If Men Had Hot Flashes

Of course, we know that hot flashes are caused by menopause. But what causes them? Why do they continue in some women and not in others? Why do some foods seem to precipitate them? Why do they occur in the dead of night?

As you may or may not know, if you look up "causes of hot flashes"--HOW they happen, the physiological mechanism--you repeatedly read the following:

The exact cause of hot flashes isn't known, but the signs and symptoms point to factors affecting the function of your body's thermostat — the hypothalamus. This area at the base of your brain regulates body temperature and other basic processes. The estrogen reduction you experience during menopause may disrupt hypothalamic function, leading to hot flashes.

Well, duh!

I could have written that. I know what the hypothalamus does. Most of us who wake up soaking wet, have figured out that it's something like that.

But what CAUSES the hypothalamus to go wacky? What is the exact way lowered-estrogen affects the hypothalamus? How and why does hormone-level impact it?

(((crickets)))

Wait, they can figure out how to make hard-on drugs for old guys, but they still don't know what causes hot flashes?????

Now, let me guess. Why do you suppose that is?

Are women, specifically OLDER women, just not that important? Why has some high-end study not been conducted? THIS IS 2011!

Wait, let me guess again. Someone tried to fund a study, and couldn't get funded. The pharmaceutical industry specialized in giving women cancer for decades, and that was judged good enough. It was only when various medical studies came out, definitively condemning Hormone Replacement Therapy as a medical risk, that many women started studying the issue for ourselves. After all, our mothers and grandmothers had used HRT, and we assumed we might also.

But my mother had breast cancer (when she was exactly my age) and my grandmother had fibrocystic breast disease (to such an extent that she had several large, but benign, breast cysts surgically removed). Hm, thought the baby-boomer women. Maybe they're right, and we shouldn't use astronomical levels of hormones? (And why didn't they study the safety of hormones, before dosing millions of women with them? Well, why would they?)

Okay, we thought, let's study the condition, and figure out what might help; first, the cause of hot flashes. If we can isolate the cause, we can figure out what natural or alternative treatments might be. At the very least, we can figure out catalysts and try to minimize their occurrence.

(((crickets)))

They. Don't. Know.

They put a man on the moon (man on the moooooon) -- so yes, it is reasonable to assume they might care about their moms' discomfort. Isn't it?

Ha!

I started menopause in 2006, and as regular readers know, I celebrated my postmenopausal self (defined as one year of not menstruating) by starting this blog in June of 2007. I still have hot flashes, although not the wretched slow-boil kind (known as "ember flashes"), which are mercifully behind me. Some women continue to have those, too, though. Why? And why are they notably less common in Asian women? Is this cultural, and possibly diet-related? A good way to determine this would be to study hot flashes in Asian women still living in Asian countries and eating Asian diets, vs Asian women who live in the USA and eat the usual American diet of processed foods, salty snacks and Taco Bell. Is there a difference in number of hot flashes? Or perhaps there is a genetic component.

And have they done this? I have no college degree, and yet, I can figure out this much.

(((crickets)))

Last night--BANG, in the middle of the night, I woke up and wiped off the sweat. I wondered if it was something I ate at a wedding reception, and then... was instantly peeved: I SHOULD KNOW THIS! I SHOULD KNOW WHAT FOODS TO AVOID, DAMMIT! WHERE IS MY GUIDE FOR THE MENOPAUSAL SWEATY WOMAN, WRITTEN BY SOME ASSOCIATION???!!! As the diabetic associations and the gluten-intolerance associations and the salt-free associations offer guides for their people.

No, they can't provide this, since they are clueless.

Women have lived on this planet as long as men, and yet--? Hot flashes are still described as a "mystery."

And so, in a nod to Gloria Steinem's witty piece titled "If Men Could Menstruate"--here is what occurred to me in the dead of night.

~*~

If Men Had Hot Flashes, there would be a Hot Flashes Association (HFA) with foods marked "HFA" (logo inside a macho male symbol), the way Cheerios have a little heart on them, for "heart healthy." Needless to say, they would KNOW which foods to eat and which not to eat, since extensive research and causality studies would exist.

If Men Had Hot Flashes, the Weather Channel would feature a daily Hot Flash Report, instructing men with maps of Hot Flash Regions for the day (since extensive research will show that weather is a factor). Men at work will ask each other (not in whispers, either), what the Hot Flash Report said that morning: "Did anyone catch the Hot Flash report? Whew, is it hot in here?" Raucous laughter and high-fives.

