Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Random complaining

I don't like:

...people who live in apartments and insist upon owning gigantic dogs that can't be exercised on a damn patio, so they bark all day long from boredom.

...southerners who claim various pot-luck offerings are vegetarian, but when pressed, admit said vegetable was fried in bacon grease.

...people who say the radiation in Japan is waaaay over there, so don't you worry yourself over it. The earth doesn't turn and the air never blows and water all stays in one place, so there's no way radiation can spread... oh, wait.

...de-clawing kitties. DON'T DO THAT. And I have the torn-up couches to prove that I don't believe in it. But I can also attest that torn-up couches are a small price to pay for well-mannered, happy felines.

...the way Farmville is always trying to separate you from your credit card, to purchase much-ballyhooed "Farm Cash"--with which you can buy cartoon lakes and donkeys and other dopey shit you don't need... hey, it's just like REAL LIFE!

...And finally...(((drum roll))

Male "enhancement" ads, like the endless infomercial I am listening to right now, wherein a dynamite sex-supplement promises to make you BIGGER and BETTER. It's probably just L-Arginine, an amino acid that can be taken by itself in large doses; up to 3 grams safely. (Works on women too! :D ) And it's lots cheaper than these TV-boosted supplements, which likely include Yohimbe, something that can adversely affect men with hypertension. (The difference between simple L-Arginine and these hotshot supplements can be as much as 100 bucks, so buyer beware.) I also hate the Viagra commercials for using the legendary and fabulous song "Spoonful" in the ads. The not-so-subtle racism of using a well-known black blues song directed at suburban white men with nice cars (not to mention the comprehensive medical insurance that covers these pricey Rx drugs; some insurers don't) seems a little obvious: If you take Viagra/Cialis/etc, you will be as sexy as black men, seems to be the significance of the blues-man message. And then there is the additional subtlety of the title and concept: you only need a spoonful of Viagra.

But even without music, all the winky-winky stuff in the ads (any moment can turn into a Cialis moment!) is offensive and junior high school. Yes, we all know how we get horny just by hammering nails (think about the Freudian implications of that for a second) and hanging out with the mister, as he does his manly household tasks. And then, a knowing look is exchanged, pecks on the mouth, and they leave the room together, arm in arm. We all know that our sexual experiences are EXACTLY like that, now don't we? (((rolls eyes)))

I do appreciate that the women in the ads are the same age as the men. In fact, these ads might be the only place on TV that this is true! Mostly, hot new actresses are paired with older, non-hotties. (Think about LAW AND ORDER and the age disparities.. gray hair and such are standard, but the women are all young.) This is true in movies as well. What can we surmise from this?: That BigPharma is aware they should try to be realistic in these ads--no Lolitas anywhere. And besides, maybe that is intimidating to older men? Or do they (as I suspect) just find the idea silly? (All they want is some familiar intimacy with the wife, not the babysitter.)

The CARS in the ads, and the fact that Viagra now sponsors NASCAR, well, that shouldn't be surprising. PERFORMANCE is a big word in all advertising related to men: Stereos, cell phones, cars, musical instruments, razor blades, athletic shoes, all promise various wonderful levels of PERFORMANCE, a word you rarely hear in commercials for women's products.

Now, I wonder why that is.

8 comments:

Rootietoot said...

Because a big part of males self esteem is based on his PERFORMANCE, while a woman's is firmly set in what she looks like. Right? RIGHT. The viagra/cialis commercials don't show Lolita because it's likely the wife that's picking up the prescription from the pharmacy.
What i can't figure out is why they're sitting in separate bathtubs on the edge of a lake. I mean, that's where we all keep our clawfoot tubs, right? With plumbing and all! yes? of course! I know I do!

So...this L-Arginine...you say it works on women? in what capacity? Does it boost libido or what?

DaisyDeadhead said...

Okay, this might be the funniest comment of the year:

The viagra/cialis commercials don't show Lolita because it's likely the wife that's picking up the prescription from the pharmacy.

HAHAHAA!!!

Mr Daisy asked the same thing about the clawfoot tubs, and wondered if this means you get some free spa-type new-age retreat in Sedona or someplace like that, with every refill. (The Rx prices, God knows, are almost that high!)

L-Arginine is the amino acid that affects circulation... and YES it does work on libido (everybody's!), also try the herb MACA... I use them together as a cocktail. SURE DOES! :D I prefer the brand "Whole world botanicals" for Maca, but it may be hard to obtain in your area. L-Arginine is cheap to make and is likely at the drug store. I take 1000 mg for the purposes mentioned here, but men habitually go up to 3000 mg (3 gr) safely. It's the main ingredient in Enzyte (the particularly unsubtle commercials about Bob and his new "SACKFULL OF PRIDE"). Very safe, give it a shot! DAISY TESTED AND APPROVED. :D

JoJo said...

I sent you an email and then saw your comment. Thanks for the info, I think that's what I need! :D

Regarding the commercials you talk about, aren't they wretched? And what a horrible version of Spoonful with that awful warbling "awwwhoooooohoooo". I guess I'm spoiled by the Dead's version.

The Cialis clawfoot tubs are a mystery to me as well. One commercial showed the metal faucet and knobs sticking up at the other end of the man's tub, so I thought maybe that was not-so-subliminal advertising.

Those Enzyte commercials though...they are a scream!

senchi said...

OMG! i sure do aggree about the dogs. you know what i'm going thru right now...

& hope easter was good for you.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I get those ads all the time..for bigger dicks and the little blue pill..sigh*>

Rootietoot said...

Is this something I only take when I want to, or would I need to take it all the time?
I like the Enzyte/Bob commercials, because they're honest. And the wife always has the happiest look on her face, like she's stoned. Plus they're normal looking, not Hollywood Hotties.

Laci the Chinese Crested said...

Daisy, I have a cheesburger recipe that you could always leave out the burger.

But the Red Dragon Cheese, mushrooms, and carmelised onions are a definite! It isn't anything without those.

You could always cover a piece of tofu or seitan with all that stuff.

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