Jim DeMint's Tea Party Presidential Forum

At Left: On CNN a few minutes ago, Rep. Michele Bachmann supports a Human Life Amendment.



Yes, I am LIVE BLOGGING Jim DeMint's teabagger forum in Columbia AS IT HAPPENS!

I was unable to hitch a ride down to Columbia in the thunderstorm, so can't be there to yell and scream in person. (sigh) So I am listening online to South Carolina Senator (and major Tea-Party busybody) Jim DeMint and his thoroughly offensive, reactionary love-in. DeMint is tossing lovey-dovey softball questions, along with his trusty minions Congressman Steve King (R–Iowa) and Dr Robert George, founder of the American Principles Project. Dr George just employed the phrase "respect the dignity of all members of the human family, including those in the womb." See, I think they really mean WHITE HETEROSEXUALS in the womb, but then "the human family" has always meant very specific things to Republicans.

Bachmann just said she believed in "equal protection under the law"--wait, what? And she also believes in limiting marriage to heterosexuals. So, she just contradicted herself within three-and-a-half minutes.

Waiting for the Ron Paul fireworks. The rest of these people are wind-up dolls.

Herman Cain, pizza man, is up now.

The questioners are playing immigration-gotcha with Cain. I wonder why? Was he "soft on immigration" at some point in his career? (Did Godfather Pizza neglect to check those Green Cards? Uh-oh!)

These DeMinted minions are pretty obsessed with abortion. In particular, Dr George keeps repeating his line above, ALL MEMBERS OF HUMAN FAMILY... etc. Is he going to use this exact cult-phrase with each and every candidate? (If so, DAISY'S DEAD AIR will hereby reward him with his own post, as I try to do with all the Tea Party whack jobs.) He seems equally obsessed with Catholics being discriminated against by adoption agencies. (NOTE: I didn't understand the importance of this point until his conversation with Governor Romney, later in the debate.)

Cain supports DOMA and traditional marriage. No surprise there. He most especially wanted to talk about his "999" taxation program; Cain's "999" plan replaces the current tax code with a nine percent tax on corporate profits, nine percent on personal income, and nine percent on national retail sales. That magic NINE again! As we discussed here, NINE is the number of completion. Clearly, Herman's been reading his numerology and tarot texts.

Even so, he is a pest, and gets a big fat ZERO from DEAD AIR.

Newt Gingrich!!!! It's the intellectual! Batten down the hatches! Newt is suddenly onstage and makes football jokes out of the box... he appreciates teams like USC that "fumble early in the game, and then come from behind to win." Applause. Cute.

Newt drones on, like a college lecturer (which he has been), talking about the meaning of existence and how the founders were telling us what LIFE MEANT in the Constitution. (Really? Wow, who knew?) And then he goes back to 1802, when Thomas Jefferson eliminated some federal judges. If Jefferson can do it, Newt certainly can. (I just realized that Ohio wasn't even a state then, so I am thinking most of the rest of the country did not exist either... this little fact doesn't derail Newt in the least.)

Gay-baiting time, Newt has a lesbian sister! But the four-times-married heterosexual snubs his sister and the rest of the GLBT population, and says, in so many words, fuck you. He makes it clear that conservatives should not be intimidated by saying marriage is man-woman only.

In this instance, the message for progressives is obvious: INTIMIDATE THEM and call them bigoted haters at every opportunity ... obviously, cautioning his comrades that they should not be intimidated, means they already are.

He calls President Barack Obama "the most effective food stamp president in history"--engaging in some oblique race-baiting. (Newt was always really good at that, while running for congress in Georgia.) Then he accelerates the race-baiting ever-so-slightly, by talking about Detroit. (Why Detroit, of all places? Hm?) Why hasn't Obama fixed Detroit? And repeal Dodd Frank while you're at it! (no explanation of WHY is given) And he likes offshore drilling, the Webb Warner bill, drill baby drill! He reminds everyone in the audience what this would mean for Charleston Harbor. ($$$) Talk about pandering.

Yes, the minion repeated his "respect the dignity of all members of the human family, including those in the womb" cult phrase, for the third time.

Ron Paul gets a squeal from the back of the convention hall, the biggest applause of the afternoon so far.

