IF YOU ARE A WOMAN AND YOU HAVE EVER--
...had a credit card in your own name, rather than a man's name.
...used safe birth control.
...worked in a field once considered male or that is still predominantly male.
...worn pants to school at any time during your academic life.
...learned to play unladylike instruments such as the drums (which I wasn't permitted to learn).
...played on a sports team and people were actually proud of you for it.
...know where your clitoris is.
...know where your G-spot is.
...had a home birth.
...had a safe, legal abortion.
...voted for Hillary, Nancy Pelosi or any other openly feminist candidate.
...decided to postpone childbearing until your 30s or later.
...decided not to have children at all, and didn't make up health reasons for it.
...decided to have a career AND children.
...been on maternity leave and got paid for it, rather than fired, demoted or laid off.
...had a stay-at-home husband.
...decided not to get married at all.
...decided to try polyamory or another alternative lifestyle.
...learned to play billiards, poker or Blackjack; ride a Harley or drive a semi.
...had/have a woman minister/rabbi/priest or are one yourself.
...think what you say is as important as what a man says.
...don't believe that women who are raped somehow "asked for it"
...don't believe that a wife beaten by her husband somehow "asked for it"--or that it is "none of your business" if domestic violence goes on in relationships.
...learned that an orgasm is as important to you as it is to any man.
...made a lot of money, unconnected to what your male partner does.
...came out as a lesbian, believing it's great and exciting and cool (etc) rather than something to hide or lie about.
...played with anything other than dolls, tea sets, E-Z Bake ovens or coloring books as a child.
...went anywhere alone after the age of 12.
...been allowed to read whatever you wanted as a child or teenager.
...worn pants to work.
...took a woodworking class in school.
...had a tattoo, or several.
...kept your "maiden" name or use a hyphenated name.
...worn any clothing considered "outrageous"--i.e. hippie, punk, goth, vintage, etc.
...ran for any office other than school board.
...gave a man custody of your children, expecting to actually see them again.
...invested in property or stocks under your own name.
...had a bank account separate from your husband's.
...lived with a man outside of marriage, and people still speak to you, employ you, etc.
...attended any kind of sex education course in public school.
...unabashedly enjoyed pornography, football, boxing, or other traditionally male entertainments.
...expected to make as much money per hour as a man does.
...been permitted to go into a gym or basketball court and work out.
...attended college for reasons other than finding a husband.
...listened to aggressive music (rock, hip-hop) by women.
...listened to ANY music produced by women.
...watch television shows or movies produced, directed and written by women.
...had elective surgery without your husband's or father's signature.
...dated/married a heterosexual man who used cosmetics, moisturizers, or had his hair done.
...been in a position of authority over a man.
...use Ms. instead of Miss or Mrs.
ADD YOUR OWN, PLAY ALONG AT HOME.
This post was inspired by the young feminists who seem to believe they have invented feminism and have nothing to learn from women over 50. Well, I have some news for you. As Kevin McCarthy famously said at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers: You're next!
I hope you are prepared to be ignored when you are older, since you are doing absolutely nothing to change that state of affairs NOW.
Who am I talking to?
If you have not included old women in your blog roll, read their books, heard their point of view, nominated them for awards, listened to their histories, included them in your feminism and they pointedly are not commenting on your blog, ask yourself what you are doing wrong and keep in mind: This post is for you.
Listening to: The Pretenders - Precious
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
IF YOU ARE A WOMAN AND YOU HAVE EVER--