Left: Phil Spector and his attorney, Linda Kenney Baden. Photo from Reuters.
Some wit over on Darwin Exception quoted Robert Duvall in APOCALYPSE NOW: You know, some day this trial is gonna end.
Since Wednesday, I've been listening to streaming videos of the closing arguments because I started flipping out every time COURT TV cut to a commercial: Don't interrupt Alan Jackson! (((shrieks!)))
And that's how you know you're an addict: GIVE ME MY CLOSING ARGUMENTS, NOW!!!!! (roller-derby blocking-elbow to anyone who tries to take the remote from me)
I start shaking and getting weak when I don't get my closing arguments.
Anyway, here is our hero Alan Jackson, courtesy of the redoubtable Kim, at the aforementioned Darwin Exception; she wonderfully titled her post He had me at "Don't Go!":
"Five months ago, you didn’t know the real Phil Spector - but things have changed. Now that you know who he is and what he is and what he does, and his violent history with women and guns, now that you know all this, let’s go back, outside of this courtroom, let’s move out to the parking lot, the parking lot adjacent to the House of Blues, the one you’ve seen so many photographs of, this parking lot. It’s February 3, 2003, it’s late at night, actually it’s early in the morning, it’s dark out.. The lot’s beginning to empty. Go with me to that location, mentally take yourselves with me to that location. The lot’s not full, the valets are starting to clean up for the night. And you see over towards the side a big shiny black Mercedes, and as you look to your left standing in that parking lot, you see Philip Spector emerge from the House of Blues, he’s wearing all black except for a big white jacket, it’s oversized, a little too big for him, too big on the shoulders, too long, sleeves too baggy, and he steps out of the House of Blues accompanied by a tall beautiful blonde with blonde ringlets. She’s taller than he is and she’s wearing an above the knee slip dress, a black jacket and she has a leopard skin purse slung over her right shoulder. As you stand in that parking lot think about where you are and what you’re seeing. As you stand in the parking lot you begin to hear them talk and you overhear their conversation, you can hear as Phil Spector begins to insist that Lana Clarkson come back to his castle. He tries to coax her back to the location. And you listen as she constantly says “no, thank you, no, I can’t go, I’ve got to work tomorrow, no thank you, but I can’t join you Mr. Spector” And you listen as he continues to try to lure her back to his castle. Back to the Alhambra castle. “Come back to my castle and see my castle.” And then, just then, you think you hear in her voice a little crack - she may begin to relent, she may actually accept his offer. You’re standing in that parking lot and you’re watching this conversation. Let me ask you a question. If you could say but one thing to Lana Clarkson right then, standing at the back of that Mercedes, in that parking lot, just one thing, you can say but one thing to her, one sentence, one phrase, even two little words, even if you had to whisper it, what would you say? Had I asked you that question 5 months ago, when you first walked into this courtroom, you couldn’t answer it, you’d shrug, and you’d say “I don’t know what I’d say to her”. But now that you know the real Phil Spector, now that you know who he is, and what he is, and what he does, what would you say? Even if you had to whisper it so he couldn’t hear, all of you, all 17 of you are thinking the same thing, you’d lean over and you’d whisper “don’t go”. Don’t go. You’d simply say “Lana, Don’t Go.” And the reason every one in this jury box thought the same thing, maybe the words a little bit different, but the thought was the same. The reason that you would say that is because you know something she didn’t know. You know the real Phil Spector. And if you thought to yourself “I’d tell her not to go” it’s because you know in your heart of hearts, after hearing all of this evidence, you know in your heart of hearts, he’s responsible for her death. He killed her."
And with that powerful little scenario we begin closing arguments.
Frankly, I think Alan Jackson could have sat down after that little speech. He had them at “Don’t Go.” Or at least he had me. I swear to God I got cold chills up and down my spine and my eyes welled up with tears when Jackson leaned over the jury box, put his hands up against his mouth and whispered “Don’t Go” - even though I was shouting at him the same two words two sentences before he got there.
Sure, there was more powerful argument later - the big red “X’s” he squeakily put through each item in the chart of “10 Reasons Science will Prove Lana Was Holding The Gun” Linda Kenney Baden had outlined in her opening statement, the picture flashed on the ELMO of Phil Spector standing pointing his finger like a gun with the words imposed in red underneath “I Think I Killed Somebody” (which Jackson opined could have been more frankly spoken as “I think I FINALLY killed somebody”), and the slap in the face to the entire defense team when he ended with the montage from “Lana Unleashed” of the Steely Dan song “Peg” playing “So won’t you smile for the camera, you know I love you better….” as Lana in her different costumes, roles and skits from the reel flashed on the screen, all with her brilliant smile and bright sparkling eyes. “That” Jackson told the jurors, “That was the real Lana Clarkson”. As opposed to what Jackson called the “Defense of Desperation” we had seen for the last four months, and the second murder of Lana Clarkson.
Lana's mother cried during the closing arguments. :(
I will NOT be quoting Linda Kenney-Baden's defense closing on behalf of Phil Spector. You will have to go to misogynist, evil, pro-Phil blogs for that. Or you can check out Kim's account, always readable, accurate, detailed, and thoroughly fun.
And now, we wait, with fingers crossed.
You know, someday this trial's gonna end.