Monday, October 29, 2007

Babies having babies is a BAD THING

When my daughter, Delusional Precious, was a teenager, barely of high school age, she climbed out of her bedroom window in the middle of night. Repeatedly. Only she and God know how many times this occurred. She was off to meet winsome Video Store Guy (herein known as VSG), a cute, popular 21-year-old punk rocker and precocious son of a shrink, with a PUNK ROCK ACADEMY ("where all of the students are diagnosed with ADD") bumper sticker on his car. This went on awhile before I caught on, since they also carried on a semi-respectable, knock-on-the-door (Hi Mr and Mrs Daisy! Hi kitties!), leave-for-the-movie dating relationship, which was pretty smart of them. Anima and animus, I figure.

As the bikers say, I was born at night, but I wasn't born last night, and I emotionally (ha!) interrogated Delusional Precious at length after discovering her absence. If I'd known about water-boarding then, I might have given it a try. I asked her point blank, and she answered, also point-blank. (Ah, the honesty of Aries!)

And so, I made a Ob/Gyn appointment the next day. I may even have attempted to make the appointment at 4 in the morning, right after our conversation, or something unreasonable like that.

Backstory: At this time in my life, I really was trying to be a good Catholic, or as good as I could muster (which okay, probably wasn't so good). But at no time, did I think my religious choices applied to the fertility of Delusional Precious, and certainly, I knew it didn't have any bearing on VSG (also from a Good Catholic Family, or at least as good as a Catholic Shrink family could be). Images of squalling infants dancing in my head, I trotted DP off to the doctor to have her cervix probed and examined, and the coveted Rx for you-know-what, duly given. Whew!

Now, we can breathe, and the extended torture session can begin! (Insert Vincent Price cackle here) Of course, I would never torture a pregnant teenager. I was a good Catholic, after all!


I am puzzled by commentary like this, in which adults hyperventilate over the kids using birth control. Do they want children to get knocked up? Because, you know, those are the choices, people. DEAL.

Kids cannot be controlled 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is simply NOT POSSIBLE.

And who is getting the attention here? Girls. Girls get pregnant, girls take the risk, and girls have babies. Girls will be uneducated single mothers. Girls will be broke. Girls will be on AFDC. Girls, not boys. Therefore, this is all about GIRLS, and PENALIZING GIRLS FOR HAVING SEX. NOT BOYS. (Are we really having this conversation in 2007?)

I understand the desire to penalize one's daughter for having sex... but is it the SEX, really, or is it the disobedience that this symbolizes? I can honestly tell you, the risk upset me far more than the sex itself; the idea of DP having a baby with VSG sent me into a panic far beyond the panic I felt when I discovered her absence and thought she had been abducted by aliens (which would have explained plenty!). Having a baby with VSG: NOT AN OPTION. I didn't even consider this worth discussion. I (rather loudly) INFORMED HER that she would be taking the Pill, as of last month!!!! She shrugged and rolled her eyes, in the taciturn and defiant language of teenagers all over the world, but she DID take the pills when they were given to her. She did NOT have a baby with VSG, which proves that novenas and pharmaceuticals, taken together, are far more powerful than either by themselves.

Why would anyone deny this to their child? The logic escapes me. Do they WANT babies having babies in high school?

Bill O'Reilly, weirdly obsessed with sexuality of all kinds, has made major political hay by attacking the school board in Portland, Maine, for doing the Lord's Work, and making sure girls can finish school and have real lives without being weighed down by children:

The school board in Portland voted 7-2 to make that happen. The rationale is that some kids will have sex and the school must try to reduce pregnancies. Also, parents must sign a waiver allowing their children to receive medical care at the school.

However, that medical care is kept secret from the parents, in the birth control area.

Now giving sixth grade girls the pill is dumb. It doesn't protect them from disease and tacitly says that sex at that young age is understandable.

This is foolish, ridiculous, and irresponsible. But in the secular progressive world. The SP doctrine is to quote, "empower children" and downgrade parental authority because some parents are bad.
Dear Bill: fuck you.

Okay, let's say that I am a bad parent. Should my daughter suffer for that? Should a NEW PERSON be brought into the world, simply because I am?

And this new person who is born, will they be supported by---who? You? Rudy Giuliani or Mitt Romney? Pro-life Republicans? Ha! I hardly think so. No, a child born to my minor child would obviously be financially supported by ME. Where do you get off telling ME what to do? Because it takes a village, yada yada. You are telling all of us what to do; the school board, the teachers, the parents--by implication. You are saying: suck it up and get ready for grandchildren.

Who do you think you are?

If I write any more about this topic, I will degenerate into more "fuck you's" and that leads nowhere. Suffice to say, Bill O'Reilly (herein known as BO) pisses me the fuck off! He has millions of dollars to support plenty of grandchildren! LET THEM EAT CAKE, huh BO? Can the new grandparents in Maine drop the babies off at your door? I'm sure you have enough money to start several Sisters-of-Mercy style orphanages, all by how about it? You are critical of abortion (although you notably and significantly hedge about whether abortion should be illegal), so what exactly are you counseling parents to do? Put leashes on the kids? Put them in maximum security lockdown?