If Men Had Hot Flashes, there would be hot-flash drugs tomorrow morning. And they would be advertised in pricey, cutesy TV ads, just like Viagra, Cialis, etc. (Drugs with NO female equivalent, BTW, since older women's sexual enjoyment is as low-priority in this culture as the dilemma of hot flashes is.)

If Men Had Hot Flashes, when it's time to toast at the wedding and they flush unexpectedly, they will stand up boldly and proudly announce, "I AM HAVING A HOT FLASH!"--and all men in the room will applaud, laugh and cheer. It will be like announcing which team is going to the Orange Bowl. No shame, no apologies. No giggling by anybody when they turn beet-red. What is to apologize for? It's a sign of MANHOOD, isn't it? And therefore, it would be roundly celebrated.

If Men Had Hot Flashes, women would hear how we really don't understand the mysteries of the human body, the stages of life, the natural progression of age. We would hear jokes about "women menopause"--how women suddenly have to acquire sports cars and young hottie-boys in old age. Or is that just too funny to think about? Yes, you're right, never mind. (Let's skip this one, too sci-fi to be believable.)

If Men Had Hot Flashes, they would brag about how hot it was, how long it lasted, and who had the biggest. They would institute suitable competitions and a Champion thus installed: Hot Flash Champion. And everyone would know this man's name.

If Men Had Hot Flashes, they would probably wake up their wives at night and demand to be taken to the ER. Some Nice Guys(tm) would quietly and politely not wake the Missus, take a cold shower, and go back to sleep... only to be called MANGINA, WIMP, WUSS, PUSSY-WHIPPED and such, by his fellow males. Suitably chastened, Nice Guy(tm) will attempt to make a big fuss next time, like a proper man should.

If Men Had Hot Flashes, there would be literary works throughout history about Hot Flashes. Shakespeare's Henry V would have given a rousing speech, "We happy Few! We who burn on the pyre manhood!" (Males thrust weapons into the air and shout in response: AGGGHHH!!!!) TS Eliot would write great poems about his hot flashes, while Hemingway would turn it into an existential drama about hunting. And we would have to study all of this in school, and it would be nothing to take lightly or laugh about. THIS IS MANHOOD WE ARE TALKING ABOUT, people!

If Men Had Hot Flashes, John Wayne would have said: "I gotta hot flash, pilgrim, whats it to ya?" This famous manly comment, shrugging off the tortures of the damned, will make it into Bartlett's Quotations.

If Men Had Hot Flashes, well, I wouldn't even have to write this. ;)

Oh no, there goes Tokyo

We have a giant Godzilla poster hanging on our wall, which will probably not surprise anyone.

History shows again and again how nature points up the folly of man.

~*~

Blue Oyster Cult - Godzilla

Fred Phelps attended Bob Jones University; rape-apologist now on BJU board

I initially wanted to title this "A Tale of Two Phelps"--which I think is catchy, but lots of people might not realize WHICH Phelps I am talking about.

Yes, that one.

Bob Jones University is currently pretending that Fred Phelps did not go to their school. Is that FUNNY or what? I can remember when they would have been proud, but demonstrating at the funerals of Elizabeth Edwards and Steve Jobs? Even too embarrassing for BJU!

At left, courtesy of fabulous Camille Lewis (BJU-purge victim), is Fred Phelps' 1948 yearbook photo from Bob Jones University. Although they can try to hide their nasty history, they CAN'T erase old yearbooks owned by students.

~*~

Let's backtrack. When did I first learn about the infamous Bob Jones University Memory Hole?

I distinctly remember driving to work (in the very late 90s or very early OOs) and hearing on local talk radio that Bob Jones IV, BJU heir apparent, had been arrested for drunken driving in "the DC metro area." This would be during his brief stint at Marvin Olasky's influential WORLD magazine, headquartered in DC. I remember cackling in glee [1] and telling several people about it. This fact was also mentioned briefly (one or two lines, at most) in the Greenville News, since I promptly went snooping for it. (I NOW know I should have cut it out and saved it, but I did not yet realize the Memory Hole was in operation.)

At this time, I was borderline Opus Dei myself (saints preserve us) and was in the grip of that Old Time Religion, like really really old. I considered Protestants heretics, and the more Protestant, the more heretical. Since I live in Jesusland (see map HERE), this gave me Major Attitude. I was in the religious minority, and I enjoyed it.

I would compare my self-righteous pseudo-Opus-Dei buzz to the same buzz I got from being a Maoist for a few scant months (nobody lasts long under the Chairman)... it's a feeling of certitude that I often miss, now that I am not certain about so many things. Being existentially certain takes a lot of the hesitation, confusion and fear out of everyday life. Therefore, I totally understand the hypnotic draw of fundamentalism.

