Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Do men ever delete their blogs?

Why do so many women delete their ENTIRE BLOGS?

Why not simply delete, say, particular posts they find embarrassing, compromising or just plain bad?

What is the reason for this? I can't imagine doing it myself. I can imagine deleting stuff that reflects old beliefs or bad politics... I can also imagine making one's blog "invitation only" if one is scared or harassed; I considered it briefly myself.

Can anyone name a male blogger who has deleted their entire blog? This appears to be a female phenomenon... then again, I mostly read and link women, therefore it makes sense that it would appear that way to me. (I just clicked on my third blogger in a week who has deleted her blog.) But then I tried to think of MALE BLOGGERS who have done this and could not think of a single one.

I want to know what makes someone do this, and why don't men do it? (And of course, lots of them should!)

There seems to be some sort of "female shame" at work here, and I don't like it. (Or is this due to harassment of women? By men or other women?)

If you blog, have you ever considered deleting your whole blog? Can you relate to it? Which bloggers do you miss that have done this?

Discuss.

26 comments:

sheila said...

I've come across this 3 times since last fall. But I always just assumed that maybe they were giving out too much info and possibly got some creepo reading their stuff...maybe about their kids or something. I don't know.

I find it odd myself. Although the creep reason would lead me to make some changes myself

Outis said...

Wow, can I relate to this. Just after getting home I discovered two of my favorite writers had gone poof!

No explaination just a deleted blog. Now I am going into "Seriously Worried" mode.

lilacsigil said...

Over on the fandom side of things I've seen male bloggers delete blogs, usually in a fit of pique. Women seem to delete their blogs either with anger and a grand-standing goodbye speech, or just be quietly gone. I have 3 (female) friends who've done this - two were sick of being harrassed and started again with a new name, one was maliciously outed as a fangirl in her workplace and had to delete everything.

Dennis the Vizsla said...

You must have never bumped into my blog friend Tony, of ynot60.wordpress.com ... I mean, of tazblog.wordpress.com ... I mean, of pigsflying.wordpress.com ... I mean, of intas.wordpress.com ... I mean, of ......

Lisa said...

I've known one male blogger to delete everything or make it private so it appears to be gone.

I've shut down two blogs, but left them up with a post directing people to the new blog. Maybe I'm egotistical, but the thought of deleting all that writing of mine makes me sick. No way could I do it!

John Powers said...

I don't think deleting blogs is just a women's thing, and I think there are various reasons for doing it; but the reasons may sometimes fall more or less along gender lines.

Teju Cole is a brilliant writer and photographer. He's had at least two blogs that he then takes down. I'm not sure of his reasons, but he does tell people when. Part of it maybe wanting to sell writing. Chris Clarke has removed articles from his archives to make it easier to get his writing in print.

Another male blogger I read, Keguro Macharia took down his blog. Again I'm not sure of the reasons, but I suspect it came with a move to a new graduate school.

Some people my age (50's)have odd ideas about what blogs are. And people my age also don't get personal information which is publicly viewable. They tend to default to a "got you" mode, whereas younger people take care about who can see what, but know that inevitably sometimes stuff gets out they rather wouldn't have. My hunch is a lot of blogs going blank has to do with employment changes.

yellowdog granny said...

my friend sooner deleted his blog and then turned it into a porn site..I laughed my ass off..

Tracey said...

This is a great question! I have seen men delete their entire Facebook accounts or MySpace pages before, usually because of some sort of fear that they were revealing too many personal things or they didn't like the idea of specific people finding them or following their lives.

I wouldn't want to generalize, but I do know of many women who have deleted their blogs due to harassing or misogynistic comments.

polerin said...

I don't wish to speak for her, but the only person I know personally that has deleted her blog said it was because her blog had been overly involved with the mommy blogging community. It was erasing her sense of self and ability to talk about her needs and issues, along with involvement in an apparently insular and very cliquish community.

I hope I didn't misrepresent the discussion we had about it.

mikeb302000 said...

I could never do it, too egotistical.

Weasel said...

I have deleted every blog I've ever had, bar one, and that one is the longest running one I've ever kept. Usually it's been for one of the following reasons ... feeling as if I'd slipped up and revealed things I wasn't comfortable having online, people from 'the real world' reading, someone sucking me into some internet drama, or just feeling they represented a phase in my life I'd moved on from.

I never considered archiving any of the latter as I've never thought of my writing as significant. Though I can see why some folk would - there are people doing much weightier writing than I am :).

Ann oDyne said...

I deleted my first blog when it was 2 years old. My daughter was directed to it by a person I don't know. She didn't like what she read (very touchy woman)
and Delete came to me faster than
'Edit Posts, Save As Draft,.
The URL is now a weird asian porn site. Daughter probably likes it now. We don't speak.

Another blogger in my state had a huge following and she just disappeared.

If you Guugle wegglywoo
the results will be people asking where it went.

Jenny said...

My ex deleted his livejournal, seemingly because he didn't like reading comments (on mine) about how I was justified in being upset by his behaviour. He reversed the deletion once he'd got enough attention.

Feminist Avatar said...