How about you put your money where your arrogant mouth is?

How many babies are you promising to support, as the result of your self-righteous, ignorant meddling?

Listening to: The View - Superstar Tradesman
via FoxyTunes


suze said...


Renegade Evolution said...

that was a most excellent rant...

Octogalore said...

Love it. Every neighborhood has a few cute VSGs. The disconnect between politics and accountability is staggering.

Vanessa said...

Awesome post. i'm pretty sure I graduated from Punk Rock Academy.

I think when my daughter is a teenager and starts doing rebellious crap either I will laugh or my head will explode. Maybe I'll just pre-emptively put ortho-tricyclen in her cereal or something.

but yeah, why do people trust horny teenagers, who they won't trust to vote or drink beer, to *not* have sex?

Bill said...

Hi Daisy, I really enjoy your writing you have quite a gift keep up the great work. take care Bill

DaisyDeadhead said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DaisyDeadhead said...

For Vanessa!

Lyrics to PUNK ROCK ACADEMY by Atom and His Package:

I was fighting the mold in my bowl with my pee,
when a thought popped into my brain.
If all of us hated high school so much,
why was nothing ever changed?
So i called brian up, with my plan that's red hot.
It was a private institution in the name of punk-rock.
We got some government funding,
and our own private road,
and 666 for our radio snow code.

I had a dream, when I was in high school
That I attended, the punk rock academy.
I had a dream, when i was in high school,
That I attended the punk rock academy.

Chris jensen's teaching science & he's still running mountain.
We fired the guy from bad religion cuz he sold punk rock out,
and we'll give the dirty punks a dip & get rid of all their fleas.
And we'll never ever buy anything with a UPC.

I had a dream, when I was in high school
That I attended, the punk rock academy.
I had a dream, when I was in high school,
I was at the punk rock academy,
and no one made fun of me.

The punk rock academy.
Where all the students,
they're diagnosed with ADD.
Take me home tonight.
I don't wanna let you go til the feelin's right.
Take me home tonight.
I don't wanna let you go til the feelin's right.

We'll import a token jock, & then we'll kick his token ass!
And there will never ever be a physical education class!
Think about, you'll agree.
It's the bizzity bizzity bomb!
& maybe we can get Assück to play the senior prom!

Vanessa said...

Awesome! Thanks

Cheshire said...

Hell yes.

Reminds me of the doctor I dealt with at 15 who asked me "aren't you a bit young to be on birth control" half way thought an appointment to get me antibiotics for an unrelated infection, I wish I had said no I'm the perfect age to get pregnant, you moron. I didn't, I explained that I was a lesbian and that didn't actually stop my periods hurting, unlike the pill which did, which was true.

But I really should have yelled at him

Kim said...

Wow, Daisy. I love this post, simply LOVE it. My daughter is 8, and I expect to going down the road you did at some point.

"Girls will be uneducated single mothers. Girls will be broke. Girls will be on AFDC. Girls, not boys. Therefore, this is all about GIRLS, and PENALIZING GIRLS FOR HAVING SEX. NOT BOYS."

Too true. In the nearly three years I've been doing my work with formerly/homeless folks, the vast majority of families I've worked with have been single moms with very little to, more often, zero child support. It's a REAL problem and TANF/AFDC and the rules surrounding that are a whole other problem. More on that another time, perhaps.

Rootietoot said...

As the mother of a son who climbed out his window, I can tell you I worried much about his reproductive abilities, and was terrified he'd get a girl pregnant. My husband, our son and I discussed this much, and decided if he and a young woman became pregnant, he'd have to leave school to work full time and provide for mother and child. We were determined that his life would be altered every bit as much as the young woman's. We bought him a box of condoms and fervently wished there were a male equivalent of the pill.
So- it's not just the daughter's parents who worry.

alphabitch said...

Great post, Daisy. Makes me appreciate my mother even more -- not so much her actions and approachability on the subject, but how much she must have worried about my reproductive capacity.

And Vanessa: "Maybe I'll just pre-emptively put ortho-tricyclen in her cereal or something." is totally cracking me up. I'm sure this occurred to my mother, as I resisted her gentle suggestions that I go on the pill for years. Even so, I was in college and had been on the pill for quite a while before I ever did the nasty with a man.

the outsider said...

warmed my heart to see an atom and his package reference :o) i saw atom live when i was 19 or so at a shithole bar somewhere in columbia. really interesting guy lol. *sings*
I had a dream, when i was in high school,
That I attended the punk rock academy

but, great post and great point. i'll be marching in your footsteps before too long =P

Al_Pal said...

Great post -- I came by from your feministe post, very cool.
Rock on, Daisy! :D