Governor Nikki Haley, Vogue-vetted fashion plate, models her trademark designer duds, while mouthing some indecipherable nonsense in Tampa at the Republican Convention. Since she has proudly bankrupted the working class of South Carolina, this is the closest the rest of us will ever get to designer clothes, so you might want to tune in tonight at 10pm to see what she wears.
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The good news is, maybe she will get a national gig and GO AWAY.
The bad news? Tonight, the unbearable Haley-fawning reaches a fever pitch... Newsweek, Vogue, Christiane Amanpour, The View, a hardcover biography and now she is at last ready for prime time. All this prepping, all this hoopla, and you can almost hear em sing THERE SHE IS, MISS AMERICA... as she struts those infamous mega-pricey stilettos up to the GOP podium. This is it! She's ready for her close-up, Mr DeMille!!!
Some of the up-and-coming politicians who have historically been selected for this coveted time-slot at past conventions include Sarah Palin, Barack Obama and Bill Clinton.
Yes, our little Nikki has hit the big time. And all she's done is creatively manage her dad's books and dodge an ethics investigation. Oh yeah, and receive endless genuflection from the national press as an attractive Indian-American female star for the GOP; currently the youngest governor in the country.
As Newsweek famously summed her up two years ago:
[The GOP's] freshly anointed gubernatorial nominee arrived: Nikki Haley, 38 years old and Indian-American, wearing a snug, saffron-colored suit and stilettos you could impale a small animal with. Only a few months ago, she was an obscure state representative. Then former Alaska governor Sarah Palin endorsed her, the Tea Party movement embraced her, and she proceeded to dispatch a U.S. congressman, the lieutenant governor, and the attorney general in the Republican primary and runoff. Now she’s the hottest thing in South Carolina politics. And if she wins in November, becoming the state’s first female and first nonwhite governor, she’ll likely rocket to national prominence and secure a spot in the GOP firmament.Yes, and here we are.
Ron Paul draws thousands of eager, dedicated young kids to the Republican Party and hosts raucous Republican rallies, yet he is denied a speaking spot at the Republican Convention, while our governor, a walking disaster (albeit a very fashionable one), who can't even make sure our roads are repaired, is officially anointed as the hot new thing.
As Ayn Rand would say, choke on it, Congressman Paul, life isn't fair.
And all because she endorsed Romney early and allowed Mitt and Ann (as well as every other Republican presidential candidate) to use the Governor's mansion as a Motel 6, on our dime. She has just given her staff big raises (again, on our dime), but is nonetheless heralded as a fiscal conservative and Tea Party true-believer. And just wait till she gets started on her newest melodramatic role, "military spouse"--a role she coincidentally landed just in time for the convention.
It's enough to make you sick.
Like, really sick.
And hey, I ain't the only one. Her jilted lover, blogger Will Folks, is even more nauseated than the state's lefties are.
For him, it's personal, as he offers an amazing (and quite comprehensive) a laundry list of her offenses at his conservative blog, FITSNews. He reminds everyone of what is now known as the Savannah River Sellout, and fulminates at some length. (Preach it, Will!)
But in the end, we are just huffing and puffing. It's Haley's night. I've got some DVDs, some Marx Brothers, some American Dad, and if it gets too painful, I will not subject myself to lengthy torture. After all, I live here under Queen Nikki's rule, and I am tortured every time I drive down Woodruff Road, taking my life in my hands.
The only good thing about Romney possibly winning the election, is that Queen Nikki will undoubtedly be dispatched elsewhere. (But then, what about the rest of the country?)
I'm afraid there is no good outcome, and either way, we all lose.
Enjoy the speech... and the fashionistas among you may want to play "name that designer!" while you watch. Bring those anti-nausea meds.
