Your redneck-hippie guide to the PGA Tour!

Welcome to the tournament! These trailers are all over the place. Only Budweiser is more ubiquitous.

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Yes, we provide only the very best guides to American culture here at DEAD AIR!

My apartment complex is about 20 feet from Thornblade, one of the premier golf courses in the south. As stated in this space last year, it is time for the annual invasion of the golfers. Of course, I speak of the BMW Charity Pro-Am Golf Tournament. It's some major hoopla, and people flock here from all 50 states and abroad. The celebrities in this year's tournament include Terry O'Quinn, Dennis Quaid and Greg Kinnear.

Since the Golf Channel is parked at one of my apartment complex exit-gates, I was able to stroll right through, unnoticed and undisturbed... until one over-eager security guy sternly reminded me not to walk on the green. (Dude, I wouldn't dream of it.) The golf clubs, cars (BMW provides all the shiny new "courtesy vehicles" for the event) and assorted sports accoutrements simply reek with money... in fact, the whole place radiates cash, even more than it usually does. Ordinarily, someone like me could not afford to be anywhere near the premises, except as a caddy. But Mr Daisy and I walk through this neighborhood all the time, and know the intricate twisty-turns far better than the yearly visitors. (Not to mention the fact that their golf balls hit my spare-room window every day during golf season.)

Unfortunately, I don't know from golf, so I can't explain any of these photos on a sportsman's level. But I can certainly explain them on a redneck-hippie level!

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The people lined up on Thornblade Boulevard to watch this shot, were whispering intently and staying very still. I figured this meant something important was happening, so I took a photo of it.

You can't see the golf ball, but it's real close!


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Practice range at Thornblade... our apartment complex is right beyond the line of trees, mere feet away. We live at the very edge. The trees are very nice, and we can usually pretend it's a park when the golfing population is low. ;)





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An unsuspecting geese family flees, confused and wondering what all these mega-rich people are doing in their habitat.

I know exactly how they feel.






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And more photos below...

SherriLynn & Mountain Friends

....is the name of the excellent bluegrass band I saw today at Earth Fare Plaza. Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera with me. (But at left, you can see SherriLynn and her band in an 'official' photograph.)

Lovely southern harmonies and good times, also some great noodles and salad. A splendid time was had by all!

On Monday, the PGA-tour golfers invade my neighborhood, as they do every year. (Any golfers out there?) I have no escape route, so I will grit my teeth once again, and try to avoid getting run over by golf carts and zealous celebrity-chasers. Also, I'll try to take some fun photos this time. As stated before, it all happens right outside my window.

Hope you are all having a great weekend too!

The famous golfers have departed, for now...

Left: Thornblade golf course, suburban Greenville SC. (this view is only about a quarter-mile from where I live)

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Golfer: Listen, what am I paying my fucking dues for? This is my golf course! If I wanna play here, I will play here. If he gets hit with my titleist, that's his fucking problem. Fore! Fore! [Hits ball]

Michael Douglas: [the ball barely misses his head; whips out shotgun] Five!

What the hell are you trying to do? Kill me with a golf ball? It's not enough you have all these beautiful acres fenced in for your little game, but you gotta kill me with a golf ball? You should have children playing here, you should have families having picnics, you should have a goddamn petting zoo! But instead you've got these stupid electric carts for you old men with nothing better to do! [Fires his shotgun at a golf cart, causing it to roll down the hill]

Michael Douglas: Now aren't you ashamed of yourself?

--from the movie FALLING DOWN (1993)

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I live, quite literally, about 15-20 feet from a golf course. The horrors never end.

I can usually carry on a delightful delusion that I live next to a beautifully-landscaped park, where families are having picnics and there is a goddamn petting zoo (see quote above), but alas, it's not and there isn't. This past weekend, the point was brought forcefully home, since the BMW Charity Pro-Am Golf Tournament was going on, quite literally, right outside my bedroom window.

And so, I had drunk people in golf carts whizzing by all weekend, manically searching for celebs like Joe Pesci, Kurt Russell, Luke Wilson, Dennis Quaid, Cheech Marin and Wayne Gretzky. No parking for miles, the scent of hundreds of gallons of spilled beer, and large Hollywood-sized trailers everywhere, with various snazzy and colorful brand names emblazoned thereon. Also, lots of sports networks broadcasting on every corner, with those mobile TV-eyes poking up in the air--We're on the air, live!

One barely resists the urge to shove the talking head out of the way and STRIP, yelling: HEY YALL, WELCOME TO GREENVILLE! [moons camera]

Maybe when I was younger.

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Speaking of which--my last post, written in a fit of pique, has been linked on the UK feminist blog titled The F-Word (not to be confused with Sara Anderson's F-Words, from Idaho). THANK YOU, DEAR SISTERS!

I finally enabled backlinks on my blog, but as you can see, it only picks up maybe half of all trackbacks, which is disturbing. (On my end, I have finally started leaving my own html-made trackbacks.) Harumph--Blogger needs to get with the program! Now that I have a clue, might have gone with Wordpress instead and I understand now why so many people switch over.

Hope your Wednesday is good. I tried to make that purty golf-course photo a "Wordless Wednesday" post, but as you've all undoubtedly figured out by now, wordlessness does not come easy to me.

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Listening to: Grateful Dead - King Solomon's Marbles
via FoxyTunes