12-12-12

... was yesterday! I attended the Feast Day Mass for Our Lady of Guadalupe at St Mary Magdalene in Simpsonville. (photos at left) Liturgical dancing, mariachi music and singing, and they even gave us roses. It was a lovely celebration, which I have greatly missed attending.

The spiritual significance of 12-12-12 is purported to be that it is a 'preparation' day for the upcoming cosmic day of 12-21-12. I figured if the Mayans are indeed in charge of the end of the world (although this would appear to be a gross oversimplification of their astrological calendar), then I should go talk to Our Lady of Guadalupe, since that area of the world is her specific geographic purview and under her protection.

Like I always say, you can't be too careful.





More about the end of the world:

Doomsday Phobia Grows As World Awaits December 21, 2012 (Huffington Post)

Mayan End Age 12-21-2012 heralds a New Age of spiritual enlightenment (adishakti.org)

What Sources Say We’ll Ascend on Dec. 21, 2012? (The 2012 Scenario)

The Numerology of 2012 (2012 Spiritual Info)

2012 Predictions: Should You Be Worried? (About.com/Paganism/Wicca)

San Diegans prepare for Mayan doomsday: Mayan calendar ends on December 21, 2012 (10news.com)

Maya 2012 -Mayan Calendar, Mayan Prophecy and December 21 2012 (Maya 2012)

Top Destinations (or States of Mind) for December 21, 2012 (Reality Sandwich)

2012 in Bible Prophecy (EndTimes Ministries)

End of the world, December 21, 2012, NASA says there is nothing to worry about (WPTV.com)

Will the World end on 21 December? (PM News Nigeria)

What's going to happen on December 21st 2012? (Cornell Astronomy)

~*~

It's The End of the World as We Know It - R. E. M.

Fat Tuesday reflections: When will we fall down?

I can't remember the last time I did not go to Ash Wednesday Mass. Can't remember. Must have been the 80s. Really.

The photo is from last year, when I already didn't believe in what I was doing. Why was I there? Habit. The sublime order of the liturgical year, which is encoded in my DNA somewhere. My body even seems attuned to it. I have often complained (like in comments on this endless thread from 2009) that I find it impossible to leave the Church.

And of course it isn't impossible, but on some other level, of course it is. This is what I have trouble explaining to people.

Someone suggested that I replace the Christian rituals with Buddhist rituals. Alas, one of the things I am trying to expunge is clinging to ritual itself, which is exactly what I am trying to avoid. I have clung to rituals of some kind my whole life; rituals help me make sense of the passage of time, they help mark these passages in an introspective, moral fashion, examining my conscience. What, I would ask, have I done since last year? And the passage of time, these careful yearly markings, would cloak me in feelings of safety.

As one leaves the Church, this feeling evaporates. It is like you are exposed and naked; I get the unwelcome mental image of a naked woman (me) descending the steps of a huge and beautiful cathedral, completely defenseless and at the mercy of the elements. That is how it feels NOT to go to Ash Wednesday Mass, NOT to go to today's Fat Tuesday pancake suppers.

But I have a movie-series to tend to, I have other places I must be tomorrow. It is a lot like an old Twilight Zone episode--I know if I can go the entire 24 hours, I will have it in the bag. But this day, Ash Wednesday, is somehow even more compelling (to me) than Christmas or Easter, since it is about doing penance. Who will forgive me? And why am I so focused on forgiveness to the exclusion of other aspects of Christianity? These are questions it will take me years to answer... and I know the answers are not where I thought they were.

It is my task to answer them.

But first, must resist the hypnotic draw of the ashes.

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

~*~

And speaking of falling down, that made me think of Toad the Wet Sprocket, a band name that I immediately spotted as having been named after a Monty Python routine. At the time the song came out (1993), I was riveted by it. Years later, as it became something of an alt-rock staple, I decided it was about my daughter. Now, I realize that it was actually about me, stranded within Christianity (in what I now call my pseudo-Opus Dei period), trying so hard to conform and fit in with secular Carmelites and people like that. Who was I kidding?

And so, it is a perfect song for today, as well as today's blog title.

Toad the Wet Sprocket - Fall Down

Ashes to Ashes

Today, Ash Wednesday, I sat through the evening Mass thinking I really should figure out what religion I am.

Then again, I thought, I've gone this long, so what exactly is the hurry?

I love the unchanging nature of the Christian liturgical year. I also love the ritual of having ashes rubbed on my forehead, reminding me of the facts: that I came from dust and to dust I shall return. (Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.)

I like the Season of Lent (and the attendant concept of denial, fasting and spiritual spring-cleaning) to properly prepare for the feast, happiness and celebrations that late spring and summer often bring, with so many weddings and graduations and vacations and religious holidays. We can't have one without the other. Our culture attempts to deny us the truth of Lent and deferred gratification, since modern consumerist capitalism demands it. We are constantly exhorted to buy and consume more and more STUFF. The state of "perpetual Easter" (lots of hoopla) is forced on us... then everyone wonders why everything is so emotionally out of whack. Mass depression has been the mass result of our estrangement from the yearly-rhythms of the ages.

These are the religious traditions I come from, understand and know best. On some level, revisiting them is always like visiting home. For those of us old enough to have lost our families and childhood homes, the church becomes the default home. This tends to be true whether we want it to be true or not. It just is.

Hope you had a happy Ash Wednesday!

~*~


Ashes to Ashes - David Bowie

Odds and Sods: End of 2010 Edition

Hey you crazy kidz, hope you all have a great New Years celebration planned. And resolutions, lots and lots of good-hearted resolutions, that make us feel all warm and fuzzy (at least until we break them).

This year has seen DEAD AIR's lowest number of blog posts ever, and one of my resolutions is to post more, even if the posts are short. I don't have to turn everything into a damn epistle! But alas, old habits die hard.

The important thing is the HABIT, I have discovered. If you let a few days go by without writing, well... it's easier to let a few MORE days go by... and finally, you aren't writing at all. That's how it initially happened to me some years ago, when I went long periods (like, years) without writing. I missed chronicling some very important, earth-shattering events, and I now greatly mourn the loss. (We can't remember everything we were thinking/doing ten years ago, even if we believe we do; I re-read parts of this blog from only three years ago and I am astounded at the details I have forgotten already.) I decided I wouldn't let that happen again, but this year, I nearly did.

As many of you know, my spiritual center (so to speak) was re-centered (so to speak), and I found it hard to adequately convey my thoughts and feelings around the shift in sensibility. I still find it very difficult, and I am largely unable to write sensibly about leaving the Church. It remains a jumble of emotions and I need to let it all settle, before I attempt to go there. I have about a half-dozen unfinished posts regarding sudden realizations I have had, re: Christianity and identifying as Christian. For one thing, a loss of respectability, that 1) I didn't know I had and 2) didn't know I valued. Some of this respectability is social, some political, and some is self-respect, and that last one is the one that caught me off guard.

