Friday, January 2, 2009

Sarah Palin becomes a grandma

Bristol and Tripp, AP photo.

~*~

My first thought: Please God, why can't they give these children some decent names?

Bristol Palin, the 18-year-old unmarried daughter of former Vice Presidential candidate/Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, has delivered her first child, Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, over the holidays. Interestingly, Bristol and her child's father, Levi Johnston, repeatedly promised to get married during the presidential campaign and still haven't.

Now, what's up with that? Inquiring minds want to know!

Bristol obediently delivered a statement, claiming teens need to "prevent pregnancy"--yet provides no details about how exactly one should do this. Birth control? Abstinence? Since she did neither, maybe she doesn't know.

“Teenagers need to prevent pregnancy to begin with,” the governor’s teenage daughter said in the statement dated Wednesday but posted Friday. “This isn’t ideal. But I’m fortunate to have a supportive family which is dealing with this together. Tripp is so perfectly precious; we love him with all our hearts. I can’t imagine life without him now.”

She added that she “obviously discourages” other teenage couples from getting pregnant, noting that her life has been forever altered.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Levi's mother, Sherry Johnston, was busted for trafficking Oxys:
Johnston's mother was arrested on felony drug charges this month after state troopers served a search warrant at her Wasilla home. According to authorities, she sent text messages to two police informants in which she discussed making drug transactions involving OxyContin, a strong prescription painkiller.
Alaska? Are these people really from ALASKA? (((winks))) Cultural lesson for today: Just remember, people from the south ain't the only ones that sound like stereotypical Jerry Springer show guests, okay?

And besides, people in the south are not usually named Trig, Track, Willow, Piper, Bristol and Tripp. But maybe I speak too soon...I fear a dangerous trend.

Dear God, those poor kids.

~*~

My piece on Palin's impending grandmotherhood, a perennial favorite I posted on Feministe.

Palin is "hardcore pro-life" by Jill at Feministe

The Sarah Palin Baby name generator!--which was obviously pretty useful for Bristol.

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Listening to: The Strangeloves - Night Time
via FoxyTunes

18 comments:

ArrogantWorm said...

"And besides, people in the south are not usually named Trig, Track, Willow, Piper, Bristol and Tripp. But maybe I speak too soon...I fear a dangerous trend."

You too? I'm more fond of older names. I don't mind Piper and Willow, they just manage to squeak by, but Trig, Track and Bristol, well - Bristol reminds me of something, s'on the tip o'the tongue, just can't think of - what -, bugs me. I see 'Tripp' and I think Captain Trips, a deadly flu virus from "The Stand" a la Stephen King. And 'Track', well, might as well flash backwards and give the poor fellow a spyglass and a pair of gumshoes - sounds like an old private eye hardcover.

One of these days (soonish, at the rate I'm going) I'll haul out a few stories 'bout a few people in the North - The South has - far - from a monopoly of Jerry Springer guests.

JoJo said...

Ah yes. "Hillbilly Heroin". I hope the Wasilla Hillbillies fade into obscurity SOON.

ArrogantWorm said...

Oh, oh! And according to the Palin name generator, I'd have been named 'Halter'. - shudders -

thene said...

Wow. Can this all get any more vacuous? Prevent pregnancy, a message with no means, no direction, no integrity, and with its failures being its only great cheerleaders.

I confess I think Piper is a lovely name, but the rest can go plsthnx.

Can we open a pool for the wedding date? 'Cause I'd like to lay a fiver on 'never'.

Daisy said...

AW, Captain Trips was Jerry Garcia's nickname, before it was a virus in SK's novel.

To me, Tripp and Track and names like that, are what some 80s reader of "The Preppie Handbook" decided rich yacht club members are named. Like Fox News reporter Trace Gallagher (changed from Tracy) or NBC's Stone Phillips (his actual Yalie name).

You can almost hear them saying "Ohhh--let's name them something rich and Republican"--eeeyuck. What hath Ralph Lauren (born Ralph Lifshitz) wrought?

mrsmadrigal said...

I have to admit that I like Piper and, since Buffy, Willow (especially Bad Willow).

I guess down south you have names like Scout, Jem and Atticus :-). If I had had a boy, I would have been so tempted to name him Atticus.

I hope that some future child of Bristol's will be called "Condom Responsibility"

Regards
Copper Catfish Madrigal.

ArrogantWorm said...

Oooooh, it was Garcia's nickname - didn't know that, lovely little tidbit. Wonder if they worked it into any posters? Got a picture-book from m'grandmother of musical artwork, 50's through 80's by ....mouse? Love the Dead artwork, anyway, so pretty.

anodyne Brownie said...

I'm old so I recall Capt. Trips, but 'Tripp' to me means Linda Tripp, an ugly evil woman.
To the Republican Palins she may however, have been a hero.

and Trip is apparently a nickname for anybody who is The Third, eg
Thomas Cruise Mopather III aka
'Trip' Mopather.

Re Mrs Johnstone's bust: If my son was gonna marry into the Palin family, I would need painkillers too.

La Lubu said...

Interestingly, Bristol and her child's father, Levi Johnston, repeatedly promised to get married during the presidential campaign and still haven't.

Now, what's up with that? Inquiring minds want to know!


Funny, my father and I had a conversation about that around a week ago; I said I assumed it was so Bristol could have health insurance for the birth and baby. I doubt that Levi has a job that provides heath insurance (is he even employed?). Even so, some forms of health insurance wouldn't cover the pregnancy or birth (as a "pre-existing condition".

I'm also assuming that they won't get married until Levi either finishes high school or gets his GED. There's not much the Palins can do to get Levi hired on some pipeline job until he completes his education----every apprenticeship requires either a diploma or GED.

Dennis the Vizsla said...

Sarah Palin missed an opportunity here. She could have named the next two kids after Bristol "Myers" and "Squibb" and she could have gotten some good advertising dollars rolling in.

belledame222 said...

Trip always seems like the quintessential Preppie name. Like he should be going out with a girl named Briony Evelyn Anne, whose school nickname is "Roo" or "Muffy" or something.

belledame222 said...

Ralph Lauren (born Ralph Lifshitz)

...*seriously for reals?* AHAHAHAHAHA so perfect...

belledame222 said...

Yeah, Piper's okay, I guess. I mean, Piper Laurie.

The names also remind me of my parents' (and my former) across the street neighbors, whose kids were named Trilby and Trevor and Ashley, the oldest one who became a skinhead Nazi for a while.

Bryce said...

"Re Mrs Johnstone's bust: If my son was gonna marry into the Palin family, I would need painkillers too."

anodyne: comment of the year!

KCB said...

It's really hard to see that situation. I just hope Bristol doesn't end up shackled to Levi and his doper family just because she had a baby.

ZenDenizen said...

I was hoping they'd name him Zamboni.

sheila said...

:o)

What a tripppp!

Kristin said...

"And besides, people in the south are not usually named Trig, Track, Willow, Piper, Bristol and Tripp."

Hehehehe... Ain't that the truth.