Me and Valerie

The problem is, I am the same height and weight as Valerie Bertinelli, and she is going around telling everyone she is fat. She is losing weight with Kirstie Alley on Jenny Craig! She's on magazine covers! She's on TV commercials! She's telling Rachel Ray about her fabulous new diet! How marvelous! (/sarcasm)

When these famous people decide they will lose weight for some major league sponsor like Jenny Craig, what if they don't? What if they can't? What happens then? Judy Garland time? Where's that dexedrine?