I still identify as a Catholic in a social/ethnic way, and that is also very hard to quantify. I am not sure I even understand what it means, but it is simply true.

And so, forward into another year...

~*~

Two of Cravin Melon, but not sure which two! (They introduced themselves as "2/5 of Cravin Melon" at the Earth Fare benefit for Harvest Hope Food Bank, Thanksgiving Eve.)

~*~

DEAD AIR almost got through a whole year without a troll invasion, but last night, there they were, scurrying out from under all kinds of rocks. (((screams)))

I am currently waiting for the cops to arrive to arrest me for not deleting the troll's angry posts (!), as I have been assured they are on the way.

Today, I drove home at breakneck pace and the only thing I found was two florescent light bulbs outside my door, to install in the kitchen. *sigh* No cops. No subpoena. No indictment. Galdurnit! (as my late uncle liked to say) It appears I got all my hopes up for nothing.

I was planning a really JAZZY end-of-year post about Freedom of Speech and blogging, complete with trolls sending me to jail after posting their addresses on my blog (seriously, read the link)... but nah. I was also hopeful that this would be a big First Amendment case, endearing me to all of Blogdonia (and bringing me thousands of hits, of course), but it all turned out to be just another annoying pain in the ass.

~*~

Tyler Ramsey at the Bohemian Cafe in Greenville, December 4th. His musical compatriots, BAND OF HORSES, have just been nominated for a Grammy award, which he called "Some crazy news!" It certainly is!

Congrats on the nomination, Tyler, and good luck. (Apologies for the blurry photo, but it was kinda dark in there.)

~*~

I did want to link a few people who posted especially interesting, fun and/or very readable stuff that I didn't get to highlight previously:

:: How do I feel about the recent lift of the ban on openly gay soldiers (i.e. Don't ask, don't tell)? Truthfully? I hate when still another group gets turned into cannon fodder. Suzan sums up my feelings perfectly in the title of her piece: To the Gay Community: Now That You Can Join the Military, Please Don’t!

:: Renegade Evolution meets the Furries... great stuff: You’re going to Baltimore? You might need…

:: Jon shared this one with me: The Professional Left Versus The Left of Us. Money quote:

But to some the fascism warned of in all those faint allusions to totalitarian horrors already exists and the death camp trains have been running for decades with barely a peep from the professional liberals. Should we care about Obama’s failure to close Guantanamo when he never felt pressure enough to even lie about wanting to shut down the Corrections Corporation of America? Prisons and the racist legislation, hyper-policing, brutality and fraudulent judicial system that keep them filled are among the nation’s biggest businesses. Joblessness and poverty continue to worsen and even the tens of thousands dying from war abroad are more than matched by the deaths in this country resulting from public policies which deny adequate housing, food and health care to millions.

Preach it, preach it!

:: Skepchick: Eating Disorders, the Media, and Skepticism.

:: AMERICA: Y UR PEEPS B SO DUM? Ignorance and courage in the age of Lady Gaga by Joe Bageant. Required reading for every culture warrior!

Yellowdog Granny's recent funnies! It's where I found the comic on the left.



Speaking of which, I've been a loyal REAL HOUSEWIVES fan since day one, but this year, I was pretty disappointed in the newest incarnation: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Boring, predictable, with no authentic or amusingly-outrageous neurosis at all, just garden-variety, high-tax-bracket narcissism. Narcissism without neurosis is just... narcissism. Neurosis, however, is what makes the world go round! (We crave copious tearful, self-centered confessions about how no one understands what they go through!!!!) The Bev Hills gang doesn't have enough self-pity to suit me... or it could be that they've had SO MUCH BOTOX they are totally unable to move their faces (the husbands too!) and as a result, cry with their eyes wide open. And that just doesn't pull at my heartstrings in the same way.

If you can't even scrunch up your face and cry like the rest of us, fuck you.

:: Media Matters: 15 Whoppers [Glenn] Beck did not get fired for in 2010. (My first thought: What?! ONLY 15?)

:: Sheila instructs us in Relearning how to breathe. As a customer service rep, I would often notice that my breathing would get all raggedy and strange, after an hour or so of getting my ass chewed out non-stop. I would take a few seconds and concentrate on breathing in and out, and I was amazed at the difference in my state of mind, my countenance, my inner calm.

:: Mia Mingus shares her feelings about November 6, the anniversary of her adoption. This is her recorded birthday, but of course, not really her birthday. I had never really stopped to consider the fact that most adoptees do not know their actual birthdays:

I hate the confusion that surrounds my birthday now. People constantly getting confused, “so which birthday do you celebrate?” “When is your real birthday?” Since finding out the truth, I would rather deny my birthday all together, no celebrations, no worries about what or how birthdays are supposed to feel to someone who does not even know how to think of her own birth. It only marks another year that I have spent separated from pieces of myself that may or may not even exist; pieces of my self that made me, created me, but don’t know me now. It only marks a deep sadness at having celebrated something that was so wrong for so long, something that wasn’t real, the way sometimes entire decades of my life have felt.

Beautiful, expressive writing.

:: My always-embarrassing senator, Tea Party busybody Jim DeMint, has just revealed himself to be a starstruck fanboy, gushing to Politico that Sarah Palin has "done more for the Republican Party than anyone since Ronald Reagan," -- apparently with a straight face, too.

As they say, those two need to get a room.

~*~

And now (((drum roll))) DEAD AIR VIDEO OF THE YEAR... as always, my criteria is the same: Which one did I listen to the most after I initially posted it?

Ohhh, that's an easy call. I must have listened to this five thousand times by now. (As I said back in April, all due to the wonders of modern technology!)

Cleo's Mood - Junior Walker and the All Stars



HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Have a fabulous 2011!

*Photos from my FLICKR page*

Mary Daly 1928-2010

Photo of Mary Daly from Trivia: Voices of Feminism.





Not just any feminist's passing gets mentioned on NPR. Not just any feminist's passing is noted by the National Catholic Reporter:

Feminist theologian Mary Daly died January 3. She was a radical feminist philosopher, academic, and theologian who taught at Boston College for 33 years. Daly consented to retire from Boston College in 1999, after violating university policy by refusing to allow male students in her Women's Studies classroom.

Her books included Beyond God the Father; Gyn/Ecology: The Metaethics of Radical Feminism; Pure Lust: Elemental Feminist Philosophy and Webster’s First New Intergalactic Wickedary of the English Language.

Intergalactic was most assuredly the word. She wasn't quite on the same planet as the rest of us.

I didn't like her.

Kittywampus wrote a very good obituary, and this was my comment at her blog:

Daly did irreparable harm to feminism with her essentialism and transphobia, and we are still dealing with the fallout. As a Catholic, I believe she did irreparable harm to Catholic women who sought to reform the Church; she advised radical women to withdraw from it, leaving the liberal women who preferred to stay, twisting slowly, slowly in the wind. (I notice she didn’t advise them to withdraw from other patriarchal structures such as, um, academia.) In her later books like Pure Lust, she was positively hateful to any feminists who did not follow her out of the Church, but instead chose to stay and fight. Her way or the highway.