Congressman Paul starts off sounding like a zealot; a little too wonky. He knows his Constitution and quotes Article 1, section whatever, as impressively as Newt does. Did you know only gold and silver were intended to be legal tender? (I expect a spate of CASH FOR GOLD ads on my blog now.)

He basically wants to dismantle the state, including (did I hear him right?) the police force. He says thousands of bureaucrats were not supposed to be armed, the PEOPLE are supposed to be armed. Hm. Jefferson got rid of the Central Bank, Jackson demolished the Central Bank and we must have the courage to take on the fed. Stop printing money. Keynesian economics will bankrupt the country. Etc.

And then, they asked about our global role. Representative Paul was unequivocal: bring all the US troops home. Now. No nation-building! A woman in the back screamed in approval; there was applause. Ron Paul pointed out that the USA is basically subsidizing South Korea, Germany and Japan's defense. Make them pay for it themselves, he said.

But, but, but... Rep. Steve King says, no troops ANYWHERE? ANYWHERE? He is clearly in shock.

Nope, Ron stands firm. Nowhere. (Audience applause, and I found myself grinning at this.) The man has balls!

About the welfare state, he said a generation had grown up believing in "entitlements" and that is a bad thing. And then, he segued into corporations garnering staggering entitlements, and he almost made me swoon. Nice touch, dude.

Dr George delivers the anti-abortion cult statement once more. (He is going for the gold.) Ron Paul says he would let the states settle the issue. Dr George seems happy with Ron Paul's anti-abortion voting record, but he doesn't like his states rights position. (See, conservatives love "states rights" when it suits them, but not when it doesn't.) Dr Paul compares this to the capital punishment situation, which is different in all states. He seems pleased with that. Dr George, obviously, is not pleased with that AT ALL.

Aside: What about the old Libertarian position, which Ron Paul used to tout when he was running for president as a Libertarian in the 70s? Am I the only person who remembers that? He said THEN, that abortion was not a political issue. When did he change his mind and WHY WON'T SOMEBODY ASK HIM THAT????

Too wonky and disjointed. DEAD AIR gives him a 25% for effort, and for being original.

And now, the android from the catalog, Governor MITT ROMNEY! (Does anyone remember Barbie's boyfriend, KEN, by MATTEL?)

He starts off quoting Justice Brandeis: "The STATES should be the laboratories of democracy." It sounds nice, so he gets all pumped up and pleased with himself.

During Romney's rap, thought I heard some chanting from outside... did somebody bust in? (Or is it just somebody yelling at their kids in the lobby?) I hope it was a hell-raiser! Yeah!

Romney dutifully regurgitates what the others have said, throws in criticisms of Dodd-Frank and all the rest of it. The thing is, he LOOKS so much better than all the rest. He is totally TV-ready, no umming and ahhing like Herman and Ron, no bad hair like Newt, no gollee-gee flat Midwestern accent like Michele. In fact, he sounds like a radio personality with NO regionalisms at all; as George Carlin once said, the DJ voice says, "HELLO! I'm from NOWHERE!"--and Romney sounds like he is most assuredly from Nowhere. He does remind us that he prays. (Better not linger on that TOO long, dude.)

For the fifth time, Dr George repeats his cult phrase about the members of the human family. I am starting to find this really super-creepy. Why these special words, this particular incantation? Why does he say it the same exact way every time? He appears to be a reasonably intelligent and informed person, able to speak extemporaneously... why does he keep up the mantra? Does he think this phrase will especially prick the consciences of pro-choice people or something? I dunno. However, it does finally become clear why he keeps mentioning adoption and Catholics: Catholic adoption agencies won't place children with gay parents, and of course, conservatives don't think they should.

And on this Labor Day, asshole Jim DeMint trashes UNIONS and grills Romney about Right-to-Work laws. The fact that the whole audience is allowed to sit there and have a LABOR DAY holiday, obtained for the American people by UNIONS, makes me damn livid... and I nearly STOPPED THIS WHOLE POST. Hypocrisy SUCKS, Senator.

Ending on a note of definite dyspepsia.

Rick Santorum is right here in Greenville, a few miles away, at Chiefs Wings and Firewater... they didn't invite him to the show. Tee hee.