Thursday, March 8, 2012

Terri Leigh McKee 1958-2012

The Queen of Cups, from the Art Nouveau Tarot by Matt Myers.

Advice: When people ask you to stay in touch, stay in touch. Don't tell yourself "one of these days"--because you might Google them one day and find their obituary.

She came to my grandmother's funeral, whom she had loved. I promised her I would mail her copies of photos I had recently discovered, of our childhood... one of us standing next to an old Packard, another of us trying to make Kool-Aid, and still another, in front of a gaudy, awful, silver Christmas tree.

I never remembered to send them.

We grew apart... I became a crazy radical, and she remained devout and conservative. We had little in common as adults, and it was somewhat uncomfortable. You know how that is.

I still remember us singing together, "In the Year 2525" and laughing about the lyrics. We also sang it into the telephone for crank calls, which of course, you can't make any more. (The kids have no idea what they're missing.)

I had been thinking about her all week, possibly due to the death of Davy Jones. But it suddenly became pressing and important, as if I should see if I could try to find her. (She wasn't on Facebook or any of the other social media sites.) So, I did, and found this:

McKEE Terri L. McKee, age 53, passed away Monday, March 5, 2012. She was a member of St. Cecilia Catholic Church and a graduate of Westland High School, Class of '77'. Preceded in death by great-grandparents Charles and Sarah Bentz, grandparents Frank and Thelma Bragg and Adryenne and Arnold McKee, aunt Marilyn Isaac, and cousin Robert Riley. Survived by parents, John and Julia McKee; fiancee, Michael Woolfe; sister, Vicki (Mike) Davis; nephews, Nicholas Davis and Benjamin (Sara) Davis; great-nephew, Thomas Davis; along with aunts, uncles, cousins, loving relatives, and friends. Family will receive friends Sunday from 2-5 p.m. at THE TIDD FUNERAL HOME, 5265 Norwich St., Hilliard, OH 43026. A funeral service will be held 11 a.m. Monday at CONCORDIA LUTHERAN CHURCH, 225 Schoolhouse Lane, Columbus, OH 43228. Interment Sunset Cemetery.
All attempts at taking photos of photos have failed, so you will have to settle for my physical description: light light parakeet-blonde hair (100% natural) and extremely disarming pale blue eyes. Very feminine, small, thin, petite.

Aspasia offers the consoling thought that I thought of Terri because her soul was reaching out to me, to say goodbye. It is a comfort to think so.

And you folks reading: please don't forget my advice. Contact those old friends now. Don't put it off.


In the year 2525 - Zager and Evans

We got on a roller coaster once, at the Ohio State Fair, while this song was playing, full-blast. We screamed and sang along, all at once. One of those wonderful, great moments of childhood... perhaps she thought of it in her last moments, as I surely will.

Pleasant Valley Sunday - The Monkees

Mr Green, he's so serene, he's got a TV in every room... we decided we liked Mr Green and wanted TVs in every room when we grew up, too.

Goodbye, old friend.


risa bear said...

Lost my mom three weeks ago ... we used to talk once every two months, then once a month, then weekly, then about every three days -- so when her voice changed and it sounded like something had "gone out of her" I came running --3000 miles. Was in time to set up and run, under the care of pros, home hospice, and her last words were "you are a good girl."

Yes, do not neglect the mortality of those who matter. "here today, gone tomorrow" -- like the dew at sunrise.

JoJo said...

That's really wild that you missed being able to talk to her by mere days. Wow.

I tried to find an old Deadhead friend we used to write to, who lived in Missouri. We wrote back and forth for years and years; he loved writing long letters to us. We lost touch a few years after we moved to WA. So I googled his name and all I found was a letter written by a friend to a newspaper how his friend Russell Lane had died at the age of (whatever it was)...same town in MO....sounded like the same health issues he wrote about...because he couldn't get adequate health care. I found it unlikely that there was another guy in that town and state, same age, w/ the same name. I am pretty bummed. :(

West said...

I am truly sorry for your loss, Daisy. Perhaps I should re-think my "outta sight, outta mind" and touch some bases... Thank you Daisy.

Consigliere said...

I can't say that I've had any experiences exactly like this, but there is no doubt that such things can turn your head around for sure. I found out recently for example that a former college roommate died in a spelunking accident. We hadn't been super close, and he died some time ago, but it was still a shock. I can only imagine how hard this has been on you. Our friends from long ago are special indeed.

JoJo....I'm sorry for your loss too. Close friends, even those far away, are treasurers.

risa bear....sorry for your loss as well. My mother and I had what you could call a strained relationship...that is if you're being kind. We didn't get on at all. I found out that she had died six months after she passed when my wife did a web search and found the funeral home reference to her death. I am glad you had a loving relationship with your mom. does take a big man to admit a mistake. Thanks.

bryce said...

u made me cry w/that one, d.

so sorry. xoxo

Danny said...

Sorry about you losing your friend.