She was SO arrogant she did not even respond to Audre Lorde’s Open Letter To Mary Daly, which charged Daly with colonialism. I found it interesting that she simply ignored Lorde, rather as the males in the Church ignored Daly… she imitated the exact behavior that she criticized men for elsewhere.

Following the dictum “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”–I have decided not to write an obit for Daly. Considering the way she ignored Lorde and encouraged [Janice] Raymond, I’ve decided she doesn’t deserve one from a practicing Catholic. (She wouldn’t want one from a hopelessly-tainted woman such as me anyway. In Pure Lust she announced we were “imitation males”.)

I always thought it was weird that she railed against Churchly segregation of women, then went ahead and tried to keep men out of her classes. Like they say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

This is my last word on Daly. Comments welcome, but please keep it civil.

Religious appropriation, revisited

Infant of Prague and Sacred Heart of Jesus candles are from my Flickr page.




I have written of religious appropriation before, and how very difficult it is to define. It usually starts some pretty good arguments, so let's get down to business!

I recently discovered someone on Twitter named phyrecracker, who believes Westerners practicing yoga is a racist act. She doesn't simply propose the idea, she endorses it as a fact.

Some of her tweets:

I need 2 say again: if u participate in the fuckery of yoga, our religious practice, Kali Ma will shit on you. Consider yourself warned.[1]

I'd like to c ppl RT that flaming morsel of truth rather than the pretty white smiling families

I'm sure she'll be happy she got a whole blog post, rather than a simple RT (retweet).

[to the woman practicing yoga] last thing: 4 u and any1 else who does this wack ass white ppl yoga know that u cannot achieve inner peace on a basis of racism

sweep the criticism of the Indian under the rug while you go enjoy the religious practice that white ppl steal from us

Hm.

I tried this on for size, to see how it fit...especially with Christmas looming over the horizon:

I need 2 say again: if u participate in the fuckery of Christmas, our religious practice, Mother Mary will shit on you. Consider yourself warned.[2]

Interesting.

Of course, they will then say nothing is authentically Catholic... they will say we "appropriated" Mary from an amalgam of European goddesses, too. But of course, we can continue that particular game back to the beginning of time, can't we?

Who's on First?

I am disturbed by phyrecracker's comments because I actually adhered to some version of them myself once. As I've written before, I briefly passed through a rather hard-core Catholic phase (for me, anyway), during which I became furious when (for example) non-Catholics would listen to Mozart's Requiem Mass in D Minor... and when atheists or anti-Catholics listened? It would send me through the roof.

And if they actually PLAYED the music, as in, played instruments in an orchestra? LIVID. It enraged me, exactly as phyrecracker is enraged. I felt the appropriation and I felt the disrespect: IT'S A MASS, do you know what a MASS IS? It's a HOLY PRACTICE, THE REAL PRESENCE OF GOD ALMIGHTY... it is not simple entertainment, you fucks! Etc etc etc and I would inevitably hold forth in a most self-righteous fashion. (Dead Air regulars probably have some inkling of what that sounded like.)

And damn, I remember how good that felt.

I often wish I could corral me some good old-fashioned fundamentalist self-righteousness these days... but I seem to be all about compromise. (I always heard this happened when you got old! Shades of GRAY predominate, God help me!) Now, you could play the Requiem Mass in a strip club and I wouldn't raise an eyebrow. (And if the stripper in question was creative enough to DRESS like Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart? I'd likely enjoy it myself.)

Seriously, though... at least once every Christmas season I am somewhat peeved when I see non-Christians singing OUR songs and participating in OUR holiday. [3]

But you know, that's how it is in our global times; I don't assume everyone who eats Halloween candy is a pagan. I don't assume everyone who participates in Thanksgiving dinner, believes the accompanying just-so story about pilgrims and Native Americans sitting down to a common meal together, giving thanks to God/Great Spirit. I don't assume everyone who paints Easter eggs is pagan OR Christian. Some of them just want to paint eggs. The egg-painting has no additional meaning if the person painting them is simply doing this for the kids' Easter egg hunt. Playing Beethoven, Bach, Schubert and other classical music originally written for the Church, does not make you a Christian. Even though this music was created as part of Mass/Eucharistic Adoration/Benediction, most musicians nowadays (and certainly, most musicians in non-Western countries) play these pieces of music while not fully understanding what they are for and what they represent. And they can play them VERY WELL. Likewise, one can practice Yoga asanas without being religious too.

One can strike yoga poses, like musical notes, with no understanding, and still reach the desired goal. To the religious person, it may not seem exactly fair, but it is indeed so.

And does phyrecracker take December 25th off or eat candy canes? If so: How dare she participate in the fuckery of Christmas.

As one of my favorite Bible verses says, there is not one righteous, no, not one.

And what are your thoughts?



~*~



1) Kali Ma refers to the Hindu Goddess Kali.

2) A friend reading over this post offers the observation that Kali tends to be an avenging sort, while the Blessed Mother is not. In reply, I offer the fact that Mary has morphed to suit various purposes throughout the ages, including (a close second to Kali) Our Lady of Victory, popularized by scary Simon de Montfort during the Crusades.

3) Certain traditional hymns can set me off, such as Lo, How a Rose E'er Blooming or O come, O come, Emmanuel--both of which seem almost blasphemous in a shopping-mall setting. Any time I hear them outside of Church? Makes me ineffably sad.

Dead Air Church: All Saints Day

The following is a reprint from All Saints Day, 2007. I decided to reprint it when I realized I couldn't improve on it.




The Calling of Saint Matthew by Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio, Contarelli Chapel, San Luigi dei Francesi, Rome. (1599-1600)

~*~

I have always loved the look of stunned surprise on Matthew's face: Who, me?

And the guy next to him looks just as surprised: Who, him?

The tax collector???

Matthew, the tax collector, is in a dark room, with a bunch of men involved in a filthy, materialistic act: counting money. It's his job. The tax collector was more like a loan shark in those days, and worthy of resentment, if not outright hatred. He is sitting in a room with lowlifes, in short, men like himself. He is scrambling for his livelihood, one bright, shiny coin at a time. One of his compatriots is focused totally on the money, and ignores the light from the door; the only light in the painting.

He is being singled out. But the One singling him out is not, this time, the main subject of the painting. Matthew is, as he points to himself, the accompanying disbelief and shock clearly written on his face.

Which leads us to ask the obvious question: Why has He chosen him? Frankly, it makes no sense.

The painting has stayed with me throughout my life, since I first saw it. It has robbed me of sleep as often as it has comforted me. I have felt the echo: Who, me?

