pro-life, anti-gay marriage 19-year-old student. He was empathetic with me when I was contemplating losing my virginity, knowing how much my virginity meant to me. And he accepts me now. Had I had a women’s studies professor who merely wrote off the conservative perspective, I likely would not have been receptive to the class and might not have embraced feminism to the extent that I have today. In order for me to break out of my ultra-conservative worldview, I needed someone to empathize - but not necessarily agree - with my position at the time.

Also check out her post on Jessica Valenti's upcoming book, The Purity Myth.

~*~

Palmetto state native Eartha Kitt (from whom Madonna stole "Santa Baby," right down to the baby-talk phrasing) has passed on. She was a fabulous singer, but baby-boomers undoubtedly remember her best as Julie Newmar's replacement as Catwoman on the old 60s Batman TV show (featuring hizzoner, Adam West).

In addition, Majel Barrett Roddenberry has also died.

Unfortunately, Nurse Chapel never got to bed the enigmatic Mr Spock, but we were all rooting for her!



~*~

A CALL FOR ACTION ON TRANS RIGHTS IN TENNESSEE:

For Immediate Release: Dated December 27, 2008
Another Transgender Woman Shot in Memphis

On Christmas Eve, a Memphis television station reported the shooting of Leeneshia Edwards in Memphis. She becomes the third transgender woman shot in Memphis in just six months. At last report, Leeneshia is in critical condition. We extend our hopes and prayers to Leenashia for a speedy recovery.

We also ask for anyone with any information about this latest crime to call Memphis Crimes Stoppers at (901)528-CASH.

The shooting of Leeneshia Edwards helps shed light on a disturbing trend in Memphis. Transgender women who work in the sex industry in order to survive are now being targeted by a pervasive culture of violence.

The indifferent attitude of law enforcement towards the February 16, 2006, murder of Tiffany Berry, and the February 12, 2008, beating of Duanna Johnson by Memphis Police Department officers, has sent a message that the lives of transgender people are not important. This has fed the culture of violence that has permeated the second half of 2008, and is exemplified by the July 1 murder of Ebony Whitaker, the July 28 murder of Dre-Ona Blake, a two year old girl who was killed by the man who had previously been charged with the murder of Tiffany Berry, but was allowed to walk free for two and a half years, the November 9 murder of Duanna Johnson, and now the shooting of Leeneshia Edwards.

This open season on transgender people in Memphis and elsewhere, regardless of whether or not they engage in sex work, must come to an end right now.

Read the rest of the press release at Questioning Transphobia. And to donate, go to Tennessee Transgender Political Coalition.

~*~

I watched a boat-load of movies over the holidays... most chosen by the intrepid Mr Daisy, who knows I am too exhausted to rub two brain cells together while I am busily toiling in the Christmas retail trenches. He chose some great movies, but my favorite was The Good Shepherd (2006). It brought back that strongly-paranoid Cold War vibe that many of us were raised with. Directed by Robert DeNiro, lots of critics found it long and tedious, but I found it tightly-wound and terribly unnerving, like the old Mission Impossible TV show could be, at its very best.

Trailer:




Hope everyone has great plans for the New Year!

Odds and Sods - last debate edition

A self-defined radical lesbian feminist writer named Julie Bindel has been nominated for a Stonewall award. The problem with this person is her hateful writing against transgendered people. Why has she been nominated? Did they even READ her work first?

I won't link her nastiness here, but Lisa at Questioning Transphobia (previous link) has chronicled it well. She proclaims "a world inhabited just by transsexuals" would look like the set of GREASE. Not sure I get that, but hey, that rhetoric reminds me of various offensive shit I heard growing up. Is the whole world clamoring to transition? We must POLICE the gender-borders to insure people aren't illegally crossing over! She sounds like she believes trans people are a GATEWAY DRUG! Or maybe it's the Domino Theory as applied to gender: First you let them transition and .... the whole world will want to do it!!! And then the whole world will look like GREASE!!!!!!

It's the Cold War all over again.

A Facebook group has been formed expressly for the purpose of protesting Bindel's nomination, and Bindel herself has joined it to "monitor" the "harassment" being directed at her persecuted personage. Yes, she has even barged into the group formed to talk about her, taking it over to defend herself! Some people really do amaze me in their abject cluelessness. A good lesson in how NOT to behave, is yours for free, so go over to Lisa's and read.

Momentary digression: I find Facebook distracting in a way I don't find regular blogs. Maybe it's because my eye is "trained" to read blogs, while Facebook seems like a free-for-all with too much going on. It's like when I used to have penpals and exchange "slam books" by mail in my youth--did anyone else do that, waaaaay before the advent of computers? It was terribly distracting, since I would end up writing book-length letters to people I barely knew...it was a lot like blogging!

