Monday, June 30, 2008

Odds and Sods - post-frenectomy edition

Here at Dead Air, I try to keep my readers updated on the newest frontiers in hippie-aging. Today, we discuss frenectomy, specifically a labial frenectomy. (Nooooo, not THAT labia!)

First, imagine my heart-stopping reaction when I am referred to a periodontist (yes, as always, the consult-a-rama never ends!) with the same surname as a local politician whom I have, umm, written about in an unkind manner here at DEAD AIR! (((gulp))) A friendly question brings out that YES, they are RELATED (as everyone in the south is, of course). I can only hope this individual isn't fond of frequently Googling their relatives, or if so, maybe secretly hates their politician kinfolk as much as the rest of us do.

So...I go to see the periodontist for a graft of my receding gum and a frenectomy, which is the snipping-and-mending of that long, weblike piece of skin that attaches lip to gum; a useless fold of skin that we don't really need. Some evolutionary adaptation, maybe, like our appendix, no longer necessary. Now, it exists merely to attract stray hulls of popcorn, as well as pull on your gum and make your gum recede even faster than it normally would. This procedure is called a labial frenectomy. I also had two skin-grafts, over two teeth.

Simply put, this hurts like a mofo. But there are drugs to be had, and the days of my chemical purity in such matters are long gone. As Alan Arkin reminded us in LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE, when you're young it's crazy to do drugs; when you're old, it's crazy not to.

Now I look like I've been pummeled. And you know all that perky-ass Mouseketeer bullshit you heard as a kid? I now speak very specifically to baby-boomer-aged American females, bludgeoned daily with: SMILE! It takes MANY MORE MUSCLES TO FROWN! This line was usually delivered by some insufferable, strenuously earnest 4th grade teacher, fresh from the local Midwestern Teacher College. The immediate capitalist goal was the continuous baby-boomer Gidgetizing of the masses of American womanhood during the halcyon 60s--ambiguous or thoughtful facial expressions were banned by the cultural authorities as signs of female independence. "Frowning" also referred to various versions of not-smiling, such as smirking, scowling, or sneering. Looking perplexed or furrowing one's brow in thought, were pretty risky also. Related other facial expressions that might imply girls were thinking for themselves, needless to say, were NOT permissible. We were constantly exhorted to SMILE, SMILE, SMILE.

Well, lo and behold--it turns out that...YES! It IS easier to smile. My preliminary research shows that reading blogs, post-periodontal surgery, has brought on involuntary painful smirking, scowling and the especially post-surgically-stinging sneer. (Aiyeeee)

I am suddenly aware of just how much smirking and sneering I actually DO in a day.

What would I do without the net, to teach me these important things?


Renegade Evolution reports that various anti-porn websites using porn performers' images without their consent, are just as much in violation of the law as any actual porn site that does the same thing:

The Stop Porn Culture Slide Show Training Program includes a script, tips for conducting the session; it also includes the power Point Visual presentation, which contains pornographic material. They are saying that this slide show falls under the preview of Fair Use.

However, as it can now be watched, downloaded, viewed, reproduced, and yes, even sold, the creators of Stop Porn Culture, or anyone and everyone else who wishes to showcase, distribute, or otherwise use the material in the slide show is in violation of Federal Law 2257.

Never mind that not a one of the performers featured in this “educational tool” were asked their opinions, or for their consent, nor were the companies that originally produced the images…but now see, there are questions of a Federal Law which applies to Pornographers, and as these people have essentially made themselves such, the law also applies to them. Any person exhibiting pornography, even if it is free, is beholden to 2257, this includes SPC, and those who run this seminar. You will note, at the end of the presentation, there is a claim of copyright over images already subject to copyright, and used without permission.
Another one of those interesting paradoxes that never occurred to me; rather as the film Tongues Untied was later used in anti-gay videos made by the Christian right (and I saw one of those; this isn't academic). Some of these clips were pretty explicit, too... it is interesting how far the "anti" people go in utilizing so-called obscene material to make their points. I can't help but wonder how much of this is to draw the audience in, to guarantee them some sexual excitement and appeal to their own repressed, unacknowledged prurience.


Some brave souls on the left and right are finally daring to take on the seemingly-sacrosanct matter of John McCain's war record. Politico reports:
Critics have accused McCain of war crimes for bombing targets in Hanoi in the 1960s. A widely read liberal blog on Sunday accused McCain of "disloyalty" during his captivity in Vietnam for his coerced participation in propaganda films and interviews after he had been tortured.

"A lot of people don't know ... that McCain made a propaganda video for the enemy while he was in captivity," wrote's John Aravosis. "Putting that bit of disloyalty aside, what exactly is McCain's military experience that prepares him for being commander in chief?"

"Getting shot down, tortured and then doing propaganda for the enemy is not command experience," Aravosis wrote in the blog post, titled "Honestly, besides being tortured, what did McCain do to excel in the military?"
Wow! And predictably, it's ON. (226 comments so far! Check it out.)


Blogdonia's most recent feminist trainwreck concerns the CARNIVAL OF FEMINISTS (#59), which included an extremely transphobic blog post purporting to "deconstruct" transgenderism. The article was eventually removed, but the resulting conflagration (113 comments) continues.

Again, I feel it necessary to apologize to transpeople for the actions of these bigoted radical feminists, as I apologize to people bullied by Christians, by southerners, by white people, by Americans...I can only say I am sorry, folks.

They do not speak for me.

Listening to: Grateful Dead - Estimated Prophet
via FoxyTunes


Drakyn said...

Daisy, I know that Natalie and mAndrea don't speak for you. ^.^

PS: I took the 1930s husband test and I got a 66. My boyfriend got a 21... WTF?

Bryce said...

feel better!

JoJo said...

My dentist wants me to have that graft done on one of my lower front teeth as well. Think I'll have to float him a "no" after reading this.