If you feel that a door was opened, light suddenly shown on you, and God Himself pointed to you, even for a millisecond, then you know the feeling. You know the feeling of St Matthew. You point at yourself, your shock eclipsing all else in that stretched-out, single moment in time: Why am I being singled out? It makes no sense.

And the people next to you, can be as incredulous as the man sitting next to Matthew: Who, her?

This painting was brought to us by a common brawler, in fact, a murderer. Caravaggio was not a nice guy:

An early published notice on him, dating from 1604 and describing his lifestyle some three years previously, tells how "after a fortnight's work he will swagger about for a month or two with a sword at his side and a servant following him, from one ball-court to the next, ever ready to engage in a fight or an argument, so that it is most awkward to get along with him."[1] In 1606 he killed a young man in a brawl and fled from Rome with a price on his head. In Malta in 1608 he was involved in another brawl, and yet another in Naples in 1609, possibly a deliberate attempt on his life by unidentified enemies. By the next year, after a career of little more than a decade, he was dead.

I like to think the sentiment is his, the feeling of having been called and not having a clue why: Does He know who I really am? Yes, He knows. That's why you've been called, because He knows.

For several hundreds of years now, we've been getting a twisted message, and it needs to be put right. Those of us who responded to this phenomenon (the bright light shining on us, the finger of God pointing and singling us out), believed we were not good enough. Our calling must be a mistake, or a delusion. For example, look at all of these people who claim to speak to God personally; they get all kinds of messages, and spelled out in E-N-G-L-I-S-H, too. Why can't I have some of that? If you've asked, you know that no answer is forthcoming, it is something you have to find the answer to, like a complicated word-problem. It is your life's work, to discover why. But first, you must believe. You must overcome the shock and the disbelief, the finger Matthew raises to his chest. All around him, the disbelief, and all around us, the same disbelief.

You may hear, for instance, that you are not truly called if you are a woman. (Lookit that room, all guys.) You may hear that you are not truly called if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered. You may hear that if you live in the wrong country, pay taxes to the wrong emperor, live under another creed or ideology, then no, it doesn't apply to you, and you must have been mistaken. The secular and nonspiritual world reduces the painting to The Baroque Period, and doesn't appreciate that some of us feel punched in the gut by it. Well, they say, it's because it's Art.

No, it is because the brawler, who felt unworthy, put a spiritual truth in the painting, for US, who also feel unworthy. He painted that for us. It was a tremendous gift, from another who was chosen, and didn't understand why. He is saying: this is what I can do, I can illustrate this feeling in my heart, with color and shadow. Now, you must go forth and do whatever YOU can do. Whoever and whatever you are, you must spread the Truth to all nations.

If you aren't sure what that Truth is, then you need to find it. You are charged with the truth, which will set you free.

And on All Saints Day, the day the Church formally honors saints, I have to remember that. ALL SAINTS: Tax collectors, publicans and sinners. I have to remember the people the Church has deliberately closed out. I have to remember all of the people who hate me. I have to remember everyone in the world, made in God's image, who have felt the strength of love and redemption in their life.

It's hard to do. I'd rather just count my money in the dark and be left alone.

But after you are singled out, it's impossible to forget, regardless of what comes after. That is what the eyes, the expression of Matthew tell us. It's not about you, anymore. Come, He said, I will make you fishers of men.

Have a great All Saints Day.

My priest advises penance for Obama vote

Father Jay Scott Newman

~*~


Possible secondary subtitle: What should Daisy do?

Italics in article below is mine.

Priest advises penance for Obama vote

Parishioners shouldn't take Communion until they do because of president-elect's abortion view, he says

By Ben Szobody • STAFF WRITER • November 13, 2008

The priest at St. Mary's Catholic Church in downtown Greenville has told parishioners that those who voted for Barack Obama placed themselves under divine judgment because of his stance on abortion and shouldn't receive Holy Communion until they've done penance.

The Rev. Jay Scott Newman told The Greenville News on Wednesday that church teaching doesn't allow him to refuse Holy Communion to anyone based on political choices, but that he'll continue to deliver the church's strong teaching on the "intrinsic and grave evil of abortion" as a hidden form of murder.

Both Obama and Joe Biden, the vice president-elect, support legal abortions. Obama has called it a "divisive issue" with a "moral dimension," and has pledged to make women's rights under Roe v. Wade a "priority" as president. He opposes a constitutional amendment overturning the Supreme Court decision.

At issue for the church locally and nationwide are exit polls showing 54 percent of self-described Catholics voted for Obama, as well as a growing rift in the lifestyle and voting patterns between practicing and non-practicing Catholics.

In a letter posted on St. Mary's Web site, Newman wrote that "voting for a pro-abortion politician when a plausible pro-life alternative exists constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil."

Catholics who did so should be reconciled to God through penance before receiving communion, "lest they eat and drink their own condemnation," Newman wrote, echoing a I Corinthians admonition for anyone who partakes "without recognizing the body of the Lord."

The response from parishioners has been supportive by a margin of 9 to 1, Newman said. He also cited Scripture in urging parishioners to pray for Obama and cooperate with him wherever conscience permits.

Bishops in Baltimore for their annual meeting this week are wrestling with how to explain church teaching on abortion in light of voters' choice of Obama, who is Protestant, and Biden, who is Catholic, according to The Associated Press.

Francis Cardinal George, president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, told colleagues that "the common good can never be adequately incarnated in any society when those waiting to be born can be legally killed."

Bishops have more vocally spoken about abortion this election season, though the issue hasn't generated as much public debate as the decision in 2004 to deny then-presidential candidate John Kerry communion because of his abortion views.

Stephen Gajdosik, spokesman for the Catholic Diocese of Charleston, told The News that calling parishioners who voted for a candidate who supports legalized abortions to penance is a question of how best to deepen a flock's relationship to God and a move left up to local priests. He said such a move is appropriate and in line with church teaching.

In an e-mail interview, Newman cited a survey earlier this year by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life that showed fewer than 25 percent of the 65 million Americans who call themselves Catholic attend Mass each Sunday, a "disturbing fact of life" that he said shows the vast majority of those baptized into the church "do not live as disciples of Jesus Christ in any observable way."

Mass-attending Catholics, he said, "vote overwhelmingly" for candidates who oppose legalized abortion.

The Catholic dilemma coincides with a split in Protestant circles between those who consider abortion as a non-negotiable moral concern when voting, and emerging groups such as Sojourners who call for candidates to be evaluated on a "consistent ethic of life," abortion and the Iraq war included.

Newman calls abortion the "chief battleground" in the so-called culture wars, and different from "prudential" matters such as health care, education or the war on terror. A Catholic who gets an abortion, encourages one or assists in the procedure is automatically excommunicated from the church, Newman said, a penalty he said doesn't apply to other forms of killing.

"The reason is that abortion is usually murder in secret and it lays axe to human life at its root," he said. With nearly 50 million abortions since Roe v. Wade, Newman said Obama would seek to make "hidden murder" a legally protected right, and anyone who voted to give him such power "will be complicit in the legal holocaust which will follow."