Nonetheless, I still hold BJU accountable for the fact that Greenville is just NOW emerging from its status as a cultural backwater (due to international businesses moving into the area). And our cultural-backwater-status can be laid directly at BJU's door.

Greenville County remains (according to Rick Santorum) the most conservative county in the USA. This is because, as I have written before, Bob Jones University-affiliated politicos pack local GOP precinct committee meetings and draw the Republican party to the far right on both social and economic issues. If local Republicans don't genuflect at BJU, they can lose important early-primary support. [2] It is framed as a RELIGIOUS duty (see Dominionism) to pack these meetings, as well as the State party conventions. They can then easily elect each other as delegates to the National party conventions, since they are the ones voting. They were tutored in this process decades ago (remember the Moral Majority?), and they know how it's done. (I wish liberals did, but alas, you CAN'T HERD liberals, one of those truisms that is all too true.)

Short version, we have a very backward area, with lots of nervous people that are reluctant to question BJU. No, let me amend that, SCARED. Its like that LAW AND ORDER episode I saw last night, wherein someone says about the Mafia: Do you know who you are dealing with? Indeed, BJU is the political mafia around here, and their tentacles reach very far. I can't even tell you how many Letters to the Editor I have had censored, and the name of BOB JONES UNIVERSITY edited out. Really. It is verboten to name them, just like the name of G-d.

The argument with the editorial-page-maven always goes like so: "Is it really necessary to name BJU?"

Well, I don't give a rats ass if its necessary or not, that is the LETTER I WROTE and I would like it printed in its entirety.

"But you can make your point without mentioning BJU."

1) No, I can't, since they are the ones running the joint, and 2) Can't you cut the Soviet-style repression and just print it as it is? There are no cuss words and no libelous statements, so just PRINT THE DAMN THING.

Ha. Are you kidding? Dream on, papist!

I finally understood that they were indeed In Charge of the Upstate, when this happened to me several times in succession. The one time I actually got the words Bob Jones University into print (still heavily edited, as all my letters-to-the-editor have been), they allowed a TORRENT of robotic, badly-written Stepford-student responses to it, including one from a self-identified Catholic.

The kicker was when one of my letters-to-the-editor mentioned Bob Jones VI's DUI. This was germane to the topic, which was alcohol sales and the locations of bars in the city limits. BJU had released some predictable Baptist statement about alcohol as the boogeyman and in light of BJ-IV's arrest, I thought that was damned amusing. And I said so.

The editor-maven demanded to know where I got this information... I exhaled in disgust and informed her, HER OWN NEWSPAPER PRINTED IT! She demanded to know when and where, and of course, not realizing this would ever be questioned, I could not provide this information. It was therefore going to be heavily edited, and I said, you know what? Fugedaboutit.

Okay, so I finally got it. As a failed ex-Maoist, I sure did get it: The Memory Hole. Unpleasant historic facts are ERASED by Bob Jones University, which is constantly changing its own history. Oceania has ALWAYS been at war with Eastasia! For example, the fact that their founder, Bob Jones Sr. was pro-KKK, is another little detail they have attempted to erase. (And they certainly don't like it when people celebrate "Founder's Day" by talking about the activities and beliefs of their racist founder, whom they still won't criticize.)

And now, I learn the fascinating (and thoroughly hidden) fact that Fred Phelps is a former student. This makes sense, not simply because he is a crackpot-loony tune (which they specialize in producing over there), but also because when the GLBT Christian group Soulforce came to demonstrate at Bob Jones University (see video in this post), Phelps and his people came to demonstrate against Soulforce AND Bob Jones University, which made no sense to onlookers. Wait, isn't he on their side? Why is he against BJU? Huh?

And now, we understand. Apparently, an old grudge against Dad. (What would Freud say?)

~*~

I first saw the mention of Fred, when another Phelps (apparently no relation, but I wouldn't be surprised if that fact had been carefully deep-sixed too) was appointed to the BJU Board. Many angry tweets informed me that Charles Phelps, a sincere rape apologist, is the Man of the Hour.

And WOW, is he ever.

Some background:

Once upon a time there was 15-year-old Tina Dooley. Tina was babysitting for 39-year-old Ernest Willis, a fellow church member at the Trinity Baptist Church in Concord, New Hampshire. Unfortunately, according to police, Willis was a degenerate who liked to rape teenage girls.