And so, my attention is majorly diverted, particularly when there are lots of attractive people around of varying genders, all looking fabulous, as if they are dressed up to go see Iggy Pop. (I'd name names, but that would be rude.) Suffice to say, I end up going over to their blogs, Flickr accounts and suchlike, to see more pics and read about their interesting activities. FUN! But yes, as I said, distracting.

~*~

Christina Hendricks heats up the office on MAD MEN, photo from The Way of the Future.


And speaking of bisexuality (nice segue, yes?), my new celebrity crush is Christina Hendricks of MAD MEN, whom some of my fellow Scifi geeks will recall from the cult-series Firefly. I first saw her in one of those Lifetime TV-movies about anorexia, titled Hunger Point. Admittedly, I really enjoyed the movie, in a daytime-soapsuds sort of way... and then I see her on MAD MEN looking exceedingly VOLUPTUOUS, and I wondered if the movie had any influence on that fact, or was she cast in Hunger Point primarily for that reason?

Christina Hendricks' character is the fabulous Joan Holloway, who sizzles even (especially?) when she is firing some poor, hapless, weeping secretary... I don't mind telling you: I would LOVE to be fired by Joan! ("Hey, no problem, girlfriend, this job sucks. Can we get together for coffee later?") Interestingly and predictably, there is a lot of talk about her weight. Googling her name and the word "weight"--however, I see that there are lots of folks who feel just like I do, starved for a woman with real CURVES on TV. Since MAD MEN is set in 1962, it is completely historically accurate and realistic that a Marilyn-Monroesque woman would be the office diva. (In one episode, Joan and her typing pool sob after learning of Marilyn's death.)

Nonetheless, Christina's ample form has attracted attention from many quarters:

Christina Hendricks as Joan on "Mad Men" could single-handedly bring back hips. Real hips. The kind that will send a skinny man skittering across a dance floor. And I must admit that my jaw still drops when she sashays on screen with a rump as big as a holiday ham. My first reaction is always: She's huge! What a silly reaction to a woman who is probably a size 8 or 10.

Then I realize that most leading women on TV, such as Holly Hunter and Teri Hatcher, are pipe cleaners, and so I never expect to see prime-time zaftig. It's as odd to me as a virgin martini. Frankly, I am so accustomed to seeing protruding hipbones that I have to adjust my own visual definition of what is womanly. That's pretty screwed up, in fact.

Yes, I'd say so.

Well, not me, people! MORE CHRISTINA, MORE CHRISTINA! Christina, 24/7!

~*~

And finally, as everyone knows, the last presidential debate between the two candidates, Senators Barack Obama and John McCain, was last night. Working my ass off and preparing for retail inventory, I scurried in only towards the last half, and found myself staying up late to watch the debate rerun on MSNBC.

(When it comes to politics, some of us are just plain junkies.)

I gotta ask: Is there STILL any question who should win? Who isn't ready to bomb-bomb-bomb-bomb-bomb Iran? Which person is more thoughtful, careful, cautious? I don't want someone in the Oval Office who is eager to nuke other countries at the drop of a hat, you know? McCain's vengeful, angry, warmongering vibe radiated off the screen, in countless ways.

Barack Obama deserves major credit for not rising to the trash-Sarah-Palin bait...at first I thought he should let her have it, but after various commentators congratulated him on his cool and restraint, I realized, no, his instincts were perfect. (That's just what I would have done.) He is too smooth and smart to cave in to that pettiness.

Just think how EXCELLENT he will be on the world stage.

Novenas in triplicate for my favorite Chicago politician, ascending to heaven as we speak.

More:

Debate III: Edgy McCain sheds no new light (Politico)

Put McCain out of his Misery (Huffington Post)

John McCain: Openly scoffing at your Health (Feministe)

Thank You, Right Wing Pundits (Daily Kos)

So much for McCain's outreach to women voters (Crooks and Liars)

Obama Three for Three: Short Takes on the Final Presidential Debate (AlterNet)

And McCain's "regular American"--Joe the Plumber--presented to us for our ongoing edification? Turns out to be an unlicensed plumber and tax evader.

Well, what did we expect? John McCain has had problems choosing his friends ever since the Keating Five scandal.

Dead Air Church - I'll be your mirror

If you've never seen Nan Goldin's collection of photographs by the same name, it would serve you well to find them. They are perfectly joined to this song, in my mind. Once you see them, they will be forever connected in your head also. She is amazingly talented.