Asked about the moral weight of abortion, Gajdosik said that if only three abortions per year took place in the United States, while an objectively immoral war took thousands of innocent lives, then the war might outweigh abortion as a moral concern.

As it is, he said, the weight of large numbers of innocents "slaughtered" should be the overwhelming issue of concern to Catholics.

Gajdosik said that for someone to be guilty of cooperating with evil, a person would have to know what's at stake and purposefully vote anyway for the candidate who supports legalized abortion.

Newman said, "An uninformed vote is an irresponsible vote," and that no informed voter this year could have mistaken the candidates' abortion positions.

No matter the intention of the voter, Newman said a vote for Obama is "material cooperation" with his goal of extending the use of lethal violence against unborn children.

Asked if he would actively deny the sacraments to Obama voters, Newman said he won't because the church teaches that no one is denied communion unless it would cause "grave scandal," such as in the case of a notorious public sinner.

However, he said he'll continue to teach the necessity of being in "full, visible communion" with the church before receiving the sacraments.

Yes, this directly affects me this time. This is my church, although my attendance is scattershot and I also go to Masses at various other parishes in the upstate. St Mary's is the oldest parish in the region and fairly stunning. (The beautiful stained glass art I have featured on my blog, is all from St Mary's.)

St Mary's members are pretty affluent and old-south. After years of attempting to fit in socially, I simply gave up and moved on, for the most part.

South Carolina is a death penalty state, as I have written before many times, and in the past, I organized prayer vigils for prisoners condemned to death. In fairness, Father Newman graciously allowed me use of the church and church facilities for these events, but notably did not himself attend.

I have to ask: Why doesn't this abortion-logic apply to other issues? Anyone who voted for 100 more years of war, as well as the continuance of capital punishment and the denial of universal health care (leads to DEATH, you know), should also confess and ask for penance, in my ever-humble opinion.

And failing that, why can't we simply call it a wash? Why is abortion the sole litmus test?

If I were as plucky as I once was, I'd make a point of attending daily Mass at St Mary's, but alas, Father Newman CANCELED daily Noon* Masses a couple of years ago. This made it impossible for many of us who work on weekends to attend at all. As it is now, my health issues have basically confined me to my home for a few more weeks anyway.

My last physically-demanding task was standing in line for an hour and a half to vote.

***

*EDITED TO ADD: As Anonymous pointed out to me, St Mary's offers very early (7am) daily Masses. I referred to the 12 Noon daily Mass being canceled, and was not specific. My deepest apologies. I am dimly aware of Masses at such ungodly hours, but mostly, have only heard of them by legend and yes, in the church bulletin. (((shame))) Sorry, I did not actually check the website before linking.

Q-and-A with Daisy - part IV

Fresh Market Halloween pumpkins! Purty!


I get fascinating emails, particularly on the Sabbath. This one arrived in my inbox last Sunday evening.

~*~


Dear Daisy,

Your blog is interesting. I found it through your link about "Is Barack Obama the anti-christ?" You seem to think this is a funny question and it IS NOT at all. Please take this seriously.

You seem to have the timeline confused. I see from your blog that you are Catholic and most Catholics have no knowledge of the anti-christ or Rapture. Let me explain using Biblical principles.

Satan works in the world and he shapes people and society to achieve his goals. Knowingly or not, anti-christ will force people to follow and obey an agenda that appears to be in the best interest of its people but, in following the pattern of human history and man's rebellion to God, will bring about pain and suffering until Christ comes again.

(Insert pertinent quotes from Revelation 13 here, Mark of the Beast, et. al.)

A time is coming when society and lives will be ruled by a self-imposed system where mankind is monitored, analyzed, measured and evaluated by computers. In those times, anyone who refuses to accept this system will be tortured then killed.

We are moving towards a ubiquitous society where people from all walks of life can access anything, anywhere, and at anytime regardless of time and location. The implementation of RFID technology in retail stores is one example. It's estimated that the majority of retail merchandise will use RFID within 1-5 years, and will replace standard bar codes which have been used for the past 30 years.

What drives such development is the belief that we will live safer, easier, richer and more enjoyable lives by using technology to manage everyday aspects of daily life. In a society that craves automated financial management, instant communication and security, it's not a far stretch for RFID enabled biochips to be implanted into the body, and eventually, replacing currency that is easily stolen, lost or hidden.

In the near future:

1) All people will be required to have a biochip. All economic operations will use this chip, thereby replacing today's unit of monetary exchange.

2) There will be privacy invasion and freedom will cease to exist.

3) A charismatic leader, who is the Anti-Christ, will rule the whole world through a system that is interconnected and interdependent.

MARK OF THE BEAST [1] IN THE HUMAN BODY, WE MUST NOT RECEIVE IT. (REVELATION 14:9, 14:11, 16:2)

Accepting this mark is the irreversible act of selling your soul to Satan. This sin is unforgivable and cannot be reversed by physically removing the mark. (see Revelation verses, above). Your soul belongs to God. Therefore if you receive this mark, you then belong to Satan.

If you receive this mark, you are willfully placing your faith in man and not in God. You are actively choosing to live without a loving God who desires to spend eternity with you in Heaven. God does not want you choosing Hell's path.

God knew these things beforehand [2] and because He loves us and wants us to acknowledge this, it was revealed to us through the writing of the apostle John in Revelation around 100 AD.

If you are not taken up to heaven and are thereby left behind for the tribulation, you must not receive the mark of the beast even though you will be tortured then killed for not accepting the government's sanctioned acts of Satan. You must remember this at all times because the hope of heaven still remains.

The Rapture [3] is reserved for those saints who will be lifted into the sky upon God's trumpet call, saints that are to be Raptured will be lifted into the sky to meet Jesus in the clouds. (1 Thessalonians 4: 16-17) The rapture is reserved for those believers who wear spiritual white robes. Their physical body will be transformed.

Jesus will be coming in the clouds for the salvation of Mankind.

If you remain in lukewarm faith, Jesus will spew you out, so you must not be this type of believer, Daisy! (Revelation 3:16) Jesus' first coming was to bring salvation, but his Second Coming is not to bear sins, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.

Those with lukewarm faith, those who are tied with the world, and those who do not know Jesus Christ, will be left behind for the Great Tribulation. The Great Tribulation will be the most devastating time in all of human history. All saints must realize this truth and pray for Jesus Christ's return. Be awake in the spirit and know that Jesus Christ's return is very near.

Maranatha, [4]

__________ (real name given, phone number, the works!)


~*~

[1] Does anyone remember the German horror movie, MARK OF THE DEVIL(1970), that promised free vomit bags to the audience?

[2] I dunno about this. Theologically, it's kind of tricky.

[3] Although my correspondent dutifully links this site, I don't have the heart to tell him that I was already banned from the message board years ago (after only ONE post that didn't contain a single cuss word).