Tina ended up pregnant by her assailant. But instead of turning Willis in — or tuning him up behind the church. Pastor Charles Phelps had a better way to deal with the girl’s rape.

Tina and church members say Phelps forced Tina to stand before the congregation and apologize for the ‘sin’ of getting raped. According to some Tina, Willis (pictured top) offered to send her out of state to get an abortion. He also offered to punch her in the stomach really hard in hopes of inducing a miscarriage, thus saving himself a Planned Parenthood bill.

Pastor Phelps decided that neither of those options were very Biblical. So, Phelps made arrangements to send her to friends from a church Phelps had previously been the youth pastor in Colorado. Apparently, with her mother’s consent, Tina was off to Colorado to have her baby.

Police initially investigated her case, but say the probe went cold when police were unable to locate Tina.

Thirteen years later, Tina (Dooley) Anderson was located living with her husband and 3 children in Arizona.

Willis now admits he had sex with Tina, but says it was consensual. Pastor Phelps claims he reported the assault to the cops back in 1997, but they weren’t interested in pursuing the case, which pretty much sounds like baloney.

This incident was even the subject of an ABC 20/20 show.

And now, Charles Phelps is on the BJU board... they should all get along just fine!

For their part, BJU is claiming Chuck Phelps was on the board before the accusations, which is more bullshit, easily proven this time. [4] (The ex-BJU people, familiar with the Memory Hole, save everything, and God Bless them.)

More information on Bob Jones University's installation of a known rape apologist on their board:

I Support Tina Anderson (contains petition to remove Phelps)

Millstones about the neck (a must-read, to understand the psychological dynamic of the place)

How Pastor Chuck Phelps "Church Disciplined" a 15-Year-Old Pregnant Rape Victim (The well-timed period)

Illegal sexual abuse policy at Bob Jones University (Sharper Iron) [Edit: this is a fundamentalist forum, and at least one person has asked that I post a warning here, notifying readers of this fact.--DD added 10:47pm Nov 4, 2011]

Dear Board: Help Chuck Chuck (contains all the email addresses you need!)

It will be interesting to see how they dig themselves out of the Memory Hole this time. If nothing else, it sends a clear message to Christian parents: It's open season on your sweet, young, virginal daughters at BJU.

Are you sure you want to send them there?


~*~



1) As an alcoholic, I have earned the right to laugh when people get busted for anything related to alcohol consumption. (The first step is admitting you have a problem!) Especially regarding an institution that does not allow its students to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, let alone have AA on campus.

What DO you expect, in that case? Alcoholism is no respecter of persons... and that includes relatives of the founder. Get a clue.

2) It is instructive to read the list of "notable BJU graduates", which includes greedy pension-collector Senator David Thomas, Terry Haskins (former Speaker Pro Tempore, South Carolina House of Representatives), Tim LaHaye (co-author of LEFT BEHIND novel series), Senator Tim Hutchinson, Congresswoman Wendy Nanney, Congressman Sam Rohrer, Walter Fremont (((screams))) and various other conservative busybodies.

Render under Caesar? Not hardly. Do not underestimate their political influence.

Honorary degree recipients include: John Ashcroft, former SC governor David Beasley, Lindsey Graham, Jesse Helms, Lester Maddox, Ian Paisley, Chiang Kai-shek, Strom Thurmond (of course) and George Wallace.

3) Some time ago, I read an emotionally-wrenching account of a covered-up sexual assault at BJU, that I can't find now. Possibly it has been deleted since. I do remember that she was in the Art Department, if that rings any bells.

4) EDIT: Charles Phelps was, and then wasn't, on the BJU board. (He currently is.) The rather suspicious timeline, in which he is on and then off, and then back on the BJU board, is on Camille's blog, with screen-capture evidence. --DD added 8:45pm Nov 4, 2011.

5) EDIT: Fred Phelps has been added to the Wikipedia page of BJU's "notable persons", apparently since last night. ;) That was when I inspected it last, during an internet conversation about Agnes Moorehead, also mentioned. (Although she played a famous witch on TV, her money was good enough for the Jones boys!)

They have decided to cop to Fred Phelps after all, but only after calling him crazy. Oh well, better late than never!--DD added 1:14pm Nov 5, 2011.

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Wordless Wednesday: Lamb's Bread

Interior of Lamb's Bread vegan restaurant in Columbia. They have all kinds of amazing African statues, artwork and sculptures. Entering the establishment is like entering another world.

They make a fabulous vegan Reuben sandwich, to die for. The restaurant is one of the great hidden treasures of our State Capitol; if you are in town, check them out.