Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Cry Baby Cry

There are unmistakable moments of KARMIC JUSTICE in one's life, what the Catholic Church calls penalties for temporal sin.

Yes, you think, here it is. I'm getting it back now.

Sometimes, we already know we did a bad thing, but just didn't know how bad it was, until it was done back to us, years later.

Other times, we really didn't know what we had done, as in Father, forgive them, they know not what they do. It was only when it came back to us, that we truly beheld our original act in all of it's ugliness and utter self-centeredness.

And that's how karma works. We learn.


The woman in the apartment next to mine likes to put her three-year-old in the hallway, usually once a day or so. She is obviously fucking fed up with him, cannot endure one more minute and puts him out there to avoid killing him. She places a parcel of plastic bats, balls and wheeled objects next to him, and closes the door. He's fine for --what? five minutes, ten minutes?--which we often forget is a long time for a child, the length of public school recesses. Soon, he is whiny and bored. He wants in, but she isn't ready to let him back in. She only wants a fucking break already.

How do I know what she is thinking? How indeed?


The three-year-old's temper tantrum invariably starts with lots of whiny "mooooo-ooooommmm----eeeee!" and then segues into ss--sss-ssssniffing and random sobs, finally exploding into full-blown, I-Love-Lucy-style wailing. It doesn't even seem accurate to call it CRYING. No, screaming, commences.

And iron-willed mom is not giving in.

I suppose it never occurred to her that we ALL do not want to listen to the screaming? Can't she give him a lesson in independence INSIDE HER OWN APARTMENT? Why is she abusing US in the process? Is this self-centered or what? I do not want to hear a child screaming at 96-decibels for 10 minutes!

Oh, I see. Hold up.

This is what they all felt about me, when I left my screaming child outside.

Funny how that works sometimes, isn't it?


belledame222 said...


i feel bad for the kid, though. i mean, i get the impulse--i throw my cat in the bedroom sometimes when he's driving me nuts--but, i dunno, doesn't the child feel abandoned or something?

Daisy said...

I guess so.

I wasn't Mother of the Year, or even close.

In my observation, few of us are.

Anonymous said...

My concern is this is a denseless child left alone for any prdator, human or animal. Why is someone in the complex not getting this woman the counseling the woman so obviously needs? Children must be taught not to annoy society and parents but in a healthy soul nourishing way. The kid will have abandonment issues, aggresion issues(bats really) and defintely trust issues. This woman must become a parent. PARENTS DEAL WITH TOUGH ISSUES WITH LOVE AND WISDOM AND IF THEY DON'T HAVE IT WITHIN THEMSELVES THEY FIND A SUPPORT SYSTEM. YOU MAY BE THE ONLY PERSON TO HELP THIS CHILD AND MOTHER.IF YOU FEAR RETALIATION THEN CALL THE PROPER AUTHORITIES AND DO NOT RISH AN ENCOUNTER WITH AN OVERHEATED ADULT. BESIDESIT TOO DAMN HOT OR COLD TO PUT AKID OUTSIDE

Daisy said...

In the hallway, Beth, not outside. It's fine in the hallway, temp wise.

Talk to you about the rest later, when I seeya.

bint alshamsa said...

Anonymous had some of the same thoughts I had. When I was a kid, I once stuck a bobby pin into an electrical socket and gave myself a nice jolt. I was several years older than this child and under adult supervision. I did it so quick that nobody had a chance to grab it from me. I just keep thinking about what all might have happened to me if no one had been around. It only takes a second for horrible things to happen to children!

I don't want to condemn this woman because, given the rash of child killings committed by parents in my state, she could definitely be doing a lot worse.

I'm not so sure that calling the authorities is the route I'd go in this situation. Lots of people just don't have any support system to turn to and they are truly doing the best they can with the parenting skills they possess. Before I'd consider calling the authorities, I think I'd try a few other options.

Perhaps you could get your hands on some parenting tips brochures or maybe the names of any local organizations that offer free parenting skill classes. I know that some TANF offices (welfare/food stamp office) have classes like this. You could put these together in an envelope and send them to her in the mail. My suggestion would be to do so anonymously so that she doesn't close herself off from you completely if receiving this information embarrasses her. You might also want to include some words of encouragement or something that acknowledges how you can see that she loves her child and that you know what it's like to need more help than you're getting.

I'm sure you could think of something more. That's just what I came up with. Other people might have better ideas. God knows I'm still trying to figure out how to take care of my own kid too!