[4] Which congregation started this fad? Who exactly decided to dig up this old Aramaic word and use it all the time? Was this Lonnie Frisbee or somebody like that?

Speaking of which, thanks to John Powers for the heads-up on the documentary of Frisbee's life, which I watched over the weekend, courtesy of Netflix. I enjoyed it, but the music was horrendous and made me want to rend my garments, if I may sound suitably Biblical for a moment. If I had to listen to music like that all the time, I'd be praying for the Rapture to hurry up and get here, too.

My criticisms: not enough explanations regarding precisely what Pentecostalism IS and the various factions therein. Thus, when these various factions started accusing each other of not being genuinely Pentecostal, it wasn't very clear what they meant, theologically. (They all seemed equally Pentecostal to ME, for example.) I certainly enjoyed the chronicle of the Jesus Movement, although I would have greatly preferred more exactitude: dates, times, places and names all seemed to blur together. It was unclear to me if Frisbee was integral to the actual founding of Calvary Chapel and The Vineyard, or if he was just part of the ongoing charismatic scene. The filmmakers never once clarified the geographic locations of any of these places, which was pretty shoddy. And the hugely controversial nature of "being slain in the spirit" was skimmed over, given very short shrift.

I found the central spiritual concept of the last half of the movie--where Lonnie says, "They want my gifts, but they don't want ME!"--to be most interesting. This is similar to what so many artists say, which begs the question of whether charismatic spirituality is a unique talent or possibly a specific art form.

And again, the music made me want to shriek. It might have been the worst music I've ever heard.

Dead Air Church: The Resurrection

And the angel spoke to the women, saying, you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth.

He is not here, for He has risen, as He said.

~*~

After the Goldrush - Prelude

[via FoxyTunes / Prelude]

Art by John Pitre. Song by Neil Young.

Dead Air Church: Backwater

Left: The Greenville County Recycling Center, Stone Avenue in Greenville, SC.


Here at Dead Air Church, we're in a mostly Buddhist mood this 4th week of Lent. Even though wonderful Belledame has just reached the astounding and enviable goal of 250,000 hits on her blog, I have to say, I had one of my lowest hit-counts this weekend, so I am fairly certain no one is reading. One can choose to abandon the blog at this juncture, or progress into even more obscure cultural corners of the Daisy-psyche.

Thus, Dead Air Church brings you the best in 90s Cowpunk nostalgia today, with the Meat Puppets' wonderful BACKWATER. This song is from Too High to Die (1994).

At this time in your humble narrator's life, I was working two jobs (about 50 hours a week); one at a small, community college, and another at a locally-owned video store that was uncomfortably close to the reality of the film CLERKS. In addition, I was madly scurrying to and fro in manic, 90s-soccer-mom mode, dropping young Delusional Precious off at choir rehearsals, sleepovers and clarinet recitals, trying to recycle and leaflet for candidates like a good doobie, attempting to be a good Catholic and never miss Mass, and wondering why I never had any time to myself. It was around this time that my thyroid simply fizzled out, looking backwards half-unconscious from the pain. I felt as if I was in a never-ending foot-race, always bringing up the rear, with no clean socks in the house for ANYBODY.

During this time, in which my life is a total blur, the song hung over my head; constantly serenading me through this addled, sleep-deprived period:

Hey, I'm blind
Good, fine
Roll the time
On whose dime?

And so, arguing with Delusional Precious in the car (no, you can't wear that to school) and trying to remember to let stubborn stains soak, dealing with the unpleasant fact of a dead pet bird (don't ask), driving, driving, driving, to work, to school, to recycle, home, and .... often forgetting where I was going mid-route... ah, those were the days, weren't they? Where did the time go?

The anal-retentive obsession with Recycling took on spiritual significance; something BETTER will come of my wasted days and wasted nights, I thought to myself. The song became a sort of nihilistic personal hymn to the lost hours, microwaved burritos and lack of sleep.

In short, there was some spiritual-sanity there, that these guys were communicating to me. I welcomed their wisdom, then as now. I didn't have time to stop and smell the proverbial roses, but sitting at traffic lights all over the upstate, I heard their words:

In the backwater swirling
There is something that will never change.

Absolutely true. Enjoy!

~*~

Meat Puppets - Backwater

[via FoxyTunes / Meat Puppets]

Because I do not hope to turn again

Happy Ash Wednesday to everyone. Since I'm seeking my saving grace today, I decided Saving Grace would be our opening Lenten hymn.

(I actually sat through that entire Super Bowl halftime, hoping they would play this song. Ha! Far too intense for the Super Bowl, and besides, only hit songs are allowed.)

I think this really sums it all up, for some of us anyway. Enjoy.

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Saving Grace

Dead Air Church - post-Groundhog Day edition

Lent officially begins this week, so trying not to slack.

For Church this week, I present U2's Gloria. Even though I know it is supremely uncool to cop to liking U2 (in any incarnation) these days, this is one of my favorite hymns.

Notice:

1) Bono's hair! Not quite a mullet, but definitely in 80s hair-band mode. This is relatively early; he was still fresh-faced and not so full of himself. (But you can see where he's ready to veer off in that direction!)

2) Listen to that killer riff by The Edge. Lots of people have stolen it since.

3) It's a beautiful video, as befits the subject.

4) The lyrics are so simple and just so perfect:


I try to sing this song
I, I try to stand up
But I can't find my feet.
I, I try to speak up
But only in you I'm complete.

Gloria
In te domine
Gloria
Exultate
Gloria
Gloria
Oh, Lord, loosen my lips.

I try to sing this song
I, I try to get in
But I can't find the door
The door is open
You're standing there, you let me in.

Gloria
In te domine
Gloria
Exultate
Oh, Lord, if I had anything, anything at all
I'd give it to you.

Gloria
In te domine
Gloria
Gloria


~*~

U2 - Gloria

[via FoxyTunes / U2]

Have a wonderful sabbath, everyone.

Dead Air Church - Early Primary Edition

Left: St Teresa of Avila, from carmelite.com


Spiritual text for today:

Let us look at our own shortcomings and leave other people's alone; for those who live carefully ordered lives are apt to be shocked at everything and we might well learn very important lessons from the persons who shock us. Our outward comportment and behaviour may be better than theirs, but this, though good, is not the most important thing: there is no reason why we should expect everyone else to travel by our own road, and we should not attempt to point them to the spiritual path when perhaps we do not know what it is. Even with these desires that God gives us to help others, sisters, we may make many mistakes, and thus it is better to attempt to do what our Rule tells us -- to try to live ever in silence and in hope, and the Lord will take care of His own. If, when we beseech this of His Majesty, we do not become negligent ourselves, we shall be able, with His help, to be of great profit to them. May He be for ever blessed.

St Teresa of Avila, Interior Castle

~*~

Hymn for today:

Bob Dylan - It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)

[via FoxyTunes / Bob Dylan]

~*~

From Vanessa:

I'm Not Gonna Pay A Lot For This Dead Air.

