The Herman Cain Follies

The Herman Cain sexual harassment chronicles continue to amuse and amaze.


As you undoubtedly know, such determined individuals never stop at just one--and there is usually a pattern of behavior. Republican rock star candidate (and Godfather's Pizza CEO) Herman Cain is no different than the rest of them.

As was true of Bill Clinton, they are now coming out of the woodwork.

First, the initial accusations, wherein two female employees of the National Restaurant Association (NRA) complained to several co-workers and superiors about nasty behavior by Cain (even quitting their jobs over it, which is why I believed them). Then, a third woman who once worked with Cain, came forward, claiming (among other things) that he sought to party with her privately. She found a way to keep her distance, hence, keeping her job.

Woman number four ain't skeered (hearty applause from DEAD AIR) and is the first to stand up at a press conference and point her finger directly at Cain. As a result, fourth accuser Sharon Bialek is under attack, her personal business, job history and bankruptcy made public. (ASIDE: At the link, you will see one of the things used to smear her is the fact that she has had "nine jobs in seventeen years," and my first thought was, "Is that all?") Cain is supposedly replying to these accusations today. Uh-huh.

Meanwhile, Bialek fires back that she feels sorry for Mrs Cain, saying out loud what many of us are thinking. Cain talks chummy guy-talk to Jimmy Kimmel, chortling over how much he dislikes Bialek's famous attorney, Gloria Allred. (Sounds like he's a little rattled to me, probably because Allred plays for keeps.)

And now, Woman Number Five has arrived! You can't make this stuff up.

This is just too priceless not to quote in its entirety:

A former employee of the United States Agency for International Development says Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain asked her to help arrange a dinner date for him with a female audience member following a speech he delivered nine years ago.

Donna Donella, 40, of Arlington, said the USAID paid Cain to deliver a speech to businessmen and women in Egypt in 2002, during which an Egyptian businesswoman in her 30s asked Cain a question.

"And after the seminar was over," Donella told The Washington Examiner, "Cain came over to me and a colleague and said, 'Could you put me in touch with that lovely young lady who asked the question, so I can give her a more thorough answer over dinner?'"

Donella, who no longer works for USAID, said they were suspicious of Cain's motives and declined to set up the date. Cain responded, "Then you and I can have dinner." That's when two female colleagues intervened and suggested they all go to dinner together, Donella said.

Cain exhibited no inappropriate sexual behavior during the dinner, though he did order two $400 bottles of wine and stuck the women with the bill, she said.

The next time the women heard from Cain was Christmas, when he sent them his gospel CD.

Donella said she felt it was important to describe her encounter with Cain after hearing more serious allegations of sexual harassment brought by other women.

"I couldn't swear that he had some untoward intentions, but we all thought his tone was suspect and we didn't feel comfortable putting him in touch with that woman," Donella recalled.

"I think [Cain] should not be a serious candidate for the presidential nomination because of what I've seen," said Donella, an independent who said she voted for President Obama in 2008 and probably will again next year. "He's not a person I would want running the country."

Cain's campaign did not immediately respond to inquiries from The Examiner.

GOSPEL CD!!!! That really makes the story, doesn't it?

Although there has been concern that this is (or might become) an ugly racist spectacle, so far, I think everyone (except Cain) has minded their manners. In fact, Cain raked in $350,000 worth of campaign contributions in the week following the accusations. It doesn't seem to have tarnished his rock star status with the GOP. Why would it? For conservatives, repeatedly grabbing at women's crotches is a PLUS. Yes, THAT'S the man they want in the White House! Whatta guy! (High-fives all round.)

One of my wittier female friends said he should run on the slogan, "Pizza and Pussy." Republicans will eat it up, you should pardon expression.

Stay tuned, sports fans. Herman Cain implosion imminent.