If you've never seen the movie loosely based on Goldin's life (High Art), please check that out too. Wikipedia says the photos in the movie were based on Goldin's, not really commenting directly on the story itself. (Ally Sheedy, Patricia Clarkson and Radha Mitchell are all quite outstanding as the lead trio!) I've seen the movie maybe, what, a dozen times? (Trailer included below.) I always get something new out of it every time. If you have ever been emotionally involved with an addict (as lover OR friend) this is required viewing; consider it as important as your reading list about co-dependency. (Nan Goldin's first showing/book of photos was titled The Ballad of Sexual Dependency, not surprisingly.)

The lyrics of this song (by Lou Reed) are childlike, sweet, and filled with love. This is what Lou felt for Nico. We know that Nico's life was often tortured and unpleasant, may her soul rest in peace. (Also recommended: Nico Icon) Hers was not a happy life.

Although we can reflect those we love, it is no guarantee they will see themselves as we see them. All we have is our attempt to show them what we see. This song reflects that aching desire, so perfectly.

The desire to be the light on the door, to show that they're home.


~*~

I'll be your mirror
Reflect what you are
in case you don't know
I'll be the wind, the rain and the sunset
The light on your door
to show that you're home

When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
cause I see you

I find it hard to believe you don't know
The beauty that you are
But if you don't let me be your eyes
A hand in your darkness
so you won't be afraid

When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
cause I see you

I'll be your mirror

~*~

The Velvet Underground & Nico - I'll be your mirror

[via FoxyTunes / The Velvet Underground]

Trailer - High Art (1998)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIZABETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

I'm not sure why I started blogging. I know I unequivocally decided to blog on Postmenopausal Day, but I'm not sure why. Am I wasting my time? Probably. All I have to show for my blogging are some nasty emails from Bob Jones University, an increased knowledge of html (I think I'm up to the average 14-year-old, by now, at least) and a handful of great New York expressions from BelleDame (which really impress my friends). Does anyone read this? Well, Sitemeter says a few dedicated folks actually do, so I charge onward, boring the masses (okay, a tiny fraction of the masses) with my postmenopausal, post-hippie existence.

Thank the Lord for Halloween, or should I say, thank the pagans! (Thanks, yall!) Currently sipping some yummy, decadent Fresh Market Pumpkin Spice coffee, which I am aware is not bird-friendly, free trade OR organic, and so, Catholic Guilt and Shame (herein known as CGAS) accompanies my warm and tingly Halloween-Autumn vibe. (Alas, there is no escape from Searching and Fearless Moral Inventories, whether we ever really wanted them or not.) My TV is tuned to the lovely Adrienne Barbeau, ex-wife of John Carpenter, who bravely battles The Fog, and I am comforting myself that at least I am not in a horror movie. Although if Dubya continues on his present course and destroys the world as we know it, we very well may be, so this is a form of meditation and preparation. Horror movies explain what NOT to do in life, and this one reminds us to stay out of the fog.

Speaking of fog, I have several foggy things on the agenda for the week, so stay tuned, fight fans.

~*~

There I was yesterday, re-stocking amino acids and having an existential dilemma about blogging (see above), when Ron Paul Guy (herein known as RPG) approaches me to ask if I am going to the gay movie. Gay movie? BOYS IN THE BAND? BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN? THE CHILDREN'S HOUR? (*nods to Belledame*)

RPG just rolled his eyes, as he usually does when I don't know what is happening. NO, the GAY MOVIE, titled For the Bible tells me so. It's the Soulforce gang again! There is going to be a counter-demonstration!

A counter-demonstration of a MOVIE? Oh, God. I refer everyone to the videos I posted on Tuesday. I was morally exempt (I told myself) from the April Soulforce demo because I was already scheduled to work. However, I will not be scheduled to work during this movie. Oh, God. Well, I said, under the laser-beam glare of RPG's eyes, I guess I will go.

And then, late last night, sitting with local Deadheads on their shadowy terrace, beautifully lit by green light, crystal wind-chimes that spin rainbows in the dark, and candles that illuminated their jungle-like maze of plants, I said, again: Yes! I will go and blog about it! They were very supportive. Deadheads rule, always.

And now, I am committed to doing this. And frankly, I don't want to. It's the kind of thing that if I weren't blogging, I'd find a reason to put off. But now, I feel I have to Witness to the Truth, and all like that.