Enter a word for your own slogan:

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator, for all your slogan needs. Get more Dead Air slogans.

I figured that is just right for Dead Air Church, where we have NO collection plate!

Have a great Epiphany!

Feast of St Stephen

This one goes out to everyone who ever wondered who Good King Wenceslas was (St Wenceslaus I, Duke of Bohemia, 907-935 AD), or what the "Feast of Stephen" in the song referred to. The Feast of St Stephen is today, December 26 (also Chairman Mao's birthday, for interested parties), which is how Good King Wenceslas got to be a Christmas Carol. In Canada and other countries, today is known as Boxing Day, a day to give alms to the poor, as Good King Wenceslas does in the song. (In my saltier moments, I have wondered if the US doesn't celebrate Boxing Day because nobody believes in giving to the poor.)

And what kind of Deadhead would I be, if I didn't post ST STEPHEN? The best short (operative word, SHORT) musical version I found was recorded in 1969, and both Bob and Jerry look like teenagers (except Jerry looks like an exceptionally hairy teenager). It was recorded for Playboy After Dark, which isn't optimal, but whatcha gonna do?

St Stephen was martyred in the New Testament. Because he is what is often called a "Biblical saint" (meaning his sainthood was "grandfathered in" and he didn't need to undergo the usual canonization process) I thought it would be safe to wish another Christian a happy St Stephen's Day today. Ha! Dream on, Daisy! John Knox spins in his grave! The Christian-in-question bit my head off in the usual Calvinist style. Honestly, I'd like to know what they put in the water over there at Bob Jones University, which seems to make the people 1) stupid and 2) terribly unhappy.

This conversation broke out into a rather heated theological discussion that seemed to leave everyone around us alternately freaked-out and awestruck, but I'll be DAMNED if I will allow some FUNDIE KNOW-IT-ALL who is studying to be another CLUELESS PREACHER (as if we don't have enough preachers around here as it is) tell me all kindsa bullshit about "epistemology"--a word they have apparently just learned over at BJU, since I've heard it from two of them now.

The discussion ended up with young Preacher-Man self-righteously informing me I was not WORTHY (shades of Wayne's World!) to hear the Gospel. I guess he doesn't think I've heard it already, or not the CORRECT one, in any event. He said he'd visit here to argue with me further, and I wouldn't underestimate him. ZEAL is the brother's middle name. He is right, everyone else (except for John Calvin and Bob Jones, one assumes) is wrong, and that's that.

And then, I remembered the day itself; I thought of St Stephen:

Which of the prophets have not your fathers persecuted? and they have slain them which shewed before of the coming of the Just One; of whom ye have been now the betrayers and murderers:

Who have received the law by the disposition of angels, and have not kept [it].

When they heard these things, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed on him with [their] teeth.

But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up stedfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God,

And said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God.

Then they cried out with a loud voice, and stopped their ears, and ran upon him with one accord

And cast [him] out of the city, and stoned [him]: and the witnesses laid down their clothes at a young man's feet, whose name was Saul.

And they stoned Stephen, calling upon [God], and saying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.

And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

--Acts 7: 52-60 (KJV)

Who is now doing the stoning? It's interesting to read this, in our modern times. Who are the people doing the judging? Who are the people deciding that other people are not good enough, or (ahem) WORTHY enough?

The Calvinist fundamentalists would have stoned St Stephen, as surely as they now have no need for his feast day.

Did he doubt or did he try?
Answers aplenty in the bye and bye
Talk about your plenty, talk about your ills
One man gathers what another man spills

Saint Stephen will remain
All he's lost he shall regain
Seashore washed by the suds and the foam
Been here so long he's got to calling it home

~*~

Grateful Dead - St Stephen

[via FoxyTunes / Grateful Dead]

Like everything else that I been through, it opened up my eyes

From GeekZenDaddy comes the most amazing thing I have seen in awhile. It's ONE TOKE OVER THE LINE as performed on the Lawrence Welk show.

I wish I had a date for this, but alas, nobody seems to know. From that awful dress, we can assume it was about 1971, shortly after the song hit the top 10. (The clothes really do not go with the subject matter!)

This song landed Brewer and Shipley on the Nixon/Agnew enemies list, for the crime of subverting the nation's youth. Apparently LW and crew were completely unaware of that, which is one reason middle America loved them so much: They were clueless, and so was Lawrence Welk, and they were fine with that.



And you thought I was kidding!

Just in case you youngsters don't know the song, the original is below:



I missed Dead Air Church this week, so consider this your weekly meditation. Today is in fact the Feast of St Gertrude, author of that prayer we are supposed to say to have 1000 souls released from purgatory, but I can never remember the prayer (bad Catholic!).

In any event, pot and purgatory are definitely related, but such enlightening theological reflections will have to wait for a later date.

All Souls Day - Day of the Dead

Ironically, sitting here yesterday typing and pontificating (root word: pontiff, haha) nearly made me late for All Saints Day Mass. And so there I go, scurrying in during the homily, duly splashing myself with holy water while wondering (as I always do) why the Mexicans and Vietnamese are always sitting in the back. You should go up front! You are just as entitled to be here as the white people! Alas, I don't know any language but English, so I can't say this to them. I usually express this sentiment simply by sitting with them, smiling at their babies and sharing tissues when one spits up. They are probably thinking, poor confused old hippie, doesn't know where the white people sit.

The reading is from spooky old Revelations 7, and reminds us:

After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no man could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, "Salvation belongs to our God who sits upon the throne, and to the Lamb!" And all the angels stood round the throne and round the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying, "Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God for ever and ever! Amen."

Then one of the elders addressed me, saying, "Who are these, clothed in white robes, and whence have they come?" I said to him, "Sir, you know." And he said to me, "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

I thought about those who have had the greatest tribulations, those who have endured war, famine, illness and hardship; those who have been abandoned. I was suddenly overwhelmed, humbled and honored to be in the presence of the saints.

~*~



Old joke: The most dangerous place in the world to be is in a Catholic parish parking lot after Mass; the second most dangerous place would be the closest bakery. (I guess that's a dated joke now, and it should be re-written to say, the closest Starbucks.) I hate gridlock of any kind, so I therefore hang back and usually wait until the place clears out, and pay close attention to details... for instance, my priest is picky about his nomenclature and the song sheet informs us that today is THE SOLEMNITY of All Saints. So is it still THE FEAST of All Saints? What, one wonders, is the difference between Solemnity and Feast?

The calendar is a traditional Christian method of organizing a liturgical year on the level of days by associating each day with one or more saints, and referring to the day as that saint's feast day. The system arose from the very early Christian custom of annual commemoration of martyrs on the dates of their deaths (Dies Mortis, day of death, opposite of Dies Natalis). As the number of recognized saints increased during Late Antiquity and roughly the first half of the Middle Ages, eventually every day of the year had at least one saint who was commemorated on that date.