I almost deleted my blog as I was fed up with discussions going on in my online community, which I disagreed with and felt had been done so many times before, with no resolution. And, my gut response was- get out of here- and I think I saw leaving my blog up as leaving a part of myself 'there'; in that conversation, even tho' I wasn't and hadn't posted in ages.

A wiser person than me once said that women were more reluctant to 'let go of the authorial signature' than men (that is to stop owning their words- seeing cultural products as a creation of society and context rather than individuals), because they had only recently won the right to own them in the first place (ie women's right to a public voice is historically new and hard won). Perhaps, as a result, when we need to walk away from particular online communities or just the internet as a time suck, we feel we can't leave something of ourselves there- we can't stop owning our words (even if they may be out of date or not where we are any more). And perhaps, because of that sense of ownership, if we move beyond those ideas or no longer agree with them, we also can't leave them out there, as it is no longer us.

DaisyDeadhead said...

Feminist Avatar, that is the best analysis I've heard. Also John is right about older people more often freaking out about what's online. Women I know (my age, 50s) are always asking me if I "mind" people knowing XYZ, and I tellem, if I minded, I wouldn't write it in the first place: "Believe it or not, I leave a lot out!"--I think they find that hard to believe! And I am not nearly as prone to TMI as the kids! (This tells me they don't read a lot of young people's blogs.)

In AA, there's an expression regarding certain alcoholic behaviors: "I'll show you! I'll hurt me!" Deleting one's own blog out of anger (not fear) sometimes reminds me of that.

Depresso said...

On splitting up with an ex, he started to put a lot of pressure on me to delete my blog because I'd had the temerity to write about the things he'd done (cheat on me several times; rape the woman he cheated with...) It wasn't enough to tell me to delete one post (which I finally cracked and edited) he wanted the whole thing gone. Evidently, he doesn't hold women in high regard anyway, but I can only assume that he felt that the contents of my blog were unimportant, that my opinions only mattered because they could (if someone googled his name and went through thousands of hits to get to my postings) damage him in any slight way. (You know who you are, Ben Draper)

Expanding that, I wouldn't be surprised if women who delete do so because they feel that what they're blogging isn't important, it doesn't matter anyway. And men do. Because that's how we're socialised. *gets patriarchy hammer out, prepares for some smashing*

ZenDenizen said...

Funny topic... When I first started blogging in 2005, most of my posts were about my crush on my boss. He somehow went and found it and before he could read much, I ran over to my desk and deleted my entire blogger blog! Luckily I was able to repost some of it from old back ups but I really regret losing some lengthy posts from that time period.

jovan b. said...

I accidentally deleted a Lycos blog before -- two years ago. I still have another Lycos blog that I made.

Mista Jaycee said...

I miss must love books. She was a so called conservative but still she was interesting and a good foil.
Jaycee

Meowser said...

I wouldn't delete the blog I write on now, because it's not "all mine." It was founded by somebody else, and she hasn't said she isn't coming back, so I assume that one day she will start posting there again.

I was tempted to delete a Mets blog I started and abandoned in 2007 after the team started to implode. (It was called Metsie! Metsie!) I think I was just kind of embarrassed that I'd sunk so much emotional energy into something like that. Mets fans take their baseball personally.

But I think I'd be more likely to shut comments off or make the blog private or delete certain posts than I would to just nuke an entire blog. I've never deleted a whole post, let alone a whole blog. I mean, my shit has WORDS in it. Lots of them. It would feel like burning all my notebooks.

Rosa said...

I have been cleaning up mine lately, deleted some posts, may delete some more. There are some things that I don't think I'll want to read about in the future, like from the time my mother was sick, it was just a way for me to vent back then. Also, I found out one of my bosses is facebook and that is a little too close for comfort for me, with him bouncing around online who knows where he'll end up? Things were so much easier when I was the only one (out of co-workers and relatives) online.

Amber Rhea said...

I'll never delete my blog. But I know the feeling. Over the 7 years of my blogging, I've had the feeling many times. Most recently was in February when I was verbally eviscerated repeatedly for having the gall to write about my own life. That incident left me feeling different about blogging than any other incident (and there have been many, in 7 years!) had before. I'm not letting people control me, but after that, I'm not sure I can feel the same way about blogging as I did before.

Anonymous said...

I can't speak personally for gender, but as a woman I have deleted my blogs several times because of
harassment. The first time I deleted a blog it was because people at school found out about it and started commenting on it to call me a slut etc. Yes, you can friends lock your journal, yes, you can make your posts private, but I think blogs for me become this safe space where I can talk about things I wouldn't in the 'real world' and once someone starts using it as a source of attack I just want it gone.

La Lubu said...

I've only known one man who deleted his blog; although we've had online discussions and email exchanges, I don't really "know" him, and assumed that his blog deletion was due to the TMI content (he had a lot of gory details about his divorce and stuff online). I assume he either deleted it because his kids were getting old enough to find it (or had found it), or he worked through his issues and didn't want to be reminded of the bad times anymore. I think that sort of think happens to both men and women.

But it seems the main reason women delete blogs has to do with trolling or online harassment.

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