RPG enthusiastically agreed, and then informed me I had to go see Ron Paul on November 1, which also has the distinction of being All Saints Day. Since I pointedly missed my last Holy Day of Obligation (see CGAS above), I have to go this time. (I'm also gonna try to make All Souls Day, which many of you know as Day of the Dead.) I guess Ron Paul can fit into my All Saints Day itinerary. I am not voting for him and there is plenty about his politics that I intensely dislike, but I was so impressed by how he shook up the last somnambulist GOP debate with some righteous fury over Iraq, I figure I can mosey on over to Pleasantburg Drive and tell him so. I'm also curious about who else might show up. More demonstrators? Positive? Negative?

And then there is the gay movie.

Leading the counter-demonstrators will likely be Badass Preacher Man (herein known as BPM). He is, in fact, in one of the aformentioned videos I posted. He knows me through my work, and he likes me. Yeah, I know what you are thinking. How could this man who preaches like a lunatic-on-cocaine actually like me? I dunno, but I can honestly say, if I had never seen him preach, I'd unreservedly like him, too. BPM literally has two personalities: a sweet, kindly southern gentleman and then, well, see for yourself. I've always known this, since he's been a local Religious-Right fixture for years, and has been prominently featured on numerous national newsclips as well, feverishly preaching against sodomy. And yet, he has been very sweet and friendly to me.

If I show up at the gay movie, will that change? I don't mind telling you, that makes me nervous. I don't know why, but it does. I would like to keep business, religion and politics all separate, but as you all know, life doesn't usually work that way, does it? Perhaps I like him more than I am willing to admit. Hopefully, his fondness for me will carry the day, too?

And what will happen if it does? I can tell you what: a day or so later, when BPM has calmed down, he is likely to ask me why I was there. He knows I am married, a grandmother even. He has no idea.

Should I tell? We are back to the bisexuality question. I am fixin to have a 20th wedding anniversary this month. Bisexuality doesn't even seem relevant, but of course, it is; it is who I am. Should I be honest? I have never told anyone who might be hostile; I've never had to. This will be a first. And even though most old-school southerners would never ask, BPM will ask, since he does like me and will consider my soul in jeopardy.

It's a hairy situation. What's a mother to do?

Of course, I know. At this stage of my life, I will have to tell the truth. I no longer have the wherewithal, the temerity, the ability, to lie, to cover-up, to equivocate.

And then, what happens?

Stay tuned, fight fans. A fun All Saints Week awaits us.

----------------
Listening to: Social Distortion - Don't Drag Me Down
via FoxyTunes

Bisexual Invisibility

At left: from FUN HOME by Alison Bechdel.

I loved Alison Bechdel's fabulous graphic novel FUN HOME, but am I the only one who wondered why she labeled her father *gay* rather than bisexual? If someone has been married for decades, but still enjoys periodic sexual relationships with their own gender, to me, that makes them bisexual.

Perhaps because the parallel between her own (gay) sexuality and her father's became much more poignant and obvious; it makes for a great dramatic narrative. Nonetheless, as much as I adore the book, I feel as if the reality of bisexuality is ignored and downplayed, here as elsewhere.

Why does this happen? Does bisexuality cause people to feel disoriented? Too many possibilities? Or are we simply accustomed to either/or thinking?

Other questions I have pondered lately: If someone is legally married for a long time, yet has a few gay afffairs, why are they then considered gay, instead of "heterosexual who likes a few gay afffairs"? If it were the reverse, they WOULD be considered "homosexual who likes a few straight affairs." This brings to mind the infamous racial "one-drop rule" of days past. The one drop rule held that "one drop of black blood" whether it be 1/2 or 1/16, makes a person black, period. The underlying concept of the one drop rule was that whiteness is purity.

I think we have a *one drop rule* as applied to heterosexuality. ONE POSITIVE OR ENJOYABLE GAY RELATIONSHIP (or encounter) makes one gay; again, the underlying concept is that heterosexuality is purity and can therefore be sullied and ruined.

Bisexuality messes up the binary and the *one drop rule.* Therefore, people just sort of tune it out.

~*~*~*~*~

Other questions: If you are bisexual and monogamous, do you ever stop saying you are? If one has been monogamous for a decade, one is assumed to be gay or straight, depending on the gender of your partner. Do you ever "correct" people who make these assumptions? After so long, does it even make any sense to correct people? Why should we? Do you ever feel foolish doing that?

And several transpeople are now reading my blog, so I'd love for you to weigh in here. I have noticed many transfolks are bisexual, so please jump in: Do your partners ever get neurotic over their own sexuality and whether they are gay or straight?

Do you think bisexuality automatically means polyamory or the possiblity of threesomes to many people? Bisexuals are presented as fickle, immature cheaters in a lot of TV shows and movies (thinking now of SIX FEET UNDER); how can we "rehabilitate" the bisexual image in media, for instance?

Discuss!