The day a child was born determined who their patron saint was, hence, the derivation of "birthday."

"Various feast days will be "ranked" with various levels of importance. In the Roman Catholic Church, from most to least importance, these are solemnities, feasts, memorials, and optional memorials. In the Church of England, they are Principal Feasts and Principal Holy Days, Festivals, Lesser Festivals, and Commemorations.

You could go crazy trying to keep it all straight, and Lord Knows, I once tried mighty hard.

I am now lucky to make it to the Majors.

~*~

Some years ago, I thought donating blood at Halloween was a fun idea, especially since they also passed out cute Vampire T-shirts to all participants (blood, vampires, Halloween, get it??). At some point, this habit morphed (like the holiday itself?) into giving blood for All Saints Day instead, and I made it part of my spiritual repetition. Blood was shed on my account, I guess I can shed a little bit in return.

And so, I made my way to the local Bloodmobile, which really does bother me. I don't like giving blood in a VEHICLE. I know, it's a fancy schmancy vehicle and everything, but it is still a VEHICLE that could, you know, MOVE at any moment. The humongous electrical generator makes all manner of roaring noises, and as my blood pumps out of my arm, I am left wondering: Did they remember to put the emergency brake on?

First, the Blood Connection lady takes me into a little cubicle to ask me personal sexual questions, extending all the way back to 1977 (!). My favorite of these is: Have you had sex with a man who has had sex with another man?

And I really want to answer: Have you ever asked a man that question, before you have sex with him? "Oh, hey, by the way, have you had sex with another man?" Right.

In other words, the proper and true answer: How the hell am I supposed to know? But if you say that, expressing doubts, they will refuse you and bounce you out. So, everyone just replies in the heterosexist manner in which you are expected to answer: No.

Even though the battery of sexual questions is harrowing, and they add a few more bizarre twists and turns every year or so (I have to admit, I enjoy sniffing "I'm a VEGETARIAN!" to all of their Mad Cow Disease questions), the thoroughly bored demeanor of the interrogator always gets me through. She doesn't care; she's heard it all before, and then some.

The last question is the most interesting: Are you giving blood just so you can be tested for HIV?

Does anyone really do that?

~*~

Coming up in Day of the Dead, Part Two: Ron Paul in Greenville, with original photos!

----------------
Listening to: Howlin' Wolf - Smokestack Lightnin'
via FoxyTunes

All Saints Day

The Calling of Saint Matthew by Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio, Contarelli Chapel, San Luigi dei Francesi, Rome. (1599-1600)

~*~

I have always loved the look of stunned surprise on Matthew's face: Who, me?

And the guy next to him looks just as surprised: Who, him?

The tax collector???

Matthew, the tax collector, is in a dark room, with a bunch of men involved in a filthy, materialistic act: counting money. It's his job. The tax collector was more like a loan shark in those days, and worthy of resentment, if not outright hatred. He is sitting in a room with lowlifes, in short, men like himself. He is scrambling for his livelihood, one bright, shiny coin at a time. One of his compatriots is focused totally on the money, and ignores the light from the door; the only light in the painting.

He is being singled out. But the One singling him out is not, this time, the main subject of the painting. Matthew is, as he points to himself, the accompanying disbelief and shock clearly written on his face.

Which leads us to ask the obvious question: Why has He chosen him? Frankly, it makes no sense.

The painting has stayed with me throughout my life, since I first saw it. It has robbed me of sleep as often as it has comforted me. I have felt the echo: Who, me?

If you feel that a door was opened, light suddenly shown on you, and God Himself pointed to you, even for a millisecond, then you know the feeling. You know the feeling of St Matthew. You point at yourself, your shock eclipsing all else in that stretched-out, single moment in time: Why am I being singled out? It makes no sense.

And the people next to you, can be as incredulous as the man sitting next to Matthew: Who, her?

This painting was brought to us by a common brawler, in fact, a murderer. Caravaggio was not a nice guy:

An early published notice on him, dating from 1604 and describing his lifestyle some three years previously, tells how "after a fortnight's work he will swagger about for a month or two with a sword at his side and a servant following him, from one ball-court to the next, ever ready to engage in a fight or an argument, so that it is most awkward to get along with him."[1] In 1606 he killed a young man in a brawl and fled from Rome with a price on his head. In Malta in 1608 he was involved in another brawl, and yet another in Naples in 1609, possibly a deliberate attempt on his life by unidentified enemies. By the next year, after a career of little more than a decade, he was dead.

I like to think the sentiment is his, the feeling of having been called and not having a clue why: Does He know who I really am? Yes, He knows. That's why you've been called, because He knows.

For several hundreds of years now, we've been getting a twisted message, and it needs to be put right. Those of us who responded to this phenomenon (the bright light shining on us, the finger of God pointing and singling us out), believed we were not good enough. Our calling must be a mistake, or a delusion. For example, look at all of these people who claim to speak to God personally; they get all kinds of messages, and spelled out in E-N-G-L-I-S-H, too. Why can't I have some of that? If you've asked, you know that no answer is forthcoming, it is something you have to find the answer to, like a complicated word-problem. It is your life's work, to discover why. But first, you must believe. You must overcome the shock and the disbelief, the finger Matthew raises to his chest. All around him, the disbelief, and all around us, the same disbelief.

You may hear, for instance, that you are not truly called if you are a woman. (Lookit that room, all guys.) You may hear that you are not truly called if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered. You may hear that if you live in the wrong country, pay taxes to the wrong emperor, live under another creed or ideology, then no, it doesn't apply to you, and you must have been mistaken. The secular and nonspiritual world reduces the painting to The Baroque Period, and doesn't appreciate that some of us feel punched in the gut by it. Well, they say, it's because it's Art.

No, it is because the brawler, who felt unworthy, put a spiritual truth in the painting, for US, who also feel unworthy. He painted that for us. It was a tremendous gift, from another who was chosen, and didn't understand why. He is saying: this is what I can do, I can illustrate this feeling in my heart, with color and shadow. Now, you must go forth and do whatever YOU can do. Whoever and whatever you are, you must spread the Truth to all nations.

If you aren't sure what that Truth is, then you need to find it. You are charged with the truth, which will set you free.

And on All Saints Day, the day the Church formally honors saints, I have to remember that. ALL SAINTS: Tax collectors, publicans and sinners. I have to remember the people the Church has deliberately closed out. I have to remember all of the people who hate me. I have to remember everyone in the world, made in God's image, who have felt the strength of love and redemption in their life.

It's hard to do. I'd rather just count my money in the dark and be left alone.

But after you are singled out, it's impossible to forget, regardless of what comes after. That is what the eyes, the expression of Matthew tell us. It's not about you, anymore. Come, He said, I will make you fishers of men.

Have a great All Saints Day.

----------------
Listening to: Bob Marley & the Wailers - Redemption Song
via FoxyTunes