Thursday, November 10, 2011

Is Rick Perry stoned?

Some of you might have seen Texas Governor Rick Perry's amazing meltdown last night, during the CNBC Republican presidental debate. It was PAINFUL. He couldn't remember the names of government agencies, after proclaiming they ought to be abolished. "Which ones?" he was asked. Perry just lost it, for several seconds. Long... seconds... and then he said "Oops!" which was as weird as anything else.

Congressman Ron Paul helpfully tried to goose his memory, which made me think of dad trying to coach their kid in a spelling bee. Just awful!

I was mucking around in my kitchen, with garbage bags, cat food and such, listening to the debate. You usually don't need to watch these things, and I find that when I listen and don't watch, I hear very clearly whether the politician-in-question knows what they are actually talking about or not. Thus, when Perry's sudden-silence occurred, I heard it before I saw it. At first, I thought my cable had gone out. And then I heard, um, um, um, er, uh... oops.

Holy shit, did I really hear that? I did! "Perry is done!" I happily bellowed to Mr Daisy, and quickly logged onto Twitter to assess the instant damage.

It was bad.

I bet Rick Perry could name his three favorite drinks -- @chaplinlives

Will 'Oops' be Perry's campaign epitaph? -- @CNN Political Ticker

Top Perry fundraiser calls campaign "over" -- @TPM (Talking Points Memo)

That quiet "oops" Perry said at the end of his brain-cramp was rather poignant, the soft splat of his presidential hopes. -- @James Wolcott

Xanax. I think it's Xanax. Not booze. -- @pattonoswalt

now we all know why Perry said he might skip the debates -- @downwithtyranny
And finally, for the win, Andy Borowitz, who kept tweeting hilarious one-liners throughout the remaining debate:
"Mr. Perry: can you name three states other than Texas?" "California, Oklahoma... um... nope."

Rick Perry's candidacy is coming dangerously close to qualifying as a prank.

Rick Perry: "I would like to abolish Social Security because I can't remember my goddamn number."

Rick Perry Briefly Forgets Own Last Name

I used to believe in evolution, but Rick Perry is a pretty strong argument against it.

Rick Perry: "Before I answer that question, could somebody hold my hair while I vomit?"

Rick Perry: "We need to transition from Social Security to Living Social."
Thus, I laughed myself sick through the rest of the debate, which included Herman Cain referring to Nancy Pelosi as "Princess Nancy." (Serious question: Are these people for real?)

After Perry's embarrassingly bizarre speech in New Hampshire (which is where I got the screen-captures for this page), this will just bury him. After that speech, there were lots of rumors that he was high, even among the GOP. After last night, there can be little doubt.

For my part, I'm glad I rescinded my first prediction. I thought any conservative southern white male who Loves Jesus could easily win South Carolina, but after the last debate that featured Perry's extended goofiness, I decided he wasn't ready for prime time. And now, we see he is a Texas Stoner(tm)! He needs to join up with Congressman Paul for a Free the Weed ticket.

And get some PRIDE, dude. Next time they ask you something, answer "Who the hell cares?" like a proper pothead. Why look dumb if you don't have to? Go for the brazenly stoned vote, and hold your head up! If you can.

(giggles)

~*~

ANNOUNCEMENT:

Occupy Greenville, along with MoveOn and other Occupiers from around the Carolinas will be meeting the Rethuglicans in person at Wofford College in Spartanburg on Saturday, for the CBS Saturday night debate. We will be giving them a HEARTY SOUTH CAROLINA WELCOME! If you would like to join us, come on down, it's gonna be a party!

Map to Wofford here. We can't go onto campus (undoubtedly why they chose the venue), but we will be at the entrance to Wofford on Church Street. Yes, we have a permit. Be law abiding, remember, this is Jesusland. Join us if you can.

Make signs, bring warm bodies, we love the children and the dogs and all of that.

BRING IT!

3 comments:

Dave Dubya said...

The circus of clowns will continue. This is giving the country a good look at just how laughably ignorant, and indifferent to most Americans, the Republican mentality is.

JoJo said...

Those twitter posts are hilarious! I didn't see it...I havent' been following the news at all, but now I am going to have to hunt down the video of it. Too funny!

Daisy said...

I agree, it was that ridiculous "Ooops" comment he made at the end that just made it over the top cringe-worthy.