Sunday, May 19, 2013

Knuckleheads of the world, unite!



Above: Blue Ridge Christian Academy.

My grandfather, the Christian Scientist, frequently used that expression when confronted with anti-science dolts. I immediately knew it had to be the title of this piece.

I can do no better than to simply quote my local newspaper, the Greenville News, about this latest horror.

And to the rest of Blogdonia, Tumblr, all points of the internet and beyond, let me underscore it: SEE WHAT WE PUT UP WITH AROUND HERE? This is why I often do not take your intramural lefty-theoretical squabbles seriously. In these parts, we are still dealing with the freaking Scopes trial.

The title of the Greenville News account is Blue Ridge quiz ignites firestorm, accompanied by the coy subtitle, Furor brings attention, but possibly salvation. This is a cute example of how the Greenville News always tries to have it both ways. As is evident in the article below, this phrase could refer to 'salvation of the school itself'--which was ready to go belly-up financially... OR it could mean, literally, the way to Salvation with a capital S. (article is credited to Lyn Riddle, staff writer)

Which meaning is intended? You decide:

It was labeled “4th grade science quiz. Dinosaurs: Genesis and the Gospel.”

Eighteen questions. The first four were true or false.

The earth is billions of years old. A lopsided pencil mark circled false.

Dinosaurs lived millions of years ago, another circle: false.

It went on from there, testing students on the beginning of the world according to creationism, the belief that the literal interpretation of the first book of the Bible explains it all. Both were marked correct.

Before long, the quiz was posted on the social news website Reddit, unleashing a firestorm of criticism on Blue Ridge Christian Academy, a tiny private Christian school in northern Greenville County.

In what board chair Joy Hartsell says shows God is at work in the world, the controversy may be what saves the school from closing.

About six weeks ago, parents were told that the school would close May 31 because the founder and major donor would no longer make up the loss in operating expenses, said Diana Baker, the director.

“We may have found the path to get the money,” Hartsell said Friday.

So far, about $10,000 toward the $200,000 needed to stay open next fall has been received and more checks arrive in the mail every day, Baker said.

She said she received a $3,000 check on Thursday.
Cue my grandfather's phrase, the title of this blog post.

Fundies to the rescue! Knuckleheads of the world, unite!

The rest of the article makes it clear that the sheltered and ignorant denizens of Blue Ridge Christian Academy have never even seen Reddit before. Someone obviously unleashed the "DIAF" meme, which made them hyperventilate and call the sheriff's office. Do you believe? If I had called the sheriff every time someone online wished a nasty death on me... well, the Greenville County sheriff would be permanently camped out in my kitchen.

But yes, pick a fight with stupidity and then howl when the world takes you seriously, as I have said numerous times, is the usual fundamentalist technique.

Your thoughts?

4 comments:

bryce said...

my thoughts: UGH

Lindsay said...

"SEE WHAT WE PUT UP WITH HERE? This is why I often do not take your intramural lefty-theoretical squabbles seriously. In these parts, we are still dealing with the freaking Scopes trial."

Yes, I feel this way a lot too!

(I don't live in South Carolina, but I do live in Kansas, which has its own problems with religious extremism.)

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Conseglieri said...

This may be a good example of the "Law of Unintended Consequences". We all made such fun of them for the stupid-to-the-extreme "test" that some obviously took offense and decided to throw some money at them. Yes, there are some who actually believe that Jesus rode a dinosaur, but I suspect most who donated don't buy that junk. They just want to support a fellow Christian who is "being attacked".