Tuesday, December 11, 2007

You'll be doing all right, with your Christmas of white...

At left: Is it--? Yes it IS! It's Phil Spector as Santa Claus! Take cover!


If one is fully experiencing what a former co-worker of mine at the Open Book used to call The Zen of Retail, then one is able to detach from one's immediate surroundings and carefully observe the psychology of both Christmas and capitalism. Careful analysis of the music, which reflects the selected ambience, the projected market or target of the music, the veritable soundtrack of the season, if you will... ah, here is true yuletide wisdom!

I try to remember these wise words, every year.

As a retail wage-slave, I have been listening to lots and lots of Christmas music, against my will. Some of it barely qualifies as holiday music, unless you consider "Shake your ass for Christmas" or "Spank me for Christmas," part of your Advent repertoire, and certainly, some folks do. It's either that or a buncha damn kiddie songs, Holly Jolly Christmas, and so on. Bah, humbug! (You're a mean one, Mr Grinch.)

Sometimes, if you're lucky, you get the transcendent Charlie Brown Christmas music. Spookier this year than last year, is Frosty the Snowman, as delivered by Ronnie Spector and the Ronettes, since you know her creepy, homicidal ex-husband (see above) was standing nearby and forbidding her to leave his sight. (*Source: He's a Rebel) Maybe they should play that song at Halloween instead?

On the EZ-smooth muzak station, we hear Frank Sinatra sing his sweet version of "Oh by gosh by golly, it's time for Mistletoe and Holly"--just as smooth and nice as gravy on rice. Then we hear him later in his Vegas period: "Just! Hear! Thoooo-oooose! Sleigh Bells ringling! Jing-jing-jingling too! Jack!" and it's interesting to think about his progression from the young Sinatra to the old Sinatra... but that is way beyond the scope of this blog, or even Christmas itself.

Madonna's "Santa Baby" was xeroxed (that is to say, stolen) from the far-superior original by Eartha Kitt, but I'm sure she's cagey enough to call it a "homage" instead.

Elvis is credited with starting the pop Christmas music trend, but please, you should not BLAME him, just as he can't be held accountable for any bad rock music that followed. Elvis recorded a whole Christmas album at a time (1957) when only mainstream singers (which meant: no rock or pop) like Frank Sinatra, did. Many believed Elvis cut the record only to garner respectability, since it indeed DID bring him major respectability. Even mainstream people who disliked rock and roll bought the Christmas record, which was a sensation containing the huge hit ballad Blue Christmas. I've never believed that he did it only for respectability, but also to stake a claim that he was as good as the Frank Sinatras of the world. As for the Christian-respectability angle, it was something Elvis fell back on his whole life, making gospel records right alongside the others. (I know this because my grandmother owned them all.)

Dean Martin's "It's a Marshmallow World in the Winter" makes me think of Tony Soprano driving that poor guy out of his lakefront house by broadcasting Dean Martin 24/7 at deafening levels, from a boat on the lake. Imagine waking up to DEAN MARTIN serenading you, huh? Yes, I'd have to move, too.

I already played my Kinks Christmas song for you, and now here is my ABSOLUTE favorite Christmas pop song by glam-rock band Slade, which I defy you not to love as much as I do. Lots of Americans have never heard of Slade, believe it or not:

Slade were one of the most recognisable acts of the glam rock movement and were, at their peak, the most commercially popular band in the UK. They are well known for the deliberate misspelling of their song titles and for the song Merry Xmas Everybody (released December 1973), now one of the most iconic Christmas pop songs in the United Kingdom.
(from Foxytunes, below)

Turn it up!


merry christmas everybody

[via FoxyTunes / Slade]


Bryce said...

i still like oasis version best!

*dukes up*

Marion said...

Hi, I'm visiting from Blog Village...and we hear Slade's song in Canada, too!

I loved the line "just as smooth and nice as gravy on rice." That's exactly it!

MsDemmie said...

I can remember waiting with bated breath to see if Slade made it to Number One in the charts. We smuggled a transistor radio into school just to see when the charts were announced at lunchtime.

My favourite Christmas song has to be Greg Lakes - I believe in Father Christmas.

Thank you for your visit - Happy Holidays.

jan said...

This is the time of year when I try to avoid any music written in the last two centuries. Anything classical seems to fit the season and it doesn't send me into deep depression.

Rosa said...

How did Phil Spector manage to get a santa hat over that hair of his?!

I'm getting tired of Chirstmas music. A couple of the stations here started playing it on Thanksgiving. We have a radio at work, and one of my co-workers has it on the Chirstmas music ALL THE TIME. It's like the Twilight Zone.

--Bamboo Blitz-- said...

Nice! Oh, this post is helping me get into the spirit of the season :)

Anonymous said...

That's a great song - thanks for the clip. Never heard of Slade.