Crestfallen campaign update

Regarding the 4th Congressional District Democratic primary runoff election, held Tuesday the 24th: Ted Christian got roughly the same percentage of votes that he got during the primary on June 10. (33% on the 10th, 32% on the 24th) The estimated turnout, according to local talk radio, was around 2% of the upstate electorate. That is just scandalous, IMHO.

Ted credits his weasely opponent's hitpiece for his loss, but I credit the microscopically-low turnout. Paul Corden, the candidate who will be running against hyper-conservative, Bush-groupie Rep. Bob Inglis in the fall, pledged that he is the "real Democrat" in the race, yet never discusses the war and seems completely oblivious to the fact that "real Democrats" can't get elected around here. A DIFFERENT kind of Democrat (or other type of politician) will be necessary to penetrate the boredom and overall sense of futility people have around voting.

And so, I am taking Ted's widget off my blog, weeping all the while. We are presently licking our wounds and talking about what we should do next. I am all about the Green Party, which may be too lefty for Ted, but we'll see.

(((sings several rounds of FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW))))

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Listening to: Amy Winehouse - Me & Mr. Jones
via FoxyTunes

RUNOFF ELECTION FOR TED!

Left: Ted Christian watches election returns at the Liberty Tap Room last night.

~*~

It was a long day yesterday. We busted major ass.

First, I go to work, and encounter my favorite customer who had a TV show made about him, Tony Della Ventura. I asked him if he voted in the primary and ohhhhhhh, I forgot. (I asked him that before, didn't I?) I was treated to a mini-diatribe about how politicians are all whores, which you should pronounce the way Tony Montana did, whilst sitting in the bathtub: these horsssssss. Della Ventura is the only ex-New York cop I know with a confederate flag tattooed on his leg. He was played by Danny Aiello, which is utterly perfect casting, except that Danny isn't tattooed over every square inch of his body, riding a Harley. (Well, in fairness, this is after retirement and moving south.)

And so, Tony tells me: don't vote for these horssssss.

I take his point, but I tell him how I try to work within the system, yada yada, and with that, we are off on one of our epic conversations. I re-stock the Greens Plus and talk about Ron Paul, who he likes.

~*~

Went to vote in the Thornblade precinct, where they had (this is no exaggeration) only 17 Democrats all day, and 324 Republicans. (This totally explains the golf course in my face, now doesn't it?)

My spies say they saw Jim Burns shaking hands with people, shilling for votes, right on the polling place property, supposedly as he stopped in to vote for himself. Isn't that against the rules? Who's in charge here?

Off to do some quick windshield-leafletting, wash dishes, grab kombucha on the way over to the West End.

~*~

And speaking of the West End--damn, what happened to this place? You ain't in Kansas anymore, Dorothy. I arrive at the aptly named Liberty Tap Room, which didn't even exist a couple of years ago. I'm still quite amazed by the whole capitalist enterprise; the pseudo-artsy West End (once the low-class textile mill area of town), the new ball park, the condos atop the ballfield, etc... all the latte-town dreams of the Greenville Chamber of Commerce. I look at the ballfield and wonder how many old millhouses and ancient storefronts died for it's sins. I've still never been to a Greenville Drive game, although I did go to Greenville Braves games in the old suburban stadium, back when we had the Atlanta Braves farm team. I think DRIVE is a DUMB name for a team and I say so at every available opportunity (like right now). The Braves were sold to Mississippi and are now the Mississippi Braves. Damn, I hate that.

~*~

Ted was watching the returns when I arrived after the polls closed at 7pm. The whole crew was there (see photo below) and we settled in to watch the returns on one of those giant restaurant TVs out on the terrace. He joked that at least he had eleven votes!

When approximately 44% of the precincts were in, Ted looked at the TV-screen, somewhat startled, and did Rocket Scientist magic right in front of us. He squinted in deep thought, like Mr Spock, and announced that if Bryan McCanless had X% of the vote and Paul Corden had Y%, with 44% of the precincts? Closes eyes, put hands to eyes momentarily--then he says: Runoff.

"No single candidate could possibly have 50% of the vote," he said, somewhat surprised at what he was saying. "Runoff election between me and Corden!"

What? How did you DO that, man? NO WONDER HE CAN LIVE OFF THE FREAKING STOCK MARKET, with talents like those. I wish I could do algebra right in my head. (Just like they told you in school, word-problems can actually help you in real life.)

Ted looked exultant, well, as exultant as rocket scientists ever get, anyway.

At this point, cell-phones start ringing, and people start handing them to Ted. HE DOESN'T HAVE A CELL-PHONE, PEOPLE. HE IS RUNNING FOR CONGRESS AND DOESN'T HAVE A CELL-PHONE!!! Newspapers and Channel 4 wanna interview him--Ted sprints off to Channel 4, which is, luckily, right down the street. (Sometimes, living in a smallish town has its perks.)

The phones continue going off with various ring-tones, and one campaign-worker says, HEY, TED TOOK MY PHONE!

~*~

And so, it's a Runoff election in two weeks, between Paul Corden and Ted Christian. Ted landed 33%. I attribute not a small amount to those Walmart windshields I littered up!

Ted, on his website:

We're inside the gates, boys and girls.

Here's the deal. Anybody who didn't vote Republican in the primary can vote in the runoff. Corden got the party hard core yesterday, and that's about all he's going to get. We on the other hand have an entire universe of fed up people to tap into. Do the math.

Ted's all about math.

More work, more windshields, I can't pretend this isn't exhausting to think about. But Ted actually in the race against entrenched Republican incumbent Bob Inglis, where he CAN'T BE IGNORED? It's a dizzying prospect. And it could happen! We were all flush with success, woo-hooing our way out of the Liberty Tap Room.

More to come, of course. I will keep you all posted.

Edit, by popular demand: here is your humble narrator doing her Brunhilde impersonation last evening, particularly necessary in heat like this, where my hair threatens to smother me. Photo by Serena.

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Listening to: Grateful Dead - The Race Is On
via FoxyTunes

It DOES take a rocket scientist!

Left: Former rocket scientist and South Carolina 4th District Democratic congressional candidate, Ted Christian, consults with campaign advisor Sheila Jackson about why he forgot to mention global warming on his new leaflets.

Last evening at the Coffee Underground, sitting in on a brainstorming session with Christian, Jackson and an unidentified, deep-cover Obama campaign worker (not pictured, not named, not even supposed to say they were sitting there!), I realized I hadn't charged my camera battery again. This always happens when I am trying to take important pictures vs. trivial ones. Ted asked me-- does it take a rocket scientist?--flipped open my camera battery (I have trouble remembering WHERE it is), quickly exchanged it with his own, zip-zip, and handed it back to me. "Should work now," he said.

A ROCKET SCIENTIST! Ted is one of the few people who can really make that joke because he was one, working at NASA HQ in Houston with bigshot contractors like Lockheed. I realized, this needs to be a campaign slogan: IT DOES TAKE A ROCKET SCIENTIST!!!! I think it should be on bumper-stickers, buttons, signs...

And so, we pick over the fascinating details of Ted Christian's life, wondering what the Republicans will say. He knows he's not a typical candidate. The rest of us wonder how much that fact will hurt or help his candidacy.

The simple fact is, Ted Christian might be TOO COOL for upstate South Carolina. For instance, he retired at age 28, after successfully playing the stock market for several years as only a rocket scientist could. This fact may bring admiration, and then again, it may bring envy and suspicion. It's one thing for the members of the upper classes to waste time on yachts and dash around Europe in expensive sports cars; quite another for a very smart working class kid to figure out the ins and outs of capitalism well enough to make a lot of money so he can do interesting things like live in the desert for awhile, hang out in Australia and make pilgrimages to the Vatican ("Including the gift shop," he says) and Tibet. Tibet? He'll have some explaining to do around here in Baptist country. Although the Tibet stories would probably get him instantly elected down on the coast, say, in Myrtle Beach, Hilton Head or Charleston. But up here?

Well, I don't know. Have we arrived as a real live Metro area or not?

Whether Democratic voters in the June 10th primary will vote for an interesting person with new ideas borne of different and varied experiences around the world, or stick with the same old homespun Bubba-characters and/or party hacks, will tell the tale.

Ted Christian was born in Japan (to a Vietnam veteran father) and grew up in Florida. After college, he went to work in the aerospace industry in Houston, working on the space program. He also lived near Las Vegas for a time, studying the mathematics of various card games, which he considered researching for a dissertation. It makes sense he would be captivated by the mathematical probabilities of the stock market.

After making enough money to live on, he decided to see the world and eventually ended up here in Greenville in 1999, which is also the home of his sister. I first met him during his work on the Billy Mitchell mayoral campaign. Ted founded the Greenville Antiwar Society, virtually the day the war began. Like Obama, he was against the war before it started and is the only candidate who can make this claim.

And so, here he is, running for congress as one of three candidates vying for the Democratic congressional nomination. (The others are Greenville resident Bryan McCanless, and Paul Corden, a former marketing executive and retired community college teacher from Spartanburg.) He is eager to debate the other candidates, who seem utterly terrified of him. They should be; he is smart, witty and quick. My concern is that he will blurt out something irreverent, which he likes to do (he's funny!) and then get raked over the coals for it (at worst) and/or misunderstood (at best).

Example: Every candidate in the upstate is duly interrogated about religion, and expected to give their church affiliation when they run for office. It's standard operating procedure and Christianity is required, much as it is for the presidency. I asked Ted what he was going to say, and he quipped "Uncommitted!"

Now, see, you can't say that stuff. They will eat him alive.

But of course, a candidate's religion IS seriously no one's business in a democracy that supposedly prides itself on the separation of church and state. These questions are highly inappropriate, but the media ask them anyway and the candidates answer like trained seals. They obediently provide the details of their multiple-year-membership in whatever approved Baptist, Methodist or Presbyterian denomination (and it better be one of those, no off-brands!) they have dutifully enlisted in. And this information is printed on the campaign leaflets. If Ted wants to be the "change candidate"--he might actually be the first upstate candidate to declare, "I find that question inappropriate!"--but then again, this might make him look like an educated snob. (Even if his opponent, incumbent rightwingnut Bob Inglis, is the one who went to Duke.)

Ted could also be his witty self and reply with something like "Well, I haven't decided on a church membership yet, but I've noticed church membership doesn't stop our Congressman Bob Inglis from engaging in morally questionable acts, such as giving his wife a pricey job in his re-election campaign!" Using the occasion to hammer at Inglis, might be the way to go.

I will be leafletting for Ted and busting my butt before the primary. He is a shaft of sunlight peeping through the door, a harbinger of a new Upstate that thrives on diversity and real debate. He signifies that the 4th district has come of age and is ready to entertain some actual political argument.

GO TED!