Dead Air: Sarah Palin becomes a grandma

Friday, January 2, 2009

Sarah Palin becomes a grandma

Bristol and Tripp, AP photo.

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My first thought: Please God, why can't they give these children some decent names?

Bristol Palin, the 18-year-old unmarried daughter of former Vice Presidential candidate/Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, has delivered her first child, Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, over the holidays. Interestingly, Bristol and her child's father, Levi Johnston, repeatedly promised to get married during the presidential campaign and still haven't.

Now, what's up with that? Inquiring minds want to know!

Bristol obediently delivered a statement, claiming teens need to "prevent pregnancy"--yet provides no details about how exactly one should do this. Birth control? Abstinence? Since she did neither, maybe she doesn't know.

“Teenagers need to prevent pregnancy to begin with,” the governor’s teenage daughter said in the statement dated Wednesday but posted Friday. “This isn’t ideal. But I’m fortunate to have a supportive family which is dealing with this together. Tripp is so perfectly precious; we love him with all our hearts. I can’t imagine life without him now.”

She added that she “obviously discourages” other teenage couples from getting pregnant, noting that her life has been forever altered.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Levi's mother, Sherry Johnston, was busted for trafficking Oxys:

Johnston's mother was arrested on felony drug charges this month after state troopers served a search warrant at her Wasilla home. According to authorities, she sent text messages to two police informants in which she discussed making drug transactions involving OxyContin, a strong prescription painkiller.

Alaska? Are these people really from ALASKA? (((winks))) Cultural lesson for today: Just remember, people from the south ain't the only ones that sound like stereotypical Jerry Springer show guests, okay?

And besides, people in the south are not usually named Trig, Track, Willow, Piper, Bristol and Tripp. But maybe I speak too soon...I fear a dangerous trend.

Dear God, those poor kids.

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