Monday, June 16, 2014

Primary elections depress me

I started to blog about the South Carolina primary of last Tuesday, but then I thought... WHAT FOR? Everybody was a shoo-in. I needn't have bothered to show up or vote. Senator Tim Scott won his primary bid, while Lindsey Graham was never in any real trouble at all, despite all his okey-doke on TV, designed to scare the hawks into giving him more money.

Depressing as hell.

As regular DEAD AIR readers know, I vote strategically, which means I vote in the Republican primary, since that's where the action is in my decidedly hyper-conservative state. Lindsey Graham fended off SIX (!) Tea Party challengers, with one hand tied behind his back. As Mr Daisy often says, only God knows how much money Lindsey Graham has. He could probably stand at the polling place (beyond the legal 200 yard-perimeter of course!) and hand out twenty-dollar-bills and not be any poorer for it. As it is, he and Tim Scott rate free commercials from Big Oil and Big Plastic, so he can hold onto his twenties. (and his fifties, and his hundreds...)

And yeah, that is WHAT I SAID: SIX TEA PARTY CHALLENGERS, including famously-wacky Lee Bright (I got a photo of him HERE, which got a new round of look-sees during the campaign) and a pro-lifer who drives an ice-cream truck and likes to call himself a "businessman". (He OWNS the ice cream truck, apparently.)

I voted for the ice cream truck driver, the only one I have met personally. I know ice cream truck drivers ("businessman" or not) will never make it to the Senate.

If these clowns could AGREE WITH EACH OTHER and band together as a unit, then ONE of them could have beaten Senator Graham in the primary. But they are SO specific about every jot and tittle of their conservative principles, it really is People's Front of Judea vs The Judean Peoples Front time. They can't even agree with each other. This is likely due to the fact that there are just SO MANY conservatives here, they can easily splinter over what the rest of us would consider small or inconsequential issues, just as the Left does in places like Berkeley or Boston.

The big news is that Brad Hutto, one of those conservative Democrats that are really Republicans, won the Democratic Senatorial Primary. He thinks he can take Graham, since Eric Cantor was ousted in Virginia. However, take note: Cantor was ousted by the aforementioned TEA PARTY, who managed NOT to have six candidates running at once, but only ONE, and then properly UNITED, they kicked ass. That's how its done; be advised!

Does Hutto think he can take advantage of Tea Party indignation over immigration and endless war? Well, maybe.

Democrat Vincent Sheheen, who already lost a gubernatorial election to (now Governor) Nikki Haley, is running against her AGAIN. As all of you know, I think this is a half-assed idea, and new blood would be far better.

Too bad they can't find any, since they are ineffectual as HELL.

Lindsey Graham has stood up against Tea Party outings, Tea Party attacks, David Brooks almost-naming him as a groper on TV, and countless other sticky situations. He seems bulletproof.

It also matters tremendously, as I have said before, that he is one of the most charming people in the world.


Stay tuned, sports fans.


JoJo said...

I always voted Republican in the primaries in WA b/c we had open primaries, just so I could vote for someone other than Bush. I figured they'd need my vote more than the Democratic candidates!

bryce said...

haley needs to go, i wish somebody else was running - not tired dem party hack shaheen

Gorgeous Gregg said...

I understand that Thomas Ravenel plans to gather 10,000 signatures to run as an independent. Maybe we should try to organize a group of folks and sell our services gathering signatures to